V low attendance due to illness - how do we manage GCSEs?

[TheMildManneredMilitant]

Hello all, I could really do with some ideas as don't know where to go.

Dd is in year 10 and massively struggling with school attendance. She's nauseous/exhausted most of the time but still nothing diagnosed. (We've had multiple blood tests, some things like low iron and vit d identified but not shifted even with treatment).

She's probably at 40% attendance for the year and now we're on an agreement with school to do an hour a day, with a view to building it back up. I don't see her getting better and don't think we're ever going to get to full days. We have some core work to do outside of that which she's completing, but there are whole subjects where she hasn't had a lesson for weeks.

She's really bright but must now be so far behind. We can supplement some work at home through oak academy and look at some tutors but I just feel so overwhelmed by it. Me and Dh work full time and can't be there to constantly teach/cajole her.

We've got mocks this week - if she can get in for them. That'll give us a baseline. But beyond that just don't know how to manage this.

Any ideas about how to get her through her gcses? Or anyone been in a similar position and can offer reassurance it will be ok eventually?

I’m in a similar position. DD has missed so much school this academic year, like yours, first GCSE year. She’s been wiped out by seizures and the medication to control seizures. Next week are her end of years - I have no real idea what she will get, but I guess at least we will have a better idea then. Or if she will be able to take all the exams next week!
She has already dropped a GCSE and moved to double not triple science to lessen workload and number of exams. We’re throwing the dice and changing her medication again but as she has to be slowly titrated up, it will be virtually the start of the autumn term before we can get her off her current meds and fully switched over. Which doesn’t leave much time to adjust before mocks if this one doesn’t work either.
I think in the end our kids are just on a different journey. They may have to take a different route. But surely they will get there!

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I haven't replied to everyone individually but I am making notes of your suggestions and appreciate your kind words.

I wish those of you who are in a similar situation the very best too, and it's heartening to hear stories where you've experienced similar and come out the other side. Logically I know this should not dictate the rest of her life but it helps to be reminded of that.

School should be helping with it. I have one with neutropenia and chronic fatigue, although his attendance hasn't gone as low as that. He is getting a bespoke timetable for his Year 10 exams so he doesn't do more than one a day. They're also looking at overnight supervision for GCSE so he doesn't have more than one a day. He also has rest breaks and 25% extra time (you have to do a test for that one but his chronic fatigue means his processing time is slower).

There's also arrangements for when he is off - work provided, etc. At this point I'd be talking to school about dropping GCSEs and only doing Maths, English and Science. It's hard to watch them go through it. We know our one will get much lower marks than he should (he is predicted 8s and 9s but is coming out lower than that in some subjects because of the time he misses and his illness and it really frustrates him).

Hope you manage to get some answers soon. Pushing through the fatigue will likely make it worse so be aware of that. Mine does it sometimes and he is worse the for days afterwards. He has a chronic fatigue specialist who helps him so you may be able to access something similar. She was great at talking to the school about what he needs. We're also paying for tutoring for some of the key subjects.

ME/CFS is also common witb ADHD and autism, as is Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. ME/CFS isn’t an official comorbiditity - however all tbe ME/CFS, autism and ADHD doctors I have spoken to about this think that it actually is but there little formal research.

If full-time education in any form isn’t appropriate, it can be possible to have a part-time education longer term.

What shouldn’t happen is a child shouldn’t receive a part time education long term if they could access a full-time education if it was in a different form/adjusted to their needs. For example, longer term, a child shouldn’t only have a part-time school timetable on its own if they could access a full-time education if AP was made as well/instead of part-time school attendance.

Not helpful to the original question (sorry!) but make sure she’s been tested for Addisons disease. Nausea was my main symptom and was put down to anxiety before I ended up seriously unwell.

I know lots of people are throwing different potential diagnoses at you but wanted to suggest you have a blood test for coeliac disease done. My son has it and was always tired and nauseous / being sick. It also leads to iron and vitamin deficiencies.

A reduced timetable and reduced subjects is definitely possible. They initially wanted it to be a phased reintroduction to full time but eventually they realised that getting 5/6 GCSEs at 4 and above was good enough.

This sounds like me at 16. Low vit d and low folic acid. Was eventually diagnosed with chronic fatigue by dr. I ended up seeing a homeopath as western medicine couldn't help me. Once I had diagnosis I was able to request extra time for exams. Had she been trsted for glandular fever also?

