GCSE help- motivation all gone!

[OldCat79]

My daughter has been hard to motivate for exam revision and I thought we had cracked it at Easter but she seems to have given up, says she knows she won’t get everything done in some subjects so there’s no point even doing practice papers. She’s says she thinks she’ll do fine but has excepted that she won’t get the grades she wanted at the start of the year but she has left it too late. She won’t follow a revision plan ( we have tried!) won’t follow suggestions of regular breaks and change in revision styles and I don’t know what to do next. There is no point getting mad as it won’t help and she is stubborn so that would make her do even less. She doesn’t have social media and she is pretty good at keeping her phone downstairs when working so I don’t think it’s distraction, more an inherent issue that she feels what’s the point.
she says it’s boring and who cared what you get at GCSE anyway and she’ll just start afresh for A levels.
I’ve tired calmly to support her and offer suggestions for changing things up. Nothing seems to get through.
she is capable but diagnosed a year ago with a processing problem but she has dealt well with extra time and done pretty well in mocks too.
has anyone else a similar issue with their teen?
im not sure how to navigate the next 5 weeks- it’s not forever but I know she will be disappointed with herself if she hasn’t tried once this stubbornness wears off.
Ive emphasised so many times that we are not pushing for grades as long as she tried her best. Its so frustrating

Do you have any friends in HR who could chat with her? Along the lines of if there r two candidates for one job sometimes GCSEs will sway it
also my husband works in a sixth form college and they don’t accept children with low gcse grades on a level courses, you could try phoning a college admissions adviser and asking what their criteria is. Even if your CV kid doesn’t revise more at least you can say I told you so when they can’t do the levels they wanted to. Does she realise the consequences of this?
sometimes you have to let them fail to succeed later… you could take her to an adult gcse English evening class and have them point out how much harder it is to do when older

Yes I agree, what A levels does she want to take? It’s not as simple as starting afresh; if she wants to take maths, science, MFL, they totally build on knowledge from GCSE. Even text and topic based subjects like English lit and history use skills from GCSE. Yes many sixth forms have min grade requirements- and taking A level science or French with a GCSE grade 5 will be a struggle.

Could she focus at this stage on a few key subjects? She needs maths, Eng lang, science ideally and then whatever she might study post 16. Would that help reduce the overwhelm? I do recognise that and see it in my DD.

shes quite bright and I think she’ll
pass them all but with maybe getting 6’s when I know she could get 8/9s. It’s the sciences she hates and she’s doing French geog and business A level
I’ll try and get a friend who teaches in a 6th form college to talk to her- she
probably go mad🙄

What will she get in French? French A level with anything less than a grade 7 is not a good idea (MFL is my subject) – not to be annoying, but because your verbs and tenses plus basic GCSE vocab need to be secure before you start A level (as the work will just build on that) and if they are secure, you will be gaining at least a grade 7.

Thanks for replies. She did well in her French mock 8 I think and teachers encouraged her to do French.
its not so much advice on A levels I need more tips on how to get her motivated to revise! Its mainly for the sciences I run the risk of making things worse if I tell her “ you need to do well to get accepted at 6th form” She knows that.

I know I can’t be alone. I don’t know if there’s much more I can do other than be consistent and try not to lose my temper and hope to God she doesn’t completely flunk the sciences. I guess part of me is just really disappointed in her attitude.

I was the same at school and now my daughter is similar too, pushing just creates avoidance. I think you're in a difficult position and it's tricky to witness, I feel it at times too. As long as she can get the grades to continue with A-Levels I wouldn't worry too much. We're teachers and can't motivate our own kid lol! Is there anything that motivates her? A way in?

Honestly I think it’s probably best just to step back. It sounds as though she’s going to do fine, ok not as well as she could do with more work but I don’t think that’s something you’re going to be able to change from outside as a mum. It comes from internal motivation and if she doesn’t have it, it’s hard to get that from the outside. She might do better than you think if she remembers all her mocks revision. It’s very hard as parents at this stage but time to step back and let them make their own mistakes, and decisions even if those seem pretty big ones.

This is my thoughts too. You said it better than I could. I was the same as a teen and my parents were disappointed that I didn't do as well as predicted but it was too much for me to revise. I did well and it really doesn't matter what my GCSE results are now.

I'm up and down with my own daughter as she's at risk of failing and having to do resits but I know it's all her own intrinsic motivation that gets her going and my pressure has the opposite effect. She's also battled Ill health and we didn't know if she'd ever get back to education so I'm trying to see the bigger picture. I think the external pressure all around us can make us panic! It's all life lessons and they'll find their own way, I'm sure!

