Moving from private primary to state secondary: experiences and thoughts?

[WhatsYourFlex]

Anyone gone from private primary to state secondary?

DC currently at small private primary. Generally happy, but hates traditional school work (writing, maths, spelling). In bottom sets. Very bright in terms of knowledge though and very interested in things / people / places etc . Creative and good imagination.

Very sporty and excels in stuff out of school (biking, horse riding, climbing, swimming). But hates the structure and regimental nature of traditional school sports eg Netball, hockey etc. As a result in the “C” teams despite being strong, fast and athletic.

I worry that the competitive / pushy nature of private education and always being bottom will gradually bring her down. Although she’s very happy-go-lucky at the moment.

Considering state secondary so she can be happily average if that makes sense?!

While we can afford the fees for private we’re not in money is no object category so given I’m thinking state secondary is going to be in the region of £300k, I’m wondering if we’re better off helping her out in other ways.

Any thoughts or experiences welcome

We did exactly this with my eldest (although we were forced due to almost losing our business during covid) and we are so relieved that our hand was forced. eldest DD was always in the botttom third of the class and academic private (and it would have got worse at secondary which was very selective for incomers joining in Y7). She joins the local (on paper distinctly average) secondary and has been average to top of the average her whole way through, gained lots of confidence, socially thrived with all kinds of different kids so it was the best thing wr’ve ever been forced to do. DD2 and DS1 we have now voluntarily sent there when we could have afforded private again due to recovery of business. Eldest is now taking GCSE’s and would she have got a grade higher in some subjects had she gone to the private? Possibly. Would it have been worth £300k? Absolutely not.

Honestly, you read all kinds of horror stories on here about state school but our experience has been of dedicated teachers and confidant kids. Yes there are trouble makers but they move on (and are a lesson in themselves to the other kids).

I’m pleased you’ve had a positive experience @Teeheehee1579 . Thank you for sharing.

This also worked out well for us.

DS attended an independent school from nursery to Y6. He was awarded a small 11+ scholarship, but we still decided that attending a comprehensive from Y7 was best. (We did consider leaving him at the Indy until the end of prep and joining the comp at Y9.)

There are so many variables when making these decisions. We are very fortunate in that a local comp is one of the best in the country (top 20 schools for GCSE results). At least a dozen other pupils joined in Y7 from the independent sector.

We used the money saved to build a sizeable extension that includes a games room with a pool table, dart board etc for teenage hangouts. Not paying school fees also enabled me to quit my high pressure job and get something part-time and local. This means I can be present in the tricky teenage years in a way that wouldn’t have been possible with my previous job.

As a PP said, we may have traded a few 9s for 8s, but DS is very happy and is looking forward to attending the selective sixth form at his school, along with the fantastic friends he has made there.

if you actively look, most (if not all) comprehensives offer excellence in all departments, you just need to seek it out. We have been delighted with the opportunities DS has had, but have also had to deal with some less than ideal situations.

Good luck.

We are in a similar boat considering the same move for the same reason. Mine is ND and doesn’t enjoy the constant pressure to do so many things at indie and the feeling of being average due to others being over achieving. Great school but possibly not the best fit for an average ND child. Interested in the answers of those who have gone down this path and found the benefits I’m hoping for.

Not paying school fees also enabled me to quit my high pressure job and get something part-time and local. This means I can be present in the tricky teenage years in a way that wouldn’t have been possible with my previous job

This is part of my thinking too @ReadEveryDay

@PlainSkyr My DC possibly ND too but no diagnosis (that’s another thread!)

No relevant experience but clicked on your thread out of interest. I think it sounds like a great idea. What's the benefit of private education if your DC comes out feeling bottom of the pile and frustrated with education? Moving into a more average (not meant in a negative way) environment sounds like it will give them more opportunities to shine and build confidence. Good luck!

DD2 struggled at prep school in maths and English, 11+ was an awful experience for us all. She got into an excellent state secondary so we decided to go that route and she has grown in confidence so much being in middle sets. She’s now in year 9

That’s great to hear @Thedogswhiskers

Sounds like a great decision, the most important thing is your child's confidence in themselves. If state school provides that more, it's definitely worth it