Girls vs co-ed grammar

[Hotdoughnut]

My DD has the choice between 2 ofsted outstanding grammar schools. One is all girls and the other co-ed. Girls school is slightly better academically, the co-ed is better for performing arts. But that aside, hit me with the pros and cons of girls vs co-ed, please! I think ultimately that will be our main decider.

I'd say it's entirely dependent on your DD. We live close to an outstanding girls school but there is no way my DD would have coped. She needed a much more mixed group of friends. I know several friends girls that attended the girls school, some thrived, some crumbled due to bullying and bitching which unfortunately seems much more intense in a girls only environment. I wouldn't have taken that risk with my DD but she also was self aware enough at 11 to know it wasn't for her.

Statistically, girls do better in an all girls school. Only you know if your daughter is likely to be an exception to the rule, e.g. because performing arts is very important to her.

I'd look at how they perform for girls in the subjects shes most interested in. (For example, girls can be comfortable in STEM subjects in all girls as boys can dominate the classroom)

Otherwise does she have a preference?

Interesting thank you. DD is less mature I'd say, than some of her peers, and definitely doesn't have the awareness yet to make that assessment. She is reserved and mostly a follower, but is so kind and has many close friends. She is totally influenced by getting a fun person showing us round on open morning, for example! She has said for some time she'd prefer all girls. But she can't really explain why, so I feel we need to play a part in the decision. She enjoys performing arts, does drama and piano outside of school, but not at a level where the girls school would not be enough.

My daughter is at a girls grammar, no bullying or bitching, just a lovely group of friends and no distraction of boys!!

Academically speaking.

Whether they do better socially or not is a matter of opinion - whenever this topic comes up on MN some quite forceful opinions and anecdotes are posted.by supporters of each side of the debate.

I would be wary of pushing your dd to a mixed School if she is expressing a preference for all girls and knows it is an option.

I went to an all girls grammar- it was what I wanted and was exactly what I needed from 11-16. Dealing with puberty without boys around and being able to enjoy being good at stem subjects without having to fight boys for attention was fantastic for me. I then choose to enter a male majority environment from 16 when I was ready to cope.

But I do also know people who were impacted socially by an all girls environment and some who found it too easy to indulge their perfectionism in the all female environment and paid for it later though. It isn’t right for everyone.

All things being equal I would choose all girls for my daughters. But other factors such as location, subject choice and facilities out weighed single sex for dd1 who is in a mixed sex grammar. She is very frustrated by the boys in the classroom though - the loudness and distractions and the sexualised chat. I can already see she is switching off slightly areas such as computing and we will work to combat that at home. She has had to toughen up faster - she learns martial arts to try and keep her confidence up around the physicality of the boys. But she is learning to deal with it now, she is under no illusions what the real world will be like and that she will have to compete for her place -
quite hard lesson though that won’t be right for all 11 year olds though.

I loved my all girls secondary- I hope my daughters go to an all girls. Big pool for friendships, could focus on learning. Also with the rise of porn I personally want to keep boys at bay.

My daughter went to a co-ed grammar school as did I. Boys are very distracting. I went down two maths streams after a year in the same class as a set of particularly rowdy boys. My daughter’s class had a psychology session because the boys were so badly behaved in 3rd year. Having said that, we both met our husbands at school. I don’t have a set of old friends from school, but my daughter does; in fact they were her bridesmaids. I sent my daughter to a co-ed because I work in a female dominated environment and I really hate the Queen Bee/Wannabe dynamics