Help deciding secondary school

[Allanxiousarentwe]

Hi All,
For years I've hoped that when the time came my dd would attend a local outstanding secondary school. Its in a lovely area, a fairly small school and has always had a good reputation. However it can be tricky to get in and we are on the cusp of catchment so no guarantees. Now the time has come to start looking around and applying. We looked around 2 schools.
First was the outstanding school. I felt they only talked about the high achievers and the head boy and girl (which really wasn't our thing!) I was disappointed. I've since then heard a lot of negatives about the school being uncaring, they are only for results, there's a lot of bullying etc.
The second school is our catchment school. It's a big school, a lot of the children from primary will be going here. I was impressed. The headteacher was around when I was at school, and wasn't pleasant so I didn't have high hopes. He does now seem to be a fantastic headteacher and the kids appeared to really respect him. I surprisingly got a good vibe. The downfall is there are a lot of kids in my dd's year she would like a clean break from and I know a lot of girls from other schools who would also be attending this school and they are the stereotypical "mean girls"
So do we go for the smaller school with a small bunch of her nice friends but I didn't get a great gut feeling for or the bigger school, with the not so nice friends and mean girls, but the school seemed better? DD liked both schools, prefers the idea of having a clean break but her pro's and con's list equalled the same for very different reasons. Ive drilled in she will make new friends and there will always be mean people in life and it's how we deal with it etc. I just feel if I make the wrong decision it could have such an impact on her future! Thank you!

If it's a big school, there is plenty of scope for splitting up pupils from a given primary into different tutor and teaching groups - its actually policy in some and in any case, either you or the person at your primary school who liaises with the secondary schools around transition can at least request that your DD is not placed with named others, if there is a specific problem.

Have you looked at progress 8? What about attainment in low, middle and high achievers? Where does your DD sit - in which category? Which school does best for her category?

What about variety of subjects? What about sport, art, drama and facilities? What are Behaviour expectations? Is any school strict? I’d sit outside and view dc coming out. What do they look like? Would DD really fit in to what you think is the “better” school? Is there no possibility of change if you choose the wrong one? If parents of nice DDs want the school you weren’t so keen on, why? What makes them like it?

Can you judge quality of teaching from an open evening? What about subject availability at 6th form and university destinations? Which school matches your ambitions for DD?

Have ofsted been to either recently? Why would she not be better off going with nicer DDs? I’d choose this one unless there was a very poor ofsted. I respect schools with successful dc.

My DD, now in Yr8, went to Secondary with pretty much all of her Primary year group.. only a couple went elsewhere.... its the Village school( plus surrounding villages) so not much choice really! She was bullied and socially excluded at Primary.

She has nothing to do with any of those girls now.. yes she's in some classes with them but doesn't have to work with them. She hangs out with a completely different set of people. Its easy in a big school (hers is 240 in the year group) to avoid.

Look at all the other different opportunities on offer... extracurricular, subjects, sport, results against her particular profile (high, middle or low achievement).

@TheNightingalesStarling My DD1 was pleased to get away from judgemental dc (and parents) in her primary school too. It made a big difference to be away from them at secondary.

I’d go for the bigger catchment school, their primary gang will be so diluted by the other kids from other schools she will easily avoid the ‘mean girls’ and the mean girls themselves will be diluted and find their own other groups so it may not even be a problem once they move up.