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Secondary education

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Advice on support for daughter struggling with bullying and school refusal

5 replies

Mumma3teens · 26/04/2026 20:35

Hi everyone, I really need some advice because I feel completely stuck.
My 14-year-old daughter has struggled with secondary school from the start. She has severe dyslexia and possibly ADHD, but we haven’t been able to get proper support in place that actually helps her. She’s also been on a waiting list for a school counsellor since June 2025, and for an ADHD assessment since then too, so we feel like we’re just stuck waiting with no real help in place.
On top of that, she’s being badly bullied by a group of girls both in school and on TikTok. It’s constant—comments, things being thrown at her in class, and ongoing online posts. She was also violently attacked by a group of 8 of them, and we did involve the police, but nothing has changed since. The school still doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously.
At the moment she’s on a reduced timetable (home Wednesday mornings and Thursday afternoons, plus access to a quiet room), but she’s refusing to go into English completely and hasn’t been since January. History and biology are very hit and miss. I can get her into school, but once she’s there, they can’t get her into lessons.
When she does go to class, she struggles to understand the work because of her reading level. She won’t ask for help because the girls bullying her are in those classes. She tries to cope, but between trying to follow the lesson and dealing with comments being made at her, she gets overwhelmed and ends up leaving—then she’s the one who gets into trouble.
I’ve had multiple meetings with the school, but I get very little communication from teachers. I don’t know how far behind she is or what I’m supposed to be doing to help her. It honestly feels like this whole school year has been a complete write-off.
At our last meeting, the educational psychologist suggested breathing exercises and said she needs to “push through” the anxiety, but that doesn’t feel like it’s addressing what’s actually happening.
I’m exhausted and don’t know what else to do. Has anyone been through something similar or have any advice on how to get proper support or get the school to take this seriously?
Thank you 💛 Scottish school if that helps

OP posts:
Dolphinnoises · 26/04/2026 20:38

Your poor DD. How would she feel about moving schools? Is that an option?

Mumma3teens · 26/04/2026 20:51

We have looked into it but other schools are so far out of zone she can't get a space or we can't physically get her there without moving which is just not possible.

OP posts:
BreakingBroken · 26/04/2026 20:52

Are you able to afford private dyslexia support and possible adhd assessment?

Jellyjellyonaplate · 29/04/2026 23:19

Your poor DD. Is it worth ringing other schools nearby? I think if it was me I would home school until a place came up

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