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Secondary education

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Original poster

Missing sixth form for 2 days

63 replies

Urbangiraffe74 · 01/10/2025 08:09

Hi. Tricky topic. We pretty much never take our kids out of school, so they have always had very high attendance rates. However an opportunity came up that I found I couldn't say no to.

My 16 year old has loved a particular US pop star for several years. I tried to get him tickets for his last tour 2 years ago but missed out as they sold out so fast. This autumn he is touring again, playing the UK for just 4 dates. I managed to get 2 tickets for my son and I and gave them to him on his GCSE results day. He is so excited.

The concert is unfortunately mid week - there were no UK gig dates at the weekend. It's also several hours away from us as he's only playing 2 venues.

I thought that would mean one day out of school and that 6th form would be more relaxed on attendance, being more centred on self directed study.

In practice however, once I worked out the travel arrangements, I have realised it means 2 days out of 6th form.

He can of course study on the journey to and from London.

I'm wondering how to play it with the school. It's clearly leisure so won't fall within the 'exceptional circumstances' category. Do I fill in an application form anyway, knowing they will say no and disapprove and we, or he, may get in trouble? Or do we call him in sick those two days?

We have never done this before.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 01/10/2025 08:16

I’d just say he was ill.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 01/10/2025 08:18

Don't call in sick. You might want to lie but why are you teaching your son to? Besides it'll be obvious he wasn't, and he'll be full of the gig.

You've made up your mind to do it even though it's 'against the rules'. You have decided the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Now own that decision.

RomainingCalm · 01/10/2025 08:18

I suspect sixth forms vary considerably in how they respond to these requests. It’s unlikely to be ‘authorised’ - they still care about attendance figures and are likely
to be grumpy about it.

But, on the basis that you aren’t going to give up the chance to go, I’d put in the request and call it a ‘family trip’. Accept that school won’t like it much but put the onus on your son to find out what’s going to be covered and then catch up as quickly as possible on what he’s missed. It’s a good chance for him to learn to take responsibility for his own work/results and making sure that he’s not missed anything important.

Hope he has a great time.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 01/10/2025 08:21

Don't say he's ill. He might be 16, not 6... but he's not going to not share his excitement with friends. And (unlike a 6 year old) he's bound to leave a social media trail. Just own it, and accept any consequences.

If he can at least go in on the first morning, he'll only miss 3 sessions anyway.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 01/10/2025 08:54

I taught 6th form for 25 years. This is quite common. You can ask, but they may not grant.

Which is why l suggested calling in sick. They all do it. And then show you the pictures afterwards.

abbynabby23 · 01/10/2025 10:45

Urbangiraffe74 · 01/10/2025 08:09

Hi. Tricky topic. We pretty much never take our kids out of school, so they have always had very high attendance rates. However an opportunity came up that I found I couldn't say no to.

My 16 year old has loved a particular US pop star for several years. I tried to get him tickets for his last tour 2 years ago but missed out as they sold out so fast. This autumn he is touring again, playing the UK for just 4 dates. I managed to get 2 tickets for my son and I and gave them to him on his GCSE results day. He is so excited.

The concert is unfortunately mid week - there were no UK gig dates at the weekend. It's also several hours away from us as he's only playing 2 venues.

I thought that would mean one day out of school and that 6th form would be more relaxed on attendance, being more centred on self directed study.

In practice however, once I worked out the travel arrangements, I have realised it means 2 days out of 6th form.

He can of course study on the journey to and from London.

I'm wondering how to play it with the school. It's clearly leisure so won't fall within the 'exceptional circumstances' category. Do I fill in an application form anyway, knowing they will say no and disapprove and we, or he, may get in trouble? Or do we call him in sick those two days?

We have never done this before.

Just call sick not a big deal. Make sure to tell him not upload any photos or videos on social media on the day. He can do a week or two after.

dizzydizzydizzy · 01/10/2025 10:54

Tell the school the truth. You will just make it difficult for your DC if you call in sick.

The school will not be happy about it because it impacts their attendance figures. The school will be much less unhappy of you can let him stay til afternoon registration and then immediately take him out. That way he will be officially in attendance on that full day even though he will be missing all aftetnoon lessons. Similarly, if there is any way you can get him to afternoon registration the next day, so much the better.

I doubt you will get a fine even if he does miss registration for 2 full days but you might - it depends on the school and your local authority.

Hope you enjoy the concert.

Emmz1510 · 01/10/2025 10:56

I wouldn’t call in sick and lie about it. It’s only two days in an otherwise good attendance record. Just tell the truth. ‘Officially’ they won’t like it and might say so, but in reality they will probably understand. Yeah he can do some work on the journey.

dizzydizzydizzy · 01/10/2025 10:56

I meant to say the fact your DC is in the 6th form and therefore above the age of compulsory school attendance will hopefully be in your favour. However, the school will not happy. Hopefully they won't be too upset.

