Move happy high achieving DD to more selective secondary school?

[Animalover]

Hello,

My daughter is very happy at her current school and has been there since she was four. She loves her friends and feels comfortable there. However, academically the environment is quite relaxed. She consistently achieves top grades and often finds the homework far too easy. She never study for exams and achieve top results.

Recently she received offers from more academically selective schools such as St Paul’s Girls School and City of London School for Girls. After attending the offer holders days, I couldn’t help feeling that she might be able to use her potential more fully in that kind of academic environment.

For context, the average CAT scores in her current class are around 110, whereas my daughter’s scores are 137 and 141. My main hesitation is that she has strong friendships built over many years. That said, she is naturally sociable and usually makes friends easily.

I suppose my question is whether children in this situation tend to miss their old environment very much, or whether they usually adapt quickly and thrive in the new academic setting. Has anyone experienced something similar?

Thank you.

@Randomtiringwalk she is in year 6 now!

Children adapt easily. Some change is no bad thing, especially if she makes friends easily.
I would be hesitant about a single sex school though. Have you applied for any co-ed?

@MeganM3 she prefers single sex - its her choice! Her current school is also all girls school

What does she want to do?

@Littletreefrog she loves her current school but she also loved opportunities and facilities in City of London Girls and St Pauls and she said she feels like she will regret it if she doesn't try as she wants to study medicine at Oxbridge - she also said she will want to move in 6th form if she stays in her current school as these school has better prep

If she's keen I wouldn't think twice.

Personally I would move her. For me, if I was paying school fees, it would be because I wanted academic excellence. It's up to you of course though.

If she is keen I think it's a no brainer really. Especially as she has said she thinks she will regret it if she doesn't go.

If she moves for Year 7 that is a natural time to move and I am sure she will make friends at the new school. I think kids can benefit from being taught with similar ability children as the pace will be right.

She says that her current school feels like a low-risk environment for her because she already knows the teachers, the students, and the overall atmosphere. She is currently the Head Girl at her school.

She recently had a meeting with the Head. The Head told her, “You consistently achieve full marks, which is excellent. Congratulations. If you stay with us, I’m confident you will continue in the same way.” And she asked her how she feels about this.

My daughter replied, “When I get full marks, sometimes I feel as though there is nothing left for me to learn. If I miss one or two questions, I know what my next step should be and what I need to work on. I like to keep challenging myself. Right now, even in French spelling, getting full marks without practising makes me think. I don’t believe that everyone who gets 100% necessarily has exactly the same knowledge or skills. I think there is always more to learn, even if it means moving on to the next level next term. When I succeed without really working for it, I feel as if I’m being a bit lazy. Currently, I don’t have a study routine because I feel there is nothing left for me to improve. Does that mean I’m a genius, or am I in the wrong place?“

I was shocked when she asked that question to the head 🫣

But head found her comments very mature and appreciated her perspective. She later sent us an email saying how impressed she was with her attitude.

It sounds like the current school aren’t meeting her needs and stretching her. She could really flourish at the new schools, it sounds like a no- brainer to me.
Im sure she will make new friends easily, and she can still stay in touch with the old ones. It’s a win-win situation.

I know… it will be really hard for her to leave not just the school, but also his friends and the community. She has fivevery close friends, and they’re all staying at the same school. It almost feels like they’re looking into our eyes, saying “you should stay too.” But they all did 11+ and they didnt get an offer from even less academic schools.-They didnt try CLGS and St Pauls. And they didnt get an offer thats why they are staying.

But we can’t really know what will happen. Maybe by senior year, they’ll all have different friends anyway, especially if they end up in different forms/classes.

Year 7 is a natural time to move. Your dd has excellent offers and no social difficulties so I don’t see why you wouldn’t move her? People change a lot over the next two years so it’s quite likely she won’t still have the same friends even if she stays at the school.

I’ve found that children staying at the same school from age 4 get quite restless around age 13/14. Far better to move IMO

Yes, true…
Maybe I feel like her current school is 0 risk as she is happy, high achiever student in local school but maybe in long term it will be risky for her.

