LEH or Tiffin girls

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DD has been offered a place at both schools. Looking for honest responses from parents of children already at school.

For Tiffin, we have a public bus which stops right outside our house but takes about 1 hour to get to Tiffin.

For LEH, DD would have to walk 10 minutes to a stop and use LEH coach service which would be much quicker to get her to school.

Financially, educating both kids in private would be significant chunk of our savings, but we have it saved up. Thought process is that no point in taking it to grave if it can be used for making kids happy.

About DD, keen reader, we hardly prepared her for English. Got through both exams with 3 months of intense preparation. 1-3 hours a day.

As both DH and I have busy jobs, we have not been able to get her involved into many sports, music etc. Apart from Gymnastics on which she is super keen. Ideally, we would like secondary school to get her involved into many extra curricular. She self-doubts and needs to be pushed for these, would like school to do this.

During visit, from insignificant sample size of 3-5 girls in both schools, I found LEH girls to be lacking in confidence. Could be just the girls I came across. In comparison I found Tiffin girls to be very serious, driven but confident. None of the places looked fun tbh.

For DD, friendships are an issue in primary. This is most important factor for her. Don’t know anyone going to either of the schools. DD is also intimidated by the prospect of starting in Tiffin. Is it a rat race in either of the schools once in? Are parents too pushy?

look forward to responses, thanks!

It’s really up to whether you want to spend £250k over 7 years or not. She will almost certainly end up at the same uni via either school. Tiffin is harder to get into than LEH so she has done very well (and is not on the WL) so she will be fine academically and should not feel intimidated.
2 things you can think about are how to feel about losing the LEH deposit if you go for Tiffin and how to feel about giving up your Tiffin place and how happy that would make another family? Also uni is really expensive if you want to spend the money then instead and save on student loans etc.

Tiffin Girls. Absolutely. LEH does not compare

@BlueMoonIceCream Thankyou for your reply! Can you please give some more insight? About how you form that opinion?

Save the money and give it to her as a deposit on a property. Send her to Tiffins

Tiffin girls is 1 of the top state schools in the U.K. and is in the top 50 feeders to Oxbridge globally. LEH is an excellent private school with a large cohort from the junior school feeding through and a percentage who leave after year 11 to go to more academic private sixth forms. Each year several of LEH juniors go to tiffin instead of LEH seniors. Have you read the Ofsted report on the Tiffin website that was published last week? Your dd will do well at both schools, it comes down to the cost etc.

Thanks @hockeyfun ! I had not read the very latest Ofsted report. Much appreciated!

Can I ask if you have children in any of the schools and have personal experience to share? My daughter does not enjoy competition much. She is creative, fun kid. I am trying to find best fit for her.

I live locally and am very familiar with all the schools in SW London via my dc and work. I can assure you the competitiveness will be at both schools but it’s coming from the parents and dd not the teachers at the schools - it’s in all the top private and grammar schools in the area. Your dd is obviously bright, where does she want to go? She will probably enjoy both and get the most of out of both so you need to take your gut reaction into account.

Thanks! DD has her heart set on LEH. Her main reasons are the everything that was sold in open mornings - good catering, trip at the start of the school for building connections, and counselling sessions instead of detention in case home work is not done.

However, my gut reaction was that it was not a place where girls grow confident. While walking through corridors, I thought teachers and students looked less slightly bored.

I live only 100 metres from LEH and know several employees there who chose not to send their own children or grandchildren to the school even with the discount they receive. They said all that it is not worth it. Furthermore, a neighbour of mine had one daughter at LEH and sent her younger daughter to Kingston Grammar instead. The sentiment regarding Hampton School for Boys is quite the opposite, however, as the staff there seem very positive about the school environment.
I also know three mothers whose children attended or are currently attending Tiffin Girls' School. While it is true that state schools are often underfunded, the management at Tiffin Girls is excellent, especially considering their limited resources.
That said, I personally would never choose a single-sex school for my child. I realise that is just my opinion and that others may have different perspectives and I fully appreciate it.

That’s super helpful, thankyou. Single sex is probably not my preference as well, but nothing is perfect I think!

I keep hearing the sentiment that Hampton Boys is different from LEH and even said between the lines that it is somehow better. But, how so? What is it that people don’t like about LEH? Why did the neighbour move younger child to KGS?

Would love to hear more insights. Even if it’s just grapevine.

