How can I support my daughter struggling with GCSE exam anxiety

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Hi - looking for any guidance please. DD1 in the midst of GCSEs and has come out of each exam utterly distraught, crying, a tearful hot mess. She’s very bright, predicted 7/8/9s and has always done very well, but in this exam setting it seems it’s all too much. She has done 4 exams so far and ran out of time on two and so not completed the paper and says her mind went totally blank on another.
We do not put any pressure on her, she has had a lot of guidance and support at home and school as well as time management chats and remembering to breathe and be calm. She is taking the dog out for walks in an evening and playing sport so is having breaks and is eating well, but it seems that already she is working herself up into a state. Any advice how to manage the next few weeks with her ?!

No advice but my dd2 is exactly the same. She had a total meltdown after her first exam which was drama which she doesn’t actually need/care about as much as most of her others. She’s snappy and tearful and generally awful. Doesn’t help that her twin sister is doing exams too and they are clashing awfully.

rest, space and cuddles work. Dd2 is very tactical so she does generally get calmed down by hugs - calms down her nervous system.

Didn’t want to read and run. I can only tell you what I’m doing with my very anxious child. Lots of love, praise, reassurance, much much more than normal. Sitting with her until she falls asleep. Little treats to cheer her up. Checking in with her, offering help. Fending off annoying siblings for her. Treating her with kid gloves. Not telling her off for anything. She needs nurturing for the next few weeks.

So far this is working for us. She’s coping better than I expected.

Really sorry to hear this. My daughter also has exam anxiety and has done since Y10.

On exam day I have been trying to get her to focus on what happens after the exam, literally what she will be up to that evening - what we’ll be watching on TV, what we’ll be eating etc. Just to reduce in some way, the importance of her exams and make them seem less important than other things in life i.e. dinner and TV!

And now she’s done the revision, I also regularly downplay their importance. You don’t need amazing results, you’ve shown us that you can work hard and that’s so much more important than having top grades.

Does she write down the time she has per question on her page once she turns her page open? Some exams, it makes sense to do this and then tell her to aim to finish the longer questions 2 mins before end of time.

One other thing - I bought my DD those Bach rescue remedy sweets and they seem to be helping. She thinks they work - placebo or not. I tell her to take one a hour before her exam.

Good luck. It’s a huge amount of stress for these kids to bear. It really annoys me that they have so many papers and so much content to cover. No wonder there is so much exam angst.

Thanks so much for the advice - indeed we are trying to give lots of hugs and positive reassurance. Focussing on other plans is a good idea thank you - will try to suggest a fun pizza and tv night to think about.
Will also try the Bach rescue remedy too.
Appreciate the replies - good luck to you and yours too !

She may be putting a lot of pressure on herself. It’s tough when you’ve always done well, and no matter what your parents tell you, you still imagine their high expectations.
My son is also doing his GCSEs. First exam - ran out of time. 15 minutes to do half the paper.
Your daughter isn’t alone in finding it hard. Would it help her to know that the grades are based on how everyone does? So if everyone finds it hard, she’s still doing brilliantly!
i know you put no pressure on her, but emphasising that no matter what happens, there’s always plan B, plan C, plan D. There's always another route to the perfect job and you love her.

Hi. The pressure is so much, especially for those hoping to achieve higher grades.
It is definitely worth speaking to the school about her anxiety and how it has affected her exams so far. It may be that they can support her somehow.
We have had many tears from Dd (it will be a long 6 weeks) but the staff have been really supportive and check-in on her.

Lots of fun, relaxation, reassurance and TLC in between exams. Maybe the promise of a treat day out after exams for her to focus on?
I agree with downplaying their importance but only if that’s always been your approach. If you’ve talked a lot before about their importance I wouldn’t minimise them now because you’ll come across as disingenuous. It might be better to focus on what she could do if she doesn’t get the marks she wanted eg appeals, alternative plans.

My daughter was heading that way, I managed to pull it back by normalisation. Of course you are anxious about the exams, everyone will be. The trick is to channel that energy into locking in for the exam, then taking a short break, then focusing on for the next. We bought some gummies for DD too (vitamin ones) and she has one each morning. Also understanding mark schemes helped. She was very distressed by biology, for example, as she was only getting 40-50 percent on mocks, until I showed her that 46 percent has been a grade 6 recently, and grade 9 was only 68 percent. So the exams historically have skewed difficult.

My response has been hidden - I think because I mentioned vitamin gu mmies
That's annoying!

@Atleastthedoglikesme Sorry about that! We've reinstated the post for you.

Remind her it is not a big deal. Even if exam nerves mean she gets far lower grades than she hoped for, she is bright and will still do well enough to move onto A levels and uni, at which point her GCSE grades won't matter. And if she totally flunked, she can resit. There are always lots of different ways to move on in the world. This is just one of them.

Thanks so much everyone- am going to look at vitamins too and lots and lots of TLC …!

We are in a similar situation except my daughter has struggled with anxiety since year 9. Her attendance has been awful and about 44% right now but school understand her situation and have been a huge help. Might be a bit late now, but has the school made any allowances like smaller exam hall, extra time etc?
my dd was predicted 7s and 8s but we are now aiming for 4s. Each exam has ended in tears and she also just freezes and can’t complete the questions. There’s not a lot we can do other than provide reassurance and no additional pressure.

One thing that is really helping are sleep stories and meditations at bedtime. I have the Aura app and there is a particular lady called Jiva who’s voice works like a drug on both me and my dd. I don’t know if it’s her voice or pace but she knocks us both out within about 5 minutes so at the very least she is getting a decent amount of sleep.