Grammar School v Private

[DonkeyKon]

My son had offers come through today from Latymer Upper, Hamptons and UCS. We are very proud of him.

Latymer Upper is our preferred private school and it's less than 1.5 miles door to door from our house (i.e. walk/bus/cycle).

We are waiting to hear from Tiffin Boys and obviously there is no guarantee that he will get in there.

If he doesn't get into Tiffin's, the choice is obvious but if he does get into Tiffin's, it will be more tricky.

We are 1 hour from Tiffins and it will be a case of public transport - tube then train.

We cannot move closer (having moved to current house just a few years ago).

He enjoys sports but they are not his strong point. He is academic and enjoys science / maths / history / etc...

If an offer from the grammar school comes, I am wondering what the right choice is. Particularly when looking at the destinations where leavers from both schools go - Tiffin seems to send more boys to Oxbridge / Imperial / UCL proportionately than Latymer.

If you can pay the fees go for private
For most families it's not that easy.

Congratulations @DonkeyKon great position to be in for your DS! All great schools. We also got offers today amongst others, from Kings College, Latymer, Hampton, KGS and awaiting Wilsons outcome as exams were passed. All are within 25mins journey from us except Wilsons which is 1 hour away. Our situations are similar! We are also confused on which way to go. I would be interested in any advice from parents in a similar situation over the last few years and why they decided to proceed with a particular offer. My additional question is with the wider GCSEs being dropped at Latymer and whether this figured in decision-making for anyone with Latymer offers over the last few years! Thanks (p.s. sorry for jumping on the back of your thread here @DonkeyKon )

We had the choice of Tiffin and LU and went for LU. Totally the right choice for DS who turns out is far more into Humanities than Sciences.
Journey much easier than to Tiffin.
We could afford the fees fairly easily though otherwise it may have been a harder decision. ( and it was a hard decision!).

I wouldn't worry too much about Universities- they will generally get to where they’re meant to! LU A level results look to be a bit better.

Agreed, have you added up the cost of the private school place for 7 years, it’s an immense amount of money esp if he isn’t going to make full use of the sports facilities, theatre etc.

Yes, cost must play a part. While we can afford the fees, £30K/year for 7 years is a lot of Money.

He enjoys sports and will make use of the facilities. Its just not his strong point.

And I do worry a bit about the dropping of GCSEs practically even through I agree with the theory.

I’d go to the offer holder events after half term and not overthink it until you know whether you’ve got a Tiffin place or not!

We are in a similar position, except we have a daughter so our choice is between Henrietta Barnet vs private

I think what private schools offer is the sparkling facilities and opportunities simply because they are richer.
Grammar schools do have bright children, but can look a bit tired because they’re not as well funded.
So I’d say if you can afford private, or get a bursary, go with that.

100 percent go for the closer school in this scenario. Your child being able to walk to a great school - that you can afford - end of conversation. He can sleep longer, study more, be more social, live a better life.

It is easier to get to those private schools than Tiffin Boys. No, I am not saying that it is easy to get to those private schools. I am saying that it is easier as a comparison.

It is really down to what your priorities are:

Competitive peers and a bit more pressure
Work mostly at home or school does it all
Privileged, affluent peers
Best resources
Prestige
Chances to get to universities
Good fit when it comes to ethnicity
Coeducation versus single sex
School distance
Happy balanced life versus pressure

Make a wise choice

If you can afford it, I'd go for a close private school over grammar school that's an hour away by public transport.

There's not really enough information to go on here, in particular:

(1) what sort of 'cultural fit' would private/grammar school be given the child's parents' backgrounds, social circles, etc?;

(2) "can afford the fees" isn't very precise, it's important to think what coughing up the fees would mean in practice, e.g. later retirement ages for the parents, no 'leg up' on the housing ladder for the child, fewer holidays, etc? Are any of these the sorts of things that matter to the parents? or are the parents so comfortably off that the fees would really be more like a scratch/a pin prick?