We previously had a similar dilemma with a different independent school, which we have chosen and not looked back.
My child enjoys a highly academic peer group but also benefits from a really rounded education. Music and sports are top notch, and there are so many things happening during the school day. Lots of enrichment happening every week as a form group, girls do a variety of sports (including swimming) during PE and in clubs with lots of opportunities for fixtures, termly music ensembles and solo concerts to show off what they practiced, actually doing something fun and relevant in food tech and DT. We are working parents and I wouldn't be able to outsource the rounded experience elsewhere, because I wouldn't even know what kind of things I could offer her. It is greatly nuanced and imbedded in their day to day. For this reason, I probably can't comment on what a Tiffin girls' day to day looks like.
It's easy to converse with the school with any concerns I have, small or big. I've been getting quite detailed feedback about my DD's progress and noticed the specialist tutors understand my child well.

Tiffin girls will have a great peer group and an invested parent body but that's pretty much it, it cannot provide much more than any other state school. The school does seem to be run in an outstanding manner and will have less distractions supporting disruptions in class. I do know parents of girls who are very happy they don't have to pay anything for such a great school. One thing I heard is that it is pretty strict, you get detentions for things that you probably wouldn't in a private setting (e.g. forgetting your lanyard).

I don't have direct experience of LEH but have heard positive feedback from friends. Do check on your gut feel and try to speak to some actual parents. I have not been to LEH for the open day but I heard girls are pretty competitive there too. I actually got the opposite impression of girls from Tiffin, perhaps because of the way the open day was run (it wasn't a two girls in pair showing around a small group, it was open classroom and standing around at posts to answer questions), that girls seemed more reserved. It's not easy to tell by observing a small group of girls.

Do you have other children?

DD school has a handful of girls from LEH juniors. I've met some of the parents who did say they would equally have been happy to keep them there.
Somehow I did also hear on multiple occasions, about how great Hampton is, often comparing it to LEH. There are many siblings attending both schools so parents talk about the two schools together. Maybe LEH being a girls' school kind of adds to the intensity that makes the experience not as great? Not sure.

I sent DM to you. I don't think it would be fair to write here she said, he said etc.

The key thing is that both are v good. But is one £200k better than the other?

Of course LEH has sold itself hard - they need to ‘win’ customers like your DC who also has a great state school offer. Yes, private schools have fab catering and other frills, but is the education itself £200k better? That’s the real Q. If the £200k is a drop in the ocean to you, fair enough to choose it….otherwise it’s not entirely rational when you have a highly coveted free option.

As others say, think what £200k could do for your DC in adult life or for yourselves in terms of early retirement etc. if you were facing a sink school as the state alternative I can see why you’d choose LEH, but you’re facing one of the very top state grammars.

In the end, I think the latent has to choose. Kids can have opinions and express them, but in the end you must choose. It can’t come down to them liking the food more or other spurious things. You get to choose because you’re the parent and are able to make a more informed choice.

Bear in mind, that in the very unlikely event that you don’t like Tiffin, there could well be a place at LEH part way through. The reverse is extremely extremely unlikely. Sixth Form also gives options to change.

hasnt the LEH deadline passed by now?

I think money is not drop in ocean to me, but not a stretch as well. It’s all saved up for 2 kids all the way to university and more to get them started in life. But we live humble life in a humble house with modest car for it.

I think quality of life is one of the main factors that I worry about.

It’s not black and white about where her quality of life will be better. Especially, considering commute with 2 bus changes for Tiffin compared to cushy coach to LEH with regulars to hang out with on the way. Although the late route from LEH does not come our way, so she would not be able to participate in extra curricular after school it seems.
:/

It’s a bit like driving to Rome versus flying first class to Rome. I think, eventually the outcome will be the same, but it’s about the journey. I may as well make journey nicer rather than take all that money to grave.

What I am trying to figure out really is if LEH is that first class journey, or just marketed to be so!

I do not want to be involved too much in tutoring her at home, or driving her to various classes as I have job in London from suburbs. Don’t have time for it. I want school to do everything. This is where it’s not super clear if LEH has an edge. I am getting mixed signals.

OP, when you say rat race do you mean hothouse? Both schools are highly selective and with that comes competitive parents and highly driven girls. You're perhaps questioning the culture of one school versus the other? I have friends with girls at both schools and there's no doubt they are both great options. But you said neither looked fun - my Tiffin friends were definitely not looking for fun at school and their girls are the type whose priorities will be to study study study - they worked hard to get in there after all. They don't socialise after school or do many clubs unless at lunchtime as they need to catch trains home. The LEH girls i know are both sporty and academic, with time at weekends spent playing lacross for the school. Many girls i know have loved Tiffin, others have found it tough (too many competitive girls vying for top marks etc and such a focus on academics - true of many highly selective schools).
As you said, it's about the journey not the outcome and it depends what fun means to you - your DD will i'm sure do well academically at either school. In literal terms I'd be looking at the easiest/shorter journey as traveling on early winter mornings is definitely not fun if it's a tricky journey.

