Our secondary schools much different because of where they are?

[teachermum23]

Hello,
In short: what has your experience been of sending your kids to school in a rural area versus a city area?

Some context: I live in a busy city. My oldest child (of 2) has just started reception. He’s had a very positive start and I am feeling good about his journey through this school. He is a very sensitive boy, which is a trait that I have shared with him.

Whilst the city life is extremely convenient for the stage of life, and we are mostly happy, I imagine that in the future we will move to a less populated area, possibly even rural. This is partly due to my husband having grown up this way and his keenness to do this again. But I have to be honest and say that it is also because I am a little terrified of sending my kids to a secondary school in a city. To give some background, I grew up in the outskirts of London, and then moved to another capital city abroad, before moving to my current city. I am not just scared of cities in general.

When I do the nursery/school run, I cross over with some kids from two different secondary schools and to be honest I am just horrified at the way they speak to each other, the way they treat members of the public and just the general demeanour. As an adult I find it intimidating, so I just cannot imagine how a little year seven must feel going into a place with hundreds of kids like this. I see them vaping, smoking, mocking members of the public, including elderly people, I mostly hear them punctuating in their speech with swearing and generally talking to each other in an unkind and derogatory way. I could Recall invade detail the interactions that I have had with secretary school pupils that have been positive because they have been so few and far between.

I do realise that a lot of this is just teenage behaviour in general. However, is there any truth in the thought that kids in a rural place with less kids in the school may have a slightly more positive/less intense experience of secondary school? I am possibly looking at this through Rose tinted spectacles…I do realise this. I have never lived in a rural place, so I have no experience of how different this life could be.

Why I’m writing this post is because I would like to hear others’ experiences on how realistic or idealistic my vision of another type of life could be.

I would love to hear from anyone who has moved from a city to a less populated area. How have you found it? How has your schools experience been? Would you recommend it? What was it like for teenagers growing up in this area as opposed to a city? Etc etc.

Thanks in advance ☺️

Look at all the schools. Some are better than others , whether city or rural.

In rural areas parents often have no choice. There’s one school. This can be a great school or awful. Rural parents might have to drive 12 miles plus to another school and that might well be full and dc won’t get in. Choosing a school is a myth for many. You get what’s nearest and that’s it.

We’re in the West Country and some of dc friends’ parents insisted on them going to the village secondary whereas mine are at the town one. All three who went to the rural one had moved by year 9 to the town one or out of area completely due to The horrific unmanaged behaviour and bullying.

It is the leadership that makes a school good. My dc so witness poor behaviour but the school does appear on it and I seem to have embedded good values in them so they are horrified and stick with “their own kind”. 2/3 of my dc secondary school are fabulous young people. Some of them are teenage stereotypes with complex up bringings.

I don’t get why people call it boring when the internet opens up access to the entire world. There are interactive games on PCs and phones, countless apps to chat with people far away, and so many chances to have fun outside. It feels like some people are just being negative for no real reason.

Teenagers don’t need to stay home all the time if they don’t want to, and going out doesn’t have to mean getting into trouble—it’s all about personal choices. Often, it’s just a matter of lacking creativity or motivation to choose healthy, fun activities over harmful ones, no matter where they are. If children don’t want drugs, they won’t use them; if they do, they will—it’s that simple. The key is to provide them with good education.

People seem to forget that it's 2025, not 1985.

I grew up in a village and loved every moment of it. Just five miles from a well-developed market town, it had a primary school in the village and a secondary school in the town. There was always something to do, never a dull moment. Living on my family’s farm was a huge advantage, and I often spent time on my friends’ and classmates’ farms, turning fun, informal work into a normal part of life. Both schools offered activities open to everyone, yet people talk as if rural schools don’t offer anything. We biked everywhere, though it seems like people here don’t even know what bikes are. Those who preferred walking simply walked wherever they needed to go. Nowadays, people make exaggerated claims that biking, walking, and other everyday activities are harmful to children. No wonder so many children are overweight. I’m 42 now, and it feels like the world is worse than it was decades ago.

There’s also the classic stereotype that rural kids are naive and can’t survive in the city, which always cracks me up. Honestly, we can handle situations city kids probably couldn’t, like riding bikes for miles, walking long distances, or dealing with angry chickens trying to take a piece out of you.

@ThisTicklishFatball I don't know anyone who says that walking is harmful to children. Your childhood on the farm sounds fun, but mine in a small village was not – or at least not once I was old enough to want to meet friends and do a wider range of social activities.

I agree that the internet and social media have made communication much easier (in fact I said so in my first post). But even so, I still think the OP, especially as they have not lived in a rural area, should think carefully.

Yes it's 2025 not 1985 but even today, my DC as young teens relished being able to get the bus to the city we live on the edge of, meet friends, go shopping, to the cinema, bowling; they could meet in a cafe, in the park, at the swimming pool. Ours is a big enough city to have junior drama clubs, a host of junior sports clubs of all kinds, from fencing through athletics to football and cricket, as well as dance classes, musical theatre, panto, Guides and Scouts, big music centre for lessons and ensembles – all a walk or a bus ride away. And we are also close to lots of glorious parks for outdoor activities, as well as being a 20-min walk from the open countryside.

I’m not saying none of those things are available in the country (obvs the countryside is! and IME Scouts and Guides and footy teams and dance classes are pretty ubiquitous) but certainly some are not. I don’t know of a rurally based athletics club nor yet a rural youth musical theatre group. Multiplex and arts centre cinemas are not usually in country villages. As others have posted, teens may well want to access these sorts of offers and depending on the local bus service, a parent risks being a taxi service for years.

A lot of people have weird misconceptions about rural life. Such as:

• everyone is rich
• there is nothing to do
• rural people are insular bigots

I would visit some of the places you are interested in OP and try to get a feel for what life is like. Rural Britain is a hugely varied place.

In terms of schools, I would say the school culture and catchment demographics matter more than rural vs urban. The one consideration is that kids who go to town schools may be more likely to hang around in the city after school, which may or may not be what you want.

A lot of people have weird misconceptions about rural life. Such as:

• everyone is rich
• there is nothing to do
• rural people are insular bigots

I would visit some of the places you are interested in OP and try to get a feel for what life is like. Rural Britain is a hugely varied place.

In terms of schools, I would say the school culture and catchment demographics matter more than rural vs urban. The one consideration is that kids who go to town schools may be more likely to hang around in the city after school, which may or may not be what you want.