This sounds like me in at 16. Low vit D and folic acid. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. I ended up going to a homeopath as western medicine could not help me. Once I had the diagnosis I was able to request extra time to complete my exams as an adjustment. Has she been tested for glandular fever also?

Adding to the comments that a part time timetable and reduced number of subjects should absolutely be possible. DD had attendance which dropped from 70-80% in Y7 to 30% in Y11. She was on a part time timetable with a reduced number of GCSEs from Y8 (COVID) onwards, supported by our county's flexible learning team. It helped that I could take her to school late and pick her up early, so some days she'd start after morning break, some days she finished at lunchtime. She never went in first thing and might only do a couple of hours a day, if she went at all. I don't think she did any 'full' days. This was a long term arrangement from COVID until she finished secondary school. For GCSEs, she focused on the subjects she needed and dropped or ignored others. She is also bright so still came out with good grades that enabled her to move on to the next stage of education.

Have they checked for celiac? If not I would ask them to.

Haven't seen this in other comments as I've scrolled. Can you minimise her effort levels in travel ling to school - can you drop her off/ arrange for her to have a taxi so she can use her limited energy for learning and fun rather than lots of walking / standing around and waiting for buses?

Along similar lines she might get on with a powered wheelchair or scooter - secondary schools are usually quite big and minimising the effort for her in moving from classroom to classroom might help. As she can walk it doesn't matter too much if the site isn't step free - she can use the wheelchair in the places where it works and walk in the other places.

OP try not to panic. GCSE's at school, as pp have said, are not the be-all and end-all. I spent 13 years teaching adult ed to people aged 17-70 taking at first O level and later GCSE English language. They were in that class by definition because they had not accomplished it at school. Smaller group and personal voting-with-your-wallet meant virtually everybody got a decent grade. My own DS1 who failed Maths at GCSE got a pass when he did it through a standard local authority adult ed class.

A friend of mine had a child who was not ill but had school refusal from some time in Y10 and left at 16 with no grades in anything. He worked in a bike shop for a while, then got interested in electricity and did some courses of his choice and now works as a lighting technician at a film studio and is a happily married man with a family.

When you're in the throes of dealing with this issue it's easy to envision all sorts of awful consequences for not doing the accepted thing, but there are plenty of alternatives later when often the child is physically and emotionally more ready in adulthood to engage with them.

Sounds similar to my girl, Yr10 diagnosed ADHD (inattentive) and suggested ASD,currently on 43%, she's on a reduced timetable doing 2-3 lessons a day, mostly the ones she can attend, we are now just focusing on the GCSE's she needs to get into college, we're doing Maths. English, Art, Drama & RE, not bothering with anything else, she's missed too much science to catch up with that and won't need it for what she wants to do. I will ask school to only put her forward for those exams.
She has a place in the school attached SEND Link unit and attends the lessons that she can or stays there if not, we are trying to build up to all those lessons above. She's recently had a blood test and was low in iron and Vit D so taking suppliments for those which is helping the tiredness and also started Fluoxetine a couple of months ago (we got it through GP but I know it's hard to get) that's really helped her mood and anxiety (anxiety is her worst issue).
My older girl is tutoring her in Maths at home to help there, the rest we are hoping she can do enough to get through them, she enjoys her Art and Drama so hoping those should be ok, mine will often do more Art when she is in the Link which helps there.
I would say to just keep talking to school and push as much as you can for more support but at the end of the day she can only do what she can do.

My son had a similar level of attendance due to ill health, he dropped some subjects and had a tutor for maths. He did ok but for some exams was barely able to stand, sadly only support offered was option to take a break during the exam.

Perhaps not the same advice others are giving, but I'd say choose a few key GCSEs that she (and your family) are committed to her completing entirely AT HOME. So even if she doesn't make it to school for any lessons, she's covered the full syllabus, done some practice tests, revised etc AT HOME. I'd suggest maths and English should be amongst these, and perhaps core science and one other, if it sounds manageable - loads of resources online, CGP revision guides are a godsent for GCSE, BBC bitesize cover loads, and there's lots of YouTubers who do great videos for revision and learning resources.
Get the exam boards from the school, get syllabuses printed and start working through them with her through the summer. If you can do a private tutor, get that on the go asap, and if she's well enough, get a couple of 'mandatory work hours' in every day over the summer - few pages of a workbook, an online video lesson, or a few practice questions every day - she's got a year to catch up on by the sounds of it, and just about a year to do it in, so getting off the starting blocks with that will be crucial DO NOT WAIT TIL SEPTEMBER, especially if you don't think she's likely to get much better!