Some parents share commuting to Tiffin girls

Hampton / LEH school bus cost is above £2k annually. Please check how long will take the journey. The busses are not allowed to crowd the streets and that is why they have staggered arrival. This translates to very early departures. It can easily be 1 h. Also, what if she stays longer at school e.g. for the afternoon club, team project. How is the LEH commute then . R70 bus, 111 bus or longer walk from station or 285 bus, R68

We have one extremely happy daughter at LEH and another starting in September. It’s a great school. Our experiences are only positive. Yes, a lot of clever kids but also well rounded ones. They are creative, sporty, musical etc… They work hard but have fun too. The families are down to earth.

However, you would need to know your options for getting back after school clubs if you can’t use the late bus. There will be some sport/drama/music at times after school.

OP, I understand what you mean. It’s something you can afford. And given that, if it gives you pleasure to spend your money on schooling to provide a smoother and nicer journey through school for your kids…why not.

And I get what you mean about the query about if LEH really provides so much more or if it is marketing.

Some of it certainly is marketing. Tiffin will do amazingly well in the very limited funds they have. But LEH will have vastly superior resourcing and that will be seen in shinier facilities, more text books, smaller classes, more flexible options at GCSE and A Level, probably more 1-2-1 support if needed and things like provision of counselling if needed etc etc. It will be a more comfy and consumer focused experience with you treated as the paying parent rather than someone lucky to have he place. Some people want to pay for that stuff. Others think it’s window dressing and not needed. Some of it depends on your child.

Re you wanting the school to do it all…well they will do more as you pay for it. But they won’t do it all. Kids who do best at any school have invovled parents. LEH will run lots of sport and extra curriculars. You would need to expect to be doing the drive for late night pick-ups. If the bus doesn’t go your way after extra curriculars, that’s a real problem in my view….because being able to fully participate in after school stuff is a key part of what you’re paying for and what sets the experience apart from state school.

I had a friend who paid for independent school. Her view was that her kids had to be invovled in music and sport at school until the end of yr 11. They could have had an excellent academic experience at the nearby v good state school, but it was these wider experiences which set the independent apart, and she was only prepared to pay for it if the kids accessed what was available. Seemed reasonable to me. But it also invovled them as parents in lots of driving, attending sports matches to support etc etc. Most independent school families are invovled. They have high powered Jon’s but they are often pretty flexible, so they can get to an afternoon match if they want to. Parents do regularly drive the hour to pick up at 10pm after. A late night drama rehearsal or attending a lecture series. It’s all part of it. The school provides the stuff, but you have to facilitate involvement. If you can’t, Boarding is the option that provides it all…but that’s a different thing again.

I’d say the cosy coach feel very attractive for the 11 year old. It is safe and reassuring to you. But you’d be surprised how quickly they adapt to public transport and also the benefits when they’re older if the independence and flexibility that public transport gives. There are often multiple ways home, flexibility about timings and a level of independence that can be so useful for a 15 year old. But you’ll still need to expect to drive more regularly to school than you think, for the myriad of evening events and other stuff.

Good luck in choosing. You’re in a fortunate position and whatever you choose will be a great education.

Congrats to your daughters. I think most parents would choose Tiffin instead of LEH. However, if it’s St Paul girl vs Tiffin, most of people go SPG.

I understand school coach look like an easy option, but it is so easy to miss coach with clubs and events. So public transport might be the way you need to consider.

I have an impression that your dd is excellent in English but not so in Maths. Tiffin is strong in STEM and probably LEH as a private school good at Humanites. So I guess your dd is more likely to thrive in LEH.

Not a very recent experience but a friend went around tiffin with his daughter and they asked the girls if there was one thing they could change and the responses were they didn’t like how competitive it was amongst peers. Very dog eat dog. The girl ended up going to Alleyns. My more recent experience when I visited was some of the girls and the teacher I met came across as quite arrogant when quite frankly there is no need for them to be like this. The LEH girls I know are confident and more well rounded. The alumni network is strong with lots of mentoring. Good luck with the path you decide to take.

OP, please be careful with advice from a generic account like "User-xxxx." Calling 11-year-olds "dog eat dog" is a massive stretch and sounds like a bad TV script. It is pretty arrogant of this person to judge top students and teachers based on a "friend's" story that barely sounds believable.
The real motive here is obvious: they are trying to put people off Tiffin just to shorten the waiting list for themselves. It is classic fear-mongering and sour grapes. Don't let someone hiding behind a user-number sway your decision!

Thanks, I just asked the school their extra curricular timetable and there are many activities in there which she would like to join after school.

Quite annoyed with myself for noticing earlier that they have limited coach routes.

Can I ask how your DC manages to return? And what’s the norm around?

Errrr no.