How can I support my Year 10 son with GCSE motivation?

[Sunriseview]

DS is in year 10, has never really liked school and the academics. He goes to school, and attend the private tutoring, he is a kind, sociable and well behaved child; but does very little work outside the school; he is also a bit drained after school so seem to need the time to chill/recharge.

Forcing has not worked, he has screen limits. He does not thrive on pressure but encouragement and support. He is happiest when he is not overloaded with stuff and can do things at his own pace.

I am suggesting going to the library a few days a week. Perhaps increasing the tutoring hours? He has a maths and science tutor.

Any ideas welcome.

Shamelessly following for some advice as you could have been describing my son, except he is year 9. He’s just not interested in school, can’t look ahead long term. To be honest, neither did I at that age!

How is he doing academically? Does he need to do more?

If he is compliant and working in school and doing OK I would chill TBH. I have three who have been through GCSEs and none of them did much and all did OK; they certainly didn't do anything in Y11 other than what school asked them to do (homework). DS did 30 minutes most days between Christmas and Easter of Y11 (then stopped); the others I don't think even did that.

A'levels are another kettle of fish entirely.

Does he actually need the tutor?
If he isn't "academic" what is his thing....music? sports? art? building things?

He does need the tutoring. Maths at his school is pretty rubbish I heard.

He needs 4 passed including English and Maths for next stage; not a lot but mocks have not been great. Going to college, not doing A levels.

I think that unfortunately you can’t force it. You can talk of what he wants to do next and encourage doing it now so he has freedom to make whatever choices he wants after. Ultimately if he doesn’t want to do it he won’t. My nephew had all the tutors and his mum sitting down with him but he didn’t really engage and didn’t do great. Best thing you can do is be predated for alternatives if it doesn’t go to plan. Help with job applications etc.

You've "heard" maths at his school is "pretty rubbish" - have you actually spoken to his maths teacher to see where he is at.
What does he plan to do at college?

When you say he does very little work outside school are you meaning he isn’t doing his homework or that he isn’t voluntarily doing extra work?

Motivation is a tricky thing. And at 15 this is going to come more from his peers than his parents. The biggest motivation my son had was seeing friends who previously did worse than him in tests, start to do better. It was a light bulb moment when he realised that doing some revision improved his results. We assume our kids know this because we tell them. Sadly not.

yes, totally agree with this.

Have to admit I was been very hands off; apart from providing the tutoring, ask him if he needs help with anything, providing food and emotional support. I was leaving school pretty much to him.

I will arrange a call with the English and Maths teachers.

Have conversations about options, wants and aims.
He’ll be going into year 11 and open evenings in colleges will be worth attending.
Research together so it feels collaborative.

I see so many student who are opting for courses, careers or apprenticeships that their parents want. Then attendance plummets. It has to be a choice towards something. It doesn’t really matter what. There’s always space to make and rectify mistakes once they figure out what they do want.

Is he passing with little effort? How much more effort does he think gives him a higher grade.

This is useful for tone and techniques.

www.growingagrownup.com/blog/what-motivates-young-people-it-may-not-be-what-you-expect

She’s written a book about this too.

Thank you

He is just getting a pass in most subjects but struggling with maths; he needs to do revision but I really do not know how to persuade him.

He wants to go to college but need a pass in English and Maths.

Gather the info when going to open days. Check websites of colleges. Let him process it. Hopefully once he sees that it’s achievable with a little effort it might kick start things.

Even a bad year 11 can be fixable. College will find the level for him and he’ll be able to redo maths and English language if required.

Thank you. I hope that is this the case as not sure DC is going to get the passes they need and I just want them to continue their education even if they have to resit English and Maths

It is expected at FE college. Current govt guidelines are that 16-17 year olds have to retake if they don’t have a grade 4 in English and maths.

And most courses have a level 1 or 2 version if grades are low. More important to figure out the what rather than the level.

its hard I know. But try not to show your frustration or panic. Try keeping steady. There are options. Lots of them.

Thank you ❤️