15 year old saying might not sit one GCSE

[Tryingmybest34]

15 year old (year 11) saying might not sit higher maths.

Says no point if he fail it anyway so why bother.

He not thick. Hes predicted decent grades in others. Just maths he says cant do it at higher and wont sit foundation because says thats embarrassing.

Mocks were not terrible. Not amazing but not disaster either.

I dont know if this normal before GCSEs or if Im ignoring something bigger.

His dad says leave him. Says boys say things and still turn up on day.

But feels wrong to just leave it. Feels like if I dont push Im failing him. Then if I push too much Im making it worse.

He shuts down if I try talk properly. Says Im stressing him out.

Im not trying to stress him. Just want him to try.

Anyone else had this in March of year 11.

Matter of factly tell him - If he doesn’t take either he will fail. Most jobs and follow on education require level 2 Maths(such as gcse grade 4 or above) or to resit. Resitting and not progressing would be more embarrassing as he is capable of passing. So what is his plan instead?

If it was a different subject I'd say fine, no worries. But he really needs a 4 in maths and English to do anything these days. Can you talk to him about what he wants to do next year / as a job in future? Then look up what he needs for that and show him.

I'd get to the bottom of why he thinks sitting the foundation paper would be embarrassing. Does he know that people won't see which paper he sat in the future, only the grade?

Tutor so hes more comfortable with higher.
when is the decision made?

Or bribe him to take F papers.

I initially read your post as meaning further maths but now realise you mean that he doesn’t want to take maths at all because he refuses to do the foundation paper and the higher paper is too hard? In which case he has a very real natural consequence coming his way, in that he will have to resit maths at college- not just the exam but the whole term or two of maths lessons. And it will also affect the course he can do next year - most colleges will have restrictions on the level 3 course you can do without maths. So I think you don’t have to take a strict or persuading role here- it’s just about stating the natural consequences and offering support if he’d rather give maths a go now. It sounds as though he is doing the behaviour that a lot of teens do, which is ‘I’m not going to even try because then I will have an easy reason why I failed rather than try hard and have to explain that I tried my best and still failed’. It’s very hard to accept at that age that you can try your best and still fail- it’s a huge knock on your self worth but unfortunately a lesson that every adult has to learn at some point. Having supportive and encouraging parents helps to show him that his value is not in academic success and that you are there for him at the end of it whatever grade he gets.

Some things are non negotiable. This is one of them.

How is a foundation paper more embarrassing than failing?

What did he get in his last mock? I would speak to school. If he doesn’t need maths for his next stage he should sit the foundation paper and get a 5. I think school need to decide by Easter which papers students are sitting.

Not sitting maths at all is more embarrassing than sitting foundation. He won't be able to enrol on any future course or get a job without resitting it or at least some sort of key skills in maths at some point so may as well get it done now.

Not sitting it could screw him up big time.

Some places will take him for level 3 courses with a grade 3 in maths, but with no grade at all he would likely need to do a level 2 course.

Be careful how you approach it because ideally he would have maths GCSE at some point but the danger is the more pressure you put on him the more it will increase his anxiety and he’ll shut down as it becomes even more scary to think about.
My ADHD son has perfectionism and it affected how he approached his GCSEs and I think I made it worse by lecturing him about how important they were.
I found it helpful to research a bit about perfectionism and read it to him and he did then recognise the feelings which gave us a starting point. We could then try and break it down into manageable action - let’s just revise and not make any big decisions now; if he failed it could be re-sat the next year etc.

Who except him would really know what he took. But no maths gcse in my area means no 6th form college / have yk do it in year 12

Refusing to sit foundation is daft. If he is really so likely to fail higher, why on earth has the school not insisted on foundation anyway?!

One of mine did GCSE higher maths. It’s optional. It doesn’t count for much, just gives you a head start on A level maths. There is no point sitting the higher maths GCSE unless you plan to take A level maths.

Who has made him feel like it’s embarrassing not to do higher maths? That’s what I would address. He needs to take the regular GCSE in maths. If he thinks he’d not do well on that too, then get him a tutor.

I think you're confusing higher maths with further maths. Higher is just the normal maths gcse but for the students who are capable of getting a high grade. Those who are likely to get lower grades are entered for the foundation tier rather than the higher tier. Further maths is a separate, additional GCSE with more advanced content.

@Tryingmybest34 what grade did he get in the mock? If he didn’t pass he either needs some tutoring/help (and it’s getting very close to exams - realistically he might go up one grade now but not several) or to sit the foundation paper - it’s easier to get a 4-5 on foundation than higher. Realistically a 4 will allow him to progress to most tbh I he he might want to do next and not having that 4 will really hold him back, so not even attempting it can’t be an option. What do school say? It’s not embarrassing to sit foundation - nobody will care once he has jumped that hurdle of a ‘pass in maths’ and moved on to the next thing.

Yes I did mix them up. Apologies,

DS was like this last year, after scraping a 4 in his Christmas mocks. We dug derp and paid for some tutoring to boost his confidence if nothing else. He ended up sitting the Higher paper, with a great result.

Could you stretch to some tutoring?

Now might not be the time to broach this, but if he doesn't pass naths, it is one subject (English being the other) that will need to be resat whatever ge does next - 6th form, apprenticeships etc all require a pass in maths.