Starting Year 7 at school over two miles away, social concerns?

[Flamingphalanges]

DD is starting Y7 in September. Her school is just over two miles away and there's a cycle path most of the way there.

She's not a confident cyclist so we will need to work on this. Unfortunately there won't be any other kids cycling from our village - she's out of catchment but got in because she's in a priority group in the oversubscription criteria.

Am I being silly to be concerned about the distance? She's probably the furthest child allocated (haven't checked but previous distance allocated has been less than our distance) I know it's manageable to travel, but what about socially?

She's my eldest and I have no idea how things like 'playdates' work at secondary - will she be out of it as she lives in a different direction to the one others are travelling from. Does it matter?

When I was at school everyone went from the same primary to the same secondary and we all lived within spitting distance of the school, so it's hard to get my head around how it will work for her!

Two miles on a bike isn’t much. That’s barely ten minutes. Ideal there’s a cycle lane. I think she’ll be fine.

2 miles isn't far she will be fine. I lived 2 buses away from my school and I was the only one and this was before mobile phones and I still had a good group of friends I met up with all the time.

Thank you both that's good to hear

Yes I agree, two miles is not far. It's perfectly walkable tbh (35-40 mins even at a slow pace). My DC went to a secondary about three mins away from our house but they all had plenty of friends who lived two miles away and further, and there was plenty of social stuff, going out in town, going to each other's houses, meeting for coffee – not to mention the social possibilities in school itself (but happening after school or at lunch) such as school shows, choir and orchestra, sports teams, trips.

She's my eldest and I have no idea how things like 'playdates' work at secondary - will she be out of it as she lives in a different direction to the one others are travelling from. Does it matter?

They'll make their own arrangements. Where is the town centre/shopping centre in relation to where the school is and how easy will it be for her to get there? That's where they'll probably want to meet on a Saturday.

Our nearest school is over 2 miles away! Encourage your DD to keep up her local friendships with her primary school friends and be prepared to either do a lot of hosting of large groups of friends or be ferrying your DD a lot to other people’s houses. Or, if several of them are spread out, it might be that they just socialise online rather than in person. Also, decide what your boundaries are. So my DC are allowed to go to all of their core friend’s houses without letting me know, down the high street and, during the day, to the two main parks but, if they go to someone else’s house or go to the leisure centre (on the edge of town) then I expect them to message me. They’re also expected to have Life360 on so that I can at least check whose house they are at. We spent a bit of time over the summer holidays at the end of Yr6 basically orientating them around the town so they knew how to get to from one place to another.

My mind is boggling at the idea that 2 miles away might be the furthest child.

Two miles is nothing; she'll get used to the cycle ride (or walk) pretty quickly and find somewhere central she can meet with friends.

The school is on the outskirts of a fairly big city and we are two miles further out than that. So say 4 miles from us to the city centre with the school half way.

I think that's what I'm worrying about, I don't want to be ferrying her around - I'm really happy to do it, I just want her to feel independent.

Our other option is a five minute walk from our house and she was really excited about being close by.

I'm struggling because the one further away is a much better school and the one most of her primary friends are attending.

It's a dilemma!

Haha I know, it does sound crazy - it's just the way it works in our city!

No need to be ferrying her about. That's what her bike and buses are for.

2 miles is nothing once rural and even in the suburbs, one of mine went 2 miles to school, the other 5 miles and neither travelled the furthest

You're right. I'm probably overthinking it as she hasn't had to do that yet! She isn't 11 until August and has taken a bit of a push to start going out and about by herself. She will grow up a lot once she starts, I know.

I feel like this is as much a transition for parents as kids!

My 6 year old dd is desperate to bike to school on her own and that’s over two miles away. I’ve said we'll bike in once the weather improves, together.

She’ll be going to high school 40 miles away when the time comes. Not sure she’ll be up for cycling that every day but I have no worries about friendships.

Secondary School transport is only available for journeys more than 3 miles.
I say this to point out that 3 miles is considered a reasonable length of journey for a secondary school student to make their own way there.

My DC had 1.5 miles to travel to junior school and were doing it on their own from year 5. So 2 miles at secondary school level wouldn't have even caused me to blink.
Perhaps think about building up journeys she makes on her own in the 6 months before she starts?

("outside school" is a popular hang out here - helped by the fact that there is a "park" - really a glorified patch of grass with some play equipment- right outside. It means students can congregate in a central location. There may well be some such area at your chosen school).

