The 11+ process for independent schools: is there a better way?

[IsThisRealLife]

Just: that.

My DC has offers to our preferred schools. I am grateful for that. And: deeply so.

As a result, part of me just wants to put the 11+ behind me - to focus on the 'broad, sunlit uplands' (as it were).

Still: cannot, in good conscience, fail to flag my belief that the process was more brutal, on many levels, than it needed to be.

I might be an outlier; would appreciate the thinking of others.

Ultimately, I hold out hope that the thinking of parents on the other side of the admissions process might incline powerful schools to recognise the need for change - and galvanise them to use their tremendous heft to help facilitate it.

Thus: this thread.

Again: might be alone in thinking this way. But: thought I'd throw it out there all the same.

Honestly, even in London I think the process is partly what you make it. We did not find it particularly stressful. State primary, though, and we did not know more than a few others applying to selective schools which may have helped in some ways.

We did a little bit of tutoring (six months, one hour a week, term time only) and applied to two schools because they were the only two we really liked. DD got offers from both and picked the one she liked best. I did get a bit nervous when we approached offers coming out but I honestly did try to make it as low stakes as possible for DD and although she was super happy that she got the school she liked best, she also did not seem remotely stressed out and in fact quite enjoyed the exams etc.

Of course we know that. We just want better for our children than being a potentially nameless face in a huge comprehensive which is under resourced and where teachers spend their lessons firefighting bad behaviour rather than teaching (my DC is in a state primary at the moment and this is our lived experience!) Entrance exams are the price the children have to pay to access an independent school. They can be tough on a 10yr old though.

Yes, there is a better way: schools assessing applicants on their consistent average performance average over the previous x years at school (CAT, NFER or whatever is decided as a standard) as opposed to a single exam point - and then the interviews to check fit, scholarship exams, etc…