Parents attending 11plus interviews

[Saskia11]

Hello, how important is it for parents to attend the interviews. The emails suggest that parents can ask qns to teachers/ other parents and it forms no part of interview process. But in reality is it a black mark if you can’t attend?

i have started a new job so hard to take time off. My husband will drop my child to the interviews, but I won’t be able to attend unless I request time off! I don’t want to fall at the final hurdle, but if not necessary then won’t go!

It really does depend on the school. Some expect parents to be very much involved in homework, projects and school life in general, and would "test" that commitment at interview. Others are complete opposite and keep pushy parents at bay.

Having been through the process a few times I’d be inclined to take the school statement at face value and not kill yourself attending.

My DC had an interview at a very competitive school last week and we were told something similar. I did attend and there were opportunities to speak to pupils and parents before parents for around 9 families were taken for a meeting in the HT and the head of lower school (or whatever they call Y7 and Y8). A few parents dominated it with questions and most didn’t say anything but I’m quite certain no-one was noting down names or “scoring” parental “performance”. I think it was more part of the school’s sales pitch to us (the HT gave us a spiel before we got onto the questions).

If you’re concerned you could always email the admissions people and say you’re really keen on the school but unfortunately work commitments mean you can attend, and then possibly ask a question that you’d have raised if you had been able to go.

And/or just call admissions and double check it won’t count against you if you don’t attend.

good luck!

I would ask my husband to attend to represent us, and just explain that you’ve just started a new job so couldn’t take time off

Seriously, don't stress about it. When my DD did the 11+ a few years back, with not a single interview would it have mattered if I wasn't there. Sure, in a few you can speak to teachers/pupils, but that's for your benefit, not theirs. When you do speak to them, they don't even ask who you are and certainly aren't taking notes! At a couple of schools, we dropped her at the door and didn't even go inside the school. In all honesty, I suspect schools would rather not be inundated with parents when they've got enough to organise already.

Obviously, as a PP has said, it may depend a bit on the school but certainly in my experience it didn't matter at all. Schools know that parents have to work - how are they going to pay the fees otherwise!

Really? I would think for secondary they would not want parents involved at all in homework and projects!? I have two dc in private secondary schools and they focus on the children to be very independent. I am not involved in any school work.

I think you will be fine. Just explain. One school mentioned about parents attending the interview and my dh could not, as he was in another country for work. Surely, they understand parents work. Ds got an offer to that school anyway so it was fine. I think as long as your dc does well on exam and interview that is most important. And of course as long as you remain polite in any contact you do have with the school. If they request a parent there, have your dh go and if both can't explain why.

Thanks all. Think they expect the mums to be there. Dads they don’t mind if they are out of the country! My husband will attend. I could attend for a little bit and then would need to leave as I have calls with my stakeholders.

If your husband is there, you do not need to be there. I would think you are more likely to
drae attention by leaving partway through.

IMO, it’s more about giving the parents something to do whilst they wait for the kids than about checking out the parents.

I highly doubt they expect mums only to be there and excuse the fathers. In today's world they understand mums and dads both have responsibilities. Sometimes the mum is the breadwinner and the father stays home. Some families it is just the dad and no mum (and some mum and no dad!). Some families it is two dads and no mum....they would not be allowed to insist just the mums have to go. If this is the case, I would have lost interest in the school fast tbh.

I doubt they expect the mum to be there specifically, just a parent. I have 2 DC in independent schools and it’s always been one or other of us attending things like that, not both. It was definitely my DH who attended DC1’s scholarship interview.

Depends on the school. One just interviewed DS. the other one made it clear that parents would be asked in to end of interview. We were asked who we knew at the school, why we had selected it.

OP’s DH can be there to do that.

Thanks all. I think I’ll just send DH. Yes one has a chat one on one with the parents. I don’t want to draw attention to myself, so will just send the husband!

thanks

Nonsense do they want only mums there. Plenty of children do not have a mum to attend!