NewMrsF · 01/10/2025 10:56

Just have it as an unauthorised absence. You’ve already given him the tickets, unless he’s done something to justify a punishment you have to take him. It would be disgustingly cruel not to.

BuildbyNumbere · 01/10/2025 10:57

Just fill in the form and take him out … what are they going to do? 🤷🏻‍♀️

ThatNaiceMember · 01/10/2025 11:09

Call in sick, easier for you and easier for the sixth form itself.

cha04 · 01/10/2025 11:10

Urbangiraffe74 · 01/10/2025 08:09

Hi. Tricky topic. We pretty much never take our kids out of school, so they have always had very high attendance rates. However an opportunity came up that I found I couldn't say no to.

My 16 year old has loved a particular US pop star for several years. I tried to get him tickets for his last tour 2 years ago but missed out as they sold out so fast. This autumn he is touring again, playing the UK for just 4 dates. I managed to get 2 tickets for my son and I and gave them to him on his GCSE results day. He is so excited.

The concert is unfortunately mid week - there were no UK gig dates at the weekend. It's also several hours away from us as he's only playing 2 venues.

I thought that would mean one day out of school and that 6th form would be more relaxed on attendance, being more centred on self directed study.

In practice however, once I worked out the travel arrangements, I have realised it means 2 days out of 6th form.

He can of course study on the journey to and from London.

I'm wondering how to play it with the school. It's clearly leisure so won't fall within the 'exceptional circumstances' category. Do I fill in an application form anyway, knowing they will say no and disapprove and we, or he, may get in trouble? Or do we call him in sick those two days?

We have never done this before.

There’s so much more to life than work and school. I regularly take my kids out. We weren’t put on this earth to be almost imprisoned by the mundane routine. You’re majorly overthinking this. Just do it!

Parsleysalad · 01/10/2025 11:16

Call in sick and please dont make him study on the journey there

sassyduck · 01/10/2025 11:17

Call in sick. Easier for everyone. It's only 2 days.

cestlavielife · 01/10/2025 11:19

6th formers will be missing school for uni open days exams for uni etc. Just say he has to travel to xx town .

Morit · 01/10/2025 11:20

We have a pre booked holiday in Dec, DC started college in Sept. I explained that we'd booked the holiday before he'd even decided to apply for college. They were fine. DS will catch up with the work, they were happy that we'd just been straightforward about it.

My impression from friends with older kids is that - as pp says - 6th form is a bit more relaxed about this kind of thing, subject to people not taking the piss or dropping behind with the work.

Thistooshallpsss · 01/10/2025 11:22

I don’t think fines can be imposed for over 16s? If I’m right just tell them and go no problem

Waterbaby41 · 01/10/2025 11:23

To all those saying 'just call in sick' - what a really bad example you are setting for your children. It is not okay to lie, it is not okay to teach your kids it's okay to lie

Cantseetreesforthewood · 01/10/2025 11:24

What does his timetable look like those days?
DS has a 2 week timetable. Week 1, and I'd just pull him out for 2 days.
Week 2, and I'd work out the latest we needed to leave, and send him in for 2/3/4 lessons on the day of the gig, and possibly back in the afternoon the day after.

user1492809438 · 01/10/2025 11:25

Don't ever call in sick. What kind of a life lesson is that for your child. Will he then think it's ok to do that when employed?
Tell the school, go and enjoy. no one will die and your son's education won't suffer.

Thisismetooaswell · 01/10/2025 11:26

Say he's going on a uni visit. You can go to loads of those. He could even look at one while he's in London, then it's not a lie

Ooooompa · 01/10/2025 11:27

Honestly I'd have no qualms about saying he was ill - or saying he was going to a pop concert. Life is for living - his attendance is usually excellent, it's no big deal.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 01/10/2025 11:27

I emailed school for DD for Taylor Swift in Y10 and was brutally honest. She was a music scholar and planning on music college post-GCSE so I said I considered it educational to see a show of that size in real life.

School came back saying 'have a great time'.

Only managed to get tickets for Cardiff and her BFF's mum drove home overnight so only 1 day off in the end but thought it might have been 2.

HannahHamptonsGloves · 01/10/2025 11:27

Oh god, don't lie. There's no need. Just email his form tutor or equivalent and say you've got tickets for this gig and unfortunately it will mean X will be out of lessons for two days. Say you'll make sure he speaks to his teachers to understand what's being covered in class on those days so he can catch up in his own time (but definitely not on the train on the way to/from the gig).

I presume he doesn't have a packed timetable anyway? For my 6th former it would mean missing 3 or 4 lessons at most. Also - will it really take you a full day of travel either way? Is there an option to attend a morning lesson and then go?

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