Tips for staying composed during an online secondary school appeal

[Mummyspider27]

I’m worried about crying in my secondary school appeal, it’s online. Any tips to try and stop myself appreciated!! Every time I read it I get choked up xx

Is there someone else who could read it for you?

We do them in person, not online but I always take a box of tissues to put in front of parents - it's not unusual!
Don't worry, panellists are just ordinary people and it's the responsibility of the chair to put you at ease and reassure you. I usually move onto a different point if possible which is less distressing and come back to the bit that's upsetting later.

I have already said it’s only me as I had to notify them if I was bringing anyone else. I also feel I need to do it, it’s my responsibility to do this for my child. If I don’t win the appeal I don’t want to have any ‘what if’ thoughts xx

Thank you, that’s all good to know. The bit I cry is when I’m practicing presenting my case. There is so much emotion and stress wrapped into it. I just want to do my child justice xx

I assume you have already put in a written case? If so then the panel won’t want you to go through it all again, so you don’t do a full “presentation of your case” as such. They will most likely ask you to summarise your case, ask some questions about the points you have made, and ask if there is anything else you want to say that isn’t in the written case.

Please be aware that when appeals are unsuccessful this isn’t generally down to how well the case was presented. It’s usually just because the reasons weren’t strong enough, so wouldn’t have won even if they’d had the world’s best advocate presenting them. A lot will depend on how full / crowded the school is too. So if you aren’t successful please don’t blame yourself. Good luck.

I echo minipie

a general tip ahead of a nerve wracking event though, is superhero pose. Feet hip width apart, knees relaxed, hands on hips, shoulders back, chest and chin lifted. Breathe in and out slowly.

Thank you for this, my rational mind knows and agrees, my stressed irrational mind says different!!!

I have written a summary of my case to read to make sure I don’t miss any keys points. Same with a closing statement. That’s what I am struggling to read, my emotion takes over!! X

I would recommend reading it aloud multiple times a day. You might find at some point it gets easier to read without crying.

Just to add, what specifically is it that is upsetting and would talking about that here on MN help at all?

Thank you so much. It is online, but some really good advice xx

My plan is to read it over and over to desensitise my self!!
I think what upsets me is the sadness I feel for my child that they still don’t know their school place. They are unable to attend their allocated school regardless of the outcome of the appeal so the whole thing feels huge and so emotive. I want to do them justice. I feel it’s all on me. The uncertainty is horrendous xx

Do you have a back up plan? I don’t know your case of course but I do know the great majority of appeals are unsuccessful.

So I would advise any appealling parent to plan as if the appeal will fail and have a back up plan or two, rather than hanging all their hopes (and their child’s) on appeal. Then if the appeal does succeed it’s a bonus.

Sorry to be negative

Why can’t your child attend their allocated school? Depending on your reason, it might help your appeal if it’s not possible for dc to go there.

Have a word with the Clerk (the person on the Council who is setting the appeal up). They might be prepared to read your statement for you, or to find someone who will. Or you can have a friend/relative who will. But you need to be prepared to ask questions directly to other side when they put their case and also to respond to questions from the other side and from the panel. They tend to be quite reasonable questions, eg “Have you thought of … “, so try not to angst too much about it (easier said than done, I know).

It's a stressful time @Mummyspider27 . I went in online composed and was crying at the end. And I'm not a crier! I think it was a bit overwhelming.

I had intended to read a statement, but when the appeal hearing started the Panel said they'd read everything and only wanted 2 or 3 main points of summary and to only speak for a couple of minutes. So be prepared for them not wanting you to read a five minute statement.

If you can, speak from the heart rather than a script - ie "DC needs appeal school because of xyz. I spoke to allocated school and they only have abc." Have a glass of water and tissues to hand.

The nicest person on the call was the head of the appeal school!

Good luck. Such a painful process. I'm relieved it's over, and even though we were unsuccesful at least now we know and can move on. As they say, it's the hope that kills you!

Could you ask someone else to read it out loud and record them and they play the recording.

It’s ok, I know the stats, luckily my child doesn’t know much of what is happening, I am taking on the stress. I’m working on a back up plan, options are very limited 😢 x

Safeguarding reason. It’s the main basis of my appeal, I think (and hope!) I have all relevant evidence from outside parties x

Weirdly I feel ok about the questions (although scared as I don’t know what they will be!!!), it’s weirdly just the statement I wrote 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 have only got myself to blame there. Just so much on riding on it x

Thank you. I’m so sorry yours wasn’t successful.

I’m so worried my summary won’t cover the parts I need because I’ll fluff my words or miss something vital so that is why I have written something. I hope I am allowed to read it out but I will prepare myself for not.

Water and tissues is a great shout. I will do that.

It’s felt like the longest wait since 2nd March and seems I won’t get the results of my appeal until July which is sooo long away xx

I really want to be able to do it, I feel it’s important I do this for my child. I think I will be so disappointed with myself if I don’t x

I really don't think that recording a statement would work in this context.

I agree, I think it’s very important I read it x

It will be fine, I cried in ours and had to step out the room but managed to say what I wanted.

Kalms - two before bed, two with first cup of tea, good luck