My son left for school at 7am to catch two buses. Many did the same, and many were local. They would loiter on the way home 😅 and kind of drop people off slowly, or would all catch the bus to town. Plus a lot of socialising is done online now, sad as that is.

I grew up rurally. Many people at my school were a lot more than 2 miles away. If I stayed at my friend's in town, we had a 40 minute walk to school,which is a similar distance. It will be fine.

2 miles as others have said, isn't far. As friendships are made, kids will make the effort to meet up if they want to. Having the bike to get around should make it a lot easier as well. I hope she gets plenty of opportunity to use it with new friendships at the school.

My daughter is starting year 7 in September and we're almost 30 miles away from the school. There are a number within 5 miles of us who will be attending the same school, plus some other groups through her out of school activities, so I'm sure she / we will find a way to make friendships work even with a bit of distance.

2 miles isn't too far at all as long as you're able and willing to provide transport when needed.

Lots of cycling practice as a family and on her own is a good summer project. Make sure she builds confidence around car traffic, in heavier pedestrian areas, and learns to properly secure her bike. As she gets more comfortable have her practice with her bookbag, too. That will help the bike provide some independence beyond the direct trip to and from school. And if you don't already have a good option for transporting her bicycle on your car I would look into that - that will create a lot more flexibility to combine a one-way cycling trip with a pickup after dark or in poor weather. One of the biggest shifts in secondary is how much more unfixed their schedules become.

Random note: my oldest always wore exercise shorts under her uniform skirt when she rode her bike to school. It's a good idea to have your DD try out her secondary uniform while biking towards the end of the summer and make sure it's comfortable and secure.

I was visiting a school yesterday where their catchment is up to 19 miles from the playground. 2 miles is not far.

Your situation sounds almost identical to ours, except that we live on the edge of the(big) city and the better school was in the next village 2 miles away.

Honestly, it was fine. What seems daunting at 11 quickly became normal and actually my 2 gained a lot of confidence by travelling a little to school. Their friends mostly lived close to the school but the same bus journey that got them to school, got them to friends houses and back.

Only time lifts (and later ubers) came into it was in sixth form when most parties were in the village and went on past the time of the last bus. When they went out in our city public transport was less of an issue.

It really isn’t. You choose the best school!

Thanks all. Yes, there are lots of places to hang out near the school and I see the kids there all the time, there's a park, playground and cafes and shops at the end of the road the school is on.

You have reassured me!

We live some distance from her primary school (4 miles) because we moved during the primary school years, so she has missed out on that independent school travel, I drive the kids every day. She's desperate to have that now, so she's upset not to be attending the secondary in our own village which is 500m from our house.

But.... It isn't the best school. In fact there's quite a lot of difference in outcomes. We're going to just go with the further one and build her resilience! Thanks for all your help!

So we put our DC in the local school as it was closer and we wanted them to have the independence and having travelled to their out of catchment primary school, I was conscious that sending them again to a school out of catchment would be tricky for them and would require us to do more support as the transport links weren't the best.

Do not underestimate how difficult the transition will be if your child is the only one locally attending the furthest school, particularly if all their primary school friends are at other schools.

My eldest adapted really well.
Youngest it was really hard for him.
Neither maintained friends from primary school.

Thank you for this perspective. The situation here is that we moved out of the catchment for their primary school. The secondary school in question is the one the primary feeds into, which is why we are further from it. So most of her friends are actually going to this school.

Were she to go to the close school in our village, she would be the only one from her primary school.

We shouldn't have got a place at the further secondary school living in our village, we only have the option because we carried on attending the feeder primary. Hope that makes sense!

The catchment for the further school actually stretches quite far in the other direction, so we won't be the furthest child, but we will almost certainly be the only one coming from this direction unless there are EHCP children, children of staff or those other priority groups.

@Flamingphalanges you need to be very on hand to support and maintain friendships, getting to and from school is just a small part of it. Will you be happy for her to hang out with friends after school biking home in the dark?

My DC went to the local school with a poor reputation, he came away with all high GCSE grades. The other is in school still. However some of their primary school friends left the better school, because it wasn't a great experience for them.

If she is desperate to attend the local school, I wouldn't discount it just because the outcomes are better.

Having been in your situation, we chose local and it was hard but I think going to the further school would not have been without challenges.