How much support are you giving for GCSE?

[Thesecretsunnygardens]

After reading some other threads I just realised that we are not providing much support to DC who is in year 10. Apart from providing food, tutors for maths and science and asking them if they need help with anything which they normally decline,

Predicted grades are not great so I feel we have been failing DC somehow. How do you get time to work and do other things?

What are you doing? Studying with them? Checking their homework? Reminding every day to study.

Once they move to secondary school we pretty much leave school to them or expect them to reach out to us/take the initiative if they need help/support.

What feedback are you getting from the tutors?

I don’t think mine would have taken kindly to me checking their homework, but I would help to work things out if asked and check that homework had been done. They had a place to study and access to study guides, methods of study etc.

It sounds like you are providing a lot of support to me. I have done nothing really. I educate myself about when her exams are so I can ask about them afterwards. I show interest by being aware of how hard or easy they are likely to be.. and other than that I provide snacks and drinks! However my dd is fairly self sufficient so I recognise that if she wasn’t, I may be having to be giving more supports and prompts. Oh.. I did buy her a new maths set after she lost her protractor!!

Oh yes my dh bought the study guides back at the start of year 10. They are definitely useful particularly for science

Thank you.

Which ones are those?

They are very specific to your board and whether they are doing foundation or higher and whether combined or triple. But once you have that info you can easily get them on Amazon. Perhaps ask school if you aren’t sure

Loads!! It was horrendous. I had two if them one school year apart. I sat with them for maths and sciences and worked through revision, past papers etc. For english they had a tutor and for some others (business studies, RS I just let them get on with it as I don’t have the skills or time to help and they weren’t critical to progression).

But if I hadn’t they wouldn’t have got the grades to get into the sixth forms they were aiming for. They both hated it but at the same time knew they needed it because they just didn’t have the self discipline to do it alone.

I always said that I would leave them to it for A levels if they got that far. By that age I think if they can’t self motivate they never will. Both of them rose to it and did very well at A levels after an adjustment period. It helps that for A levels they are studying subjects that they enjoy.

Both of them are very grateful that I forced them to study and they say that it taught them what they needed to do for A levels.

Different DC need different levels of support.

The absolute minimum I would expect however is being aware of tests and results, and of progress of any big project work. Also knowing what subjects they are doing and how they are assessed.

Mine needed a lot of support, but as I say, it varies.

We were VERY hands on with DS when he first started secondary school and before he became a "Kevin the teenager" so he was amenable to us checking his books after marking, checking the homework app, sitting with him and helping when things were hard, making him do his homework before leaving the dining table after evening meal, etc. So we got him started with good study habits early on.

As the months and years passed, we pulled away, but he maintained the good habits. We'd buy him extra revision books/notes when it came to GCSE and A levels, but other than that, we left him to it, and that worked as the engrained habits of doing his homework before anything else, studying for tests, etc., paid dividends and he could see the results in terms of high scores/marks in homework and tests, and he just carried on when it came to external exams.

DC is doing foundation and combined science. Forcing has never worked.

I don’t think I have the knowledge to revise with them. Didn’t grow up in England and not a native English speaker. Don’t understand the curriculum.

This is helpful. Thank you

Did you work? Managed to do other things while helping them with their exams?

The CGP books are really good IME. DS used them to revise and did really well.

I will suggest this and buy them if they are interested.

Dd15 in y10. She’s able and organised. I have never had to check she has done her homework - she had that nailed on day 1. But I helped with tests and homework more in y7 and y8, dwindling to almost nothing in y9. She doesn’t want me involved at all in y10z

Now in y10: I bought revision guides, snacks, stationery, a really good lamp for her desk. I ask how things are going a few times a week and if she wants to go any deeper than “Fine” I ask questions about what topics she’s doing or how she’s feeling. I attend parents evening, I’m aware of timetabling of tests and create space in the family calendar to respect her busy periods.. I intermittently check in to ask if she wants a tutor in her worst subject (English). I make sure she’s still making time to relax, socialise and exercise.

I did get involved when dd totally went off the rails in one subject and basically went on homework strike, stepped in to engage with the teacher.

my view is : if grades are tracking okay, allowing for occasional wobbles, and dd seems to be in a good place from MH point of view, then I’m not going to helicopter parent her.

I work three days a week which helped. Definitely would have been much harder working full time but I would have done as much as possible. I also am a competitive runner so spend a lot of time training and racing so yes, we found time to do other things but it wasn’t pleasant. But it’s quite a short period of time and the plus side is that you feel like you have soooo much time when they are done.

Also agree that different kids need different levels of support. My son was more independent than my daughter at that age but by A levels it evened out (and actually she probably worked harder than he did but they did different subjects).

What stationery should I buy? And snacks? 🙈

We have bought the gcp books for science because the school suggested it.
Bought the maths one too.
Didn't buy the English because there was curriculum changes, and we didn't know what texts they were studying. Later in the year the school were offering the gcp English books for purchase through them so we did that.
The science has been used the most. Maths a little, English- not at all.

I have offered to help if needed and left it to dc to tell me if help is wanted. It has mainly been printing things, ordering some fine line pens they wanted for art and helping make some flash cards.

For me it was supporting them in good study habits - completing homework when set, revision habits. It takes cajoling, encouraging, snacks, fancy stationery. My eldest has currently nicked my v expensive candle to revise with. He is revidsing for his least favourite GCSE. Whatever it takes.

What has worked best is setting the example.
’i know you hate doing xxx and I hate ironing so why don’t we both get it done then we can watch an episode of something.

or I’ve got lots of emails to do, you sit with me and revise for a bit and then we can go for a bike ride.

tell them how proud you are of them and remember they’re learning.

I stopped doing all that when mine went to secondary school. To be fair, mine already had good habits instilled by year 6 primary. I would only intervene if it was flagged up that there was a problem eg not doing homework.
I have a year 11 and we are in the thick of the exam period now. I know which exams he has each day and ask him how it went, but studying with him / directing a 16 year old’s study would feel really OTT for me. My parents never did either and I did well at school.

Whatever snacks your child likes. What stationery would your child like (highlighters? Post-it notes? Index cards? Coloured pens? Notebooks? Note flags?)

My DC is managing his own time and study. We are encouraging him to be independent. We have provided some scaffolding (snacks, fun outings to act as a distraction, a tutor, revision books etc) and left him to it as I don’t overwhelm and stress him out. Me doing revision with him would drive him potty. We tried in lockdown and ut did not go well. He will have to manage his time in life and this is one first times he will get to put this in practice.

I will ask

Currently I am having to drive to Tesco in my lunch hours to get lotus biscoff filled croissants for breakfast for exam days.

Loads, I sit with him at the kitchen table a lot (body doubling) and have been actively involved in practice / revision. I imagine he’ll be completely independent for A levels but needed parental support a lot for GCSEs. I think without us he’d be 2 grades lower at least