Honestly, I'd take a step back and let her crack on with it. It sounds like she's going to get what she needs to carry on to her next step, anything more than this is a bonus. They have spent so long on this material at this stage, they're fed up and just want to get the exams done and move on.

I would move to bribery. What is she motivated by? Sweets, Smiggle, whatever daft stuff will hook her. Get her to make a reward chart for herself so she can start earning prizes. These 5 weeks can make a big difference, so be her external motivation.

I have a Yr11 too. He had a bit of a meltdown last night (he has ASD) as he felt so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of content they're expected to know. I can easily see how it feels so impossible to cover everything that you can think 'well what's the point in even doing anything?'. It's also true that it's a small percentage of what they've learned that even comes up in some of the exams. None of this is helpful to you though!

If she's been getting good grades in her mocks then she probably knows much more than she thinks she does anyway.

We're not even looking at any subjects that are after half term to try and make it feel a bit less overwhelming. So eg we're not even touching physics (my DS isn't planning on taking it for A level).
You could suggest she watches some videos for science (we love Mr Free Science Guy). Each video is under 5 minutes so that might work?

It may be that as the exams start, she discovers that it's worth doing a bit of last minute revision?

As others have said though, ultimately it's down to her at this stage. I do think that sitting such high stakes exams at aged 15/16 is really hard for kids. It may be that she learns from this and will obviously be two years older and more mature when she takes her A levels.

Ime the motivation has to come from them. Otherwise it’s just a miserable time for everyone in the house.

Our dc are polar opposites. Dc1 did what he needed to get onto his chosen college course and is now thriving as an apprentice. I’ve got no doubt that he could have got higher grades at GCSE with more effort but there we go!

ds2 is extremely motivated and organised. Not accepting anything other than the highest grades at every step of his education.

We’ve not done anything different. They went to the same schools. They’re just different personalities

Both of their successes have been equally celebrated.

I think they feel daunted by papers sometimes. I speak from experience of two children having already gone through GCSEs! Neither revised anywhere near as much as they should have done, both did well but could have done better. One of mine in particular hates being told what to do, or even having something suggested to him!
For the exam he dreaded the most, he watched a lot of videos with tips prior to the exam and did get a higher grade, but that was English Literature, so I don't know if it applies to the sciences. He's now doing A Levels and the same issues over revision are occurring, with more at stake!
Perhaps just pick a few questions from a science paper here rather than do a whole paper? If she gets the results she needs for the next step then it doesn't really matter if she falls short on a couple.

You’re very, very far from alone, if that helps!

But I agree it’s best to leave her to it now. My daughter was the same as yours and just didn’t have that internal motivation. Nothing I did could ever have given her that. Luckily she got what she needed for A levels, and once she decided on a vocational uni course, the internal motivation fired her like nothing I’ve ever seen. She revised like a demon, and got top A level grades.

GCSEs aren’t really ‘high stakes’. Of course you’d like your kids to show their ability, and maths and English need to be passed if at all possible. But perspective is important. As long as they get the minimum grades for their next stage, GCSE grades will largely be memory-holed after that.

Trying to force motivation on teens will only add to everyone’s stress levels and impact your relationship negatively. Ironically taking all pressure off might conversely increase her work ethic.

I used 'high stakes' to mean that specific grades are required to move on to level 3 courses and if those grades aren't achieved then some Post 16 settings may not allow entry.
My DC needs 7's in some GCSE subjects for his post-16 choices which does make it feel very pressured for him.
There are other DC who will need 4s/5s in order to take up various college/training offers.
Of course whatever happens, hopefully our DC will find the right pathways for them and it's true that in a few years, their GCSEs grades will become less relevant.
Speaking to friends who were educated in EU countries or the US, they don't seem to have the same system of final exams in many subjects at aged 15/16.

Poor kid. So much pressure at such a young age. I will be happy with the 6s

I’m glad you said this @Toomanyminifigs. we are the same here. Completely overwhelmed so only concentrating on paper 1 so far, but worried it’s going to be a hard slog in half term. I’m planning each day at the moment to try and help her and she seems quite receptive. By breaking it in small manageable topics she finds it easier. So for example I suggested she watched a video on photosynthesis. Then found various exam questions on photosynthesis for her to do. If I just suggested she revised biology she would jump from topic to topic and learn very little. This morning she looked at poetry and I suggested she did a mind map of one poem. It’s pretty exhausting trying to micro manage but hoping it might help on the run up.

Is she willing to do things if you sit with her?

