Bus to/from school saga

[Karenm1]

Hi

My son started in year 7 this September. He chose a school not in our catchment and hes enjoying it and with his best friend.

However the journey back from school is proving a real issue. The school day finishes at 3.10 and generally he is not leaving school on the bus until 3.45. It is then a 40 minute journey home. He is not enjoying the return bus journey due to how late he's getting home and hanging around for bus to arrive after school.
The school are currently looking to change the bus provider and get this sorted so,its more efficient.

I had offered to pick him up from school (15 - 20 minutes each way( until the situation improves).

However ive now been offered a really good job and, if I accepted, would mean I am now longer able to offer to pick him up every day.

Im in such a mess about what to do. Do I accept the job or decline due to this situation? Should I look at just changing schools completely?

My new employer have been good in accommodating a time change already and I dont think they'll be happy or agree to me finishing at 3pm.

Any advise please?

You and he like the school so I certainly wouldn't change. Presume you factored in the journey and the distance as part of that choice.

I would take the job is it is a good option in other ways. Can your DS look at this in a different way – half an hour of extra time at the end of the school day. What could he do? Is the library or a study room open so he can get some HW done? There must be others in the same situation - could the school set something up to support them while they sort the bus?

Dd was doing a similar school say and commute. Is there anywhere to do homework in the intervening time? They get used to it, does friend travel with him?

He gets home at 4.20. That’s really not that late, he has loads of time after getting home - especially as he gets older and goes to bed later.

For the hanging around time, is there a space he can get on with some homework? That way he also has more free time when he gets home.

Also suspect things will improve as he makes more friends and he’ll find other people who are also hanging around and on the bus with him.

DD has a similar journey and on the bus she does Duolingo, listens to music and chats to friends.

I certainly wouldn’t compromise your career around picking him up, this will be a very temporary issue IMO.

He's only been doing the journey a few weeks hasn't he, if he started in September? So the school haven't had time to address the bus issue and your son hasn't had a chance to get used to the journey. Switching from primary to secondary takes some adjustment and time. I wouldn't miss out on a career opportunity to save your DS 30 minutes of waiting for/being on a bus.

It's only been a few weeks so the tiredness will be greater at the moment whilst he adjusts to the new school, expectations and travel - it's a huge change.
We're in a 3 tier system, so my DCs have had to get the bus to middle school from yr5. They are out of the house 7.30am-4.30pm. DC2 has just started yr5 and is still finding the transition exhausting, but DC1 is now in yr7 and has no issues any more. It took her a couple of months to adjust when she started yr5.
I would encourage DC to try to get some homework done between school ending and the bus arriving to take the pressure off later, although my DCs don't get this time and haven't struggled with completing the homework later yet (despite also being out training for their sport most nights). They tend to do Duolingo on the bus or stick their headphones on and listen to music to decompress from the day - is there any way he can utilise that time effectively too?

TLDR: definitely take the job. He will adjust and cope fine with the new and extra demands before you know it.

This sounds very similar to my journey home from school years ago. It won’t do him any harm getting home that time….

My son had to leave for school at 6.20 and would be home until gone 5 because of how long his bus journey took. He survived.
it’s good practice for if he had to commute for uni or work
take the job

Accept the job, he'll survive.

I used to spend 35 minutes walking home down back lanes. Or I’d get on a bus that took 30 minutes. I am now working and spend 2 hours a day of my time on a bus.

It’s a part of life. He’ll survive.

Is he standing at a public bus stop for over half an hour? I can understand that’s a bit off. I guess he just misses an earlier bus? Or they’re very very rare. Surely there’s some after school stuff he can do to leave at a time that works better