Then speak to school, and pick a couple of others where, if she's up to an hour or two a day, you'd try to have her make it in for those lessons, and the plan will be for her to sit those exams too. If she builds back up and is doing well, she can always then join for the stuff you're doing at home too, but maybe you should be planning as though that won't happen. The other subjects I'd try to have the school agree to drop entirely, with no plans for exams ect. If she ends up well enough to be in school for all lessons, then she could use that time for revision for upcoming exams, practice papers, or catch up work if needed.
Focus on what she needs for the next stage for her OR stuff she finds interesting and easy! (IMO, even tho she may not need RE, it's a reasonably easy pass, and usually an hour or two a week with minimal homework, versus something like fine art which is very time intensive and has lots of homework, so if she wants to go into STEM and needs 5 good passes, RE may be a better option for that). I'd say homework for the in school subjects should only be done after the at home subject work, so if she's limited energy those get priority.

Oh, OP, I feel for you. My DD didn't attend secondary school at all after the first 6 weeks, when she was diagnosed with glandular fever. This was 30+ years ago, and ME was only just being accepted as a legit illness by a very few doctors. Long, horrible story, and much not really relevant, but she eventually gained an honours degree from a top uni, retrained in a field different from her degree, and now works as a business analyst who is much valued by her company. I thought she would never get better after 5 years of being bedridden, but it did happen. All the very best, and keep the faith.

I could have written this post a year ago. We took our daughter out of year 10 as we could see her mental health worsening and school were putting pressure on her to increase her hours so we did a lot of research and deregistered her. She is sitting three GCSE’s this year and has a place in college in September. Things are gradually improving for her and we would do this all over again despite being unsure at the time. There is so much pressure around schooling and plenty of time to get GCSE’s. Please listen to your daughter and make a plan together. Wishing you luck x

My daughter was in a similar situation. Barely attended y10 & 11. Very fatigued and unwell all the time.
she was eventually diagnosed with coeliac disease and also diagnosed as autistic.
she dropped all option subjects and managed to pass English and science (still working on maths), but she’s now in 6th form and thriving.

When you look at it GCSEs are a ridiculous amount of work even if all else is ok. She's still so young and so focus on getting her as better as is possible which of course you are doing and reassure her the world won't stop spinning if she doesn't actually sit a single exam next year. My son scraped through and he's doing engineering at local college, they had diplomas you can get on with 4s or even 3s although the three involves a retake of maths/English but you only need one English so if lit or Lang is particularly stressful concentrate on the stronger one. School can also be such a stressful environment, there are post 16 options that might be easier although obviously you're dealing with baffling health issues - poor thing x And poor you!

Did you know that if you have missed it are expected to miss more than two weeks if school due to ill health the LA have a statutory duty to offer help? I'm sure she should qualify for some tutoring hours at home so look in to that in your area. Call your local sendiass for advice. Also speak to school about cutting subjects. My child is just sitting GCSEs , she has a few different conditions that mean chronic pain and fatigue and she's struggles all through high school for one reason or another. She cut her subjects to maths, English, science , music and drama even though she was still in school. Meant she had rest breaks, extra maths sessions to catch up, could complete homework in school and she's sitting less exams. They can be flexible. If it is any kind of burnout or chronic fatigue then pushing through will just make it worse so they need to arrange some kind of long term plan for her now. Please don't panic. It's not the be all and end all, she can't do well if she isn't well in herself . Getting her to her optimal health is the main thing, and she does what she can do school wise. Do contact sendiass and tour local LA though to see what help she is entitled to. You might be surprised.

We had a similar situation with my daughter. It transpired she was autistic, had been heavily masking and was in burnout. Eventually she was well enough to return to school. However she redid year10 and then year 11 by going to a private school. We were fortunate in that family were able to lend us the school fees. She ended up with 8 GCSEs. It was very difficult to navigate so I understand how you are feeling. Is there a possibility your child is neurodivergent?

If you don’t see her ever getting better is there any point doing GCSEs seeing as she won’t be able to work? Maybe she could sit her exams when/if she recovers.

Alternative provision should be provided as soon as it becomes clear 15 days will be missed rather than 2 weeks/10 days. These days don’t have to have already been missed or consecutive. And provision should begin by the sixth day of absence.

Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good but too many repeat the LA’ unlawful policies.