I think the key thing to stress is you don't need to know everything. That's not a reason not to try. Forget what is past and what could have been, thinking about that gets us nowhere. We are here now, at this point, and there's still time. We might as well do the what we can from this point.
This sort of discussion might work to motivate some, but not all teenagers. You can only try your best.
Ultimately, learning/revising one new thing is good - that's one extra nugget of knowledge to help you in the exam.
Tackle this kindly and encourage positivity about every extra topic studied.

If she's willing to work with you, a good strategy can be to complete a timed paper, and then pick out one or two things to work on (eg one topic where marks were lost) do some focused revision on this topic (watch a video online and try some practice exam qs) and then do another timed paper and repeat. Hopefully, after a few gos of this she will see her score improve and realise that improvement is possible even if she can't cram everything.
It doesn't have to be a whole timed paper - even half a paper (half the marks and time for half the time).

If she can get 6s in sciences without revision and she doesn't want to take sciences at A-level I would let her drop science revision to two past papers a week or something. (Maybe mark them for her? Then go over things she got wrong, but I think that's enough.) In my (unqualified) opinion it's OK to have a spiky GCSE profile. I'm pretty relaxed about grades though.

I think French you can't really cram at short notice anyway (correct me if I'm wrong @clary) - I think that grade will most reflect how much work she has done over the last two years and she did great in mocks so I wouldn't be too worried about that.

I would focus on English, maths, geography (since she wants to take that at A-level), French oral (if that is not done yet - can she practise that with you?) and subjects she enjoys.

Would she do 10 mins a day?

10 mins of the subjects she likes, then 10 mins of one of the subjects she doesn't like?

I think you're pushing it too much and making her pull the other way. I told my DD to take a break over the bank holiday weekend, she's done enough, lets just have a nice stress free, revision free weekend; so she spent the entire weekend speaking French and throwing chemistry and history facts at me, that's when she wasn't in her dark room cramming. You can't revise for her, instead you can be the voice of calm, the moral support that reminds her to eat and rest. She can then take the role of student, she needs to be the one who tells you what's important and what she should focus on. You need to swap roles as that's the most healthy voice for you to be long term.

Also, I think the motivation may come back when doing past papers? At least that's how it was for me. I think the most difficult thing is starting. Once you've started, it's actually fine. Obviously, I don't know if that is the case for her too, but maybe bribe her to start and have a list for the day she can work with and check off. (Just move items to the next day and make that list a bit shorter if she doesn't manage to complete it.) Then short breaks with comfort food and on with it. (Long breaks for me cause the issue with getting started all over again, so I preferred short breaks.) Maybe break up revision with variety, so flash cards for the first session, past paper (different subject) for the next session, knowledge organiser (again different subject) for the next session, etc.

Hello. Teacher. Hums. They're just so done now. If your daughters school is anything like ours then it's been intense since the beginning of Y11. They're burned out.

Have you got access to Seneca or Quizlet? Maybe you can send her links. Check that you're using their native resources not ones produced by random teachers. I know Seneca is pretty good for science.

Reading your reply @OldCat79 I would say that it sounds as tho, yes, you will have to let her do it as she chooses; and also that a grade 8 in French is great.

Grade 6s in her other subjects is fine as long as she is not taking them further. She will never need more than a 6 in maths, English or science if her A levels are French, geog and business.

I agree with @SoftIce that by now, she knows what she knows with the French anyway (and tbh with most other subjects).

What grades does she actually need for sixth form and what is she likely to achieve? Is it one of the sixth forms I read about on MN (never come across one IRL) where students need 8 x grade 7s? If so then she needs a plan B, that’s all.

Please don't show your disappointment. Offer support and any help you can give but if she just wants it done now, well I hear that.

Really feel for you reading this and you're definitely not alone/

The like what's the point if I can't do everything mindset is actually really common with bright kids who have processing difficulties. The bar they set for themselves is all or nothing, so when all feels impossible they choose nothing. The reframe that sometimes helps is you don't need to cover everything, you need to cover the right things. Even an hour on the highest yield topics per subject moves the needle more than she thinks.

The suggestion upthread about micro-managing topics rather than subjects is genuinely solid. like say "Revise biology" now that's paralysing. "Watch one Freesciencelessons video on photosynthesis then do three questions on it" is manageable. Tiny specific tasks remove the overwhelm that's probably driving the shutdown.

On the sciences specifically since that's the main worry if she's getting 6s without revision, a small amount of focused past paper work could realistically push that to 7s which matters for sixth form entry. Past papers are actually less overwhelming than revision because they feel finite; one paper, done. Kingsbridge Education* *worth suggesting as alternatives to traditional revision sometimes a fresh resource clicks when everything else feels stale; lots of well reviewed extra practice.

The advice to step back and remove pressure is probably right though. At this stage your relationship with her matters more than her science grades. She sounds capable enough to land on her feet :)