re other family members choice of school

[maltloaf]

I know this will sound silly but I am really jealous of the fact that my brother in laws children will go to a really good school in a really nice area and we only have the choice between two average secondary schools not with great reputations. It is now all I think about and I feel because I chose to be a stay at home mom in the early years we are now paying the price because we could no afford to move. We could just about manage to get into the area now but I am not sure about seeing the brother in law and family all the time because we do not get on that well. Advice pls

TBH, I can't see the difference between a 'really good school' and an 'average' school. I've taught in both and you find the same kids and teachers in both. I think it is more down to parent perception.

Are you sure your brother in law isn't winding you up a bit about the school his children are going to? There is so much parental competitiveness, and if you don't get on well.....

thanks for your advice I know it is a good school because i used to work there about 10 years ago and it was my ambition to be able to move into the area but we just couldn't strech that far. the gcse camparisons in grade a-c are 71% as apposed to 41%. I suppose i just want everything perfect for my child but in the real world it doesn't work that way

My own feeling is that parental involvement can make a massive difference. DS is lucky in that his grammar school has 100% AtoC passes at GCSE and 99% at Alevel, but dh went to a succession of crap schools and still ended up with a 2.1 and a Masters because his mum expected him to do well and supported him all the way.

Just because your db's kids go to a very good school, doesn't necessarily mean they'll do better than yours.

41% sounds like pretty good odds to me if you think your child is in the top half of the class. Bit of a problem if he/she is struggling at school though.

However a comprehensive school will never get 100% of children passing as they take children of all abilities - a selective school will have filtered out the ones who won't do well.

Sorry if that's stating the obvious

maltloaf
are you sure you arn't feeling guilty rather than jealous?
The school that your family go to is neither here nor there really tbh.
You say you can't afford it because you were a SAHM - is that choice now worrying you. Because it really shouldn't.
You made the best choice for your family at the time. You did what worked for you and your children. You are looking at where you believe they have lost out by your being at home and forgetting the lovely things that you would have gained from that choice.

The choice to work or not is so very hard. There will be a happy bunch of people who are really happy with all their choices and life will be a dream. But for most of us you make the best choice you can and that will have pluses and minuses.
You made the best choices you could and your children are still going to go to a decent school.
Don't regret your time with them and don't worry about what other poeople are doing. You will just make yourself envious and cross. There will be many other SAHMs regretting their choices and many WOHMs doing exactly the same.
Let it go.