She is in one of all girls school in SE London its G D S T -

Wouldn't you have already had to make the decision? I thought the deadlines for acceptance have passed.

I think def move her. If the school is too easy, she is not learning much and just coasting along.

@Springtoday yes we paid the deposit for CLGS but we still have almost a month to let out current G DS T school to know if my DD will move to seniors or not

Do you also still have the offer to SPGS? If yes, I would take that one. Perhaps have a discussion with your daughter after going through all the pros and cons and let her make the decision.

Friendships always change, so that should not be a factor in staying in the school. And if they are good enough friends, they can remain friends while not going to the same school.

One thing to think about is if your dd would be fine in a more academic environment. For example, mine loves exams and does not feel any pressure. In fact, she is too relaxed so I was hoping the more academic school would push her a bit. Ds, I was slightly worried because he is a little sensitive and I was not sure. Something told me to put him in the more academic school anyway (he had offers to other less academic schools like Emanuel, Dulwich). Anyway, he is thriving at the more academic school and loving the classes. They were both in primary before that and it did not really challenge them. They enjoyed it, but coasting along. Although, they both seem like they are still coasting along (but at least getting more challenging work!). Some dc put a lot of pressure on themselves and get stressed out in these more academic schools.

Didn’t you post this before

It not about academic reputation or friendship basis alone but GCSEs subject choices and how many they can take and how is it timetable) top set only for further Maths or give it a go for those able ( some schools don’t want league table impact for students getting 7 or 6 in further Maths only the top set would be taught for 9s). Sport options, drama and music and what is available and at what level are they open to all or just top performers from primary schools. The London secondary schools do vary with clubs or trips, extra co-curriculums choices.
A levels subjects, universities leavers going to study what and where eg. How some schools are Oxbridge but heavy on History/ Classics/ humanities basis others are sending more towards Engineering in Imperial, Bath or Bristol. US and European universities options, if that is important for your DC.

It sounds like your daughter would really enjoy a more challenging envoronment and is actually asking for that: especially if she’s sociable I’d say take the more selective place and see if she flies. If for any reason it didn’t work out I bet your old school would have her back like a shot. I moved to a more academic school and it was like someone had opened a window and let me out into a far more suitable place where I thrived.

(maybe lay off the Oxbridge medicine thing for a bit though: this child is 10/11 and it should be up to her what she does later, not what you aspire for her. if she really wants that she’ll aim for it without needing to be told by parents that those unis and courses are the pinnacle of achievement. Move her to a place that can really give her a challenge, and see how she goes )

@Aethelfleda agree. Also, you need a school environment that encourage that learning in your peers so you are in a bigger group not just 2 or 3 applying for medicine academic pathway but double digits. Teachers have more experience and can help not just parents or familial exposure.

Well, all kids ultimately sit the same GCSEs and A Levels, so she’ll undoubtedly get top grades in those if she stays at current school, based on your posts. I’d be looking at the other things the current school offers - friendships, pastoral care, creativity and enrichment (eg art, clubs, music, sports, drama productions etc) - to make your decision. And focus on how to nourish her love of learning outside school too.

I work in a non selective state school, lots of social deprivation and a massively mixed cohort in terms of literacy and ability, and the academic kids (of all backgrounds) still flourish and get amazing grades. I don’t believe they’d be better off in a hot-house private school environment. Some of them would probably burn out tbh.

It’s so individual for the child isn’t it: obviously OP knows her DD best. The fact that the child is “aceing everything with no work” just implies she’s not feeling challenged and if she’s genuinely voicing this to mum, it sounds like they both feel she’d be given more exciting/stimulating work in a more academic environment.
you’re right that she’d lose the “top of the tree” feeling by moving and that could be a bit unsettling if she’s always been the wonder child. But it’s the DD’s overt expression of wanting more that makes me suspect she’d enjoy a school change at this point (which is completely normal at this point: SPGS take from multiple places and it’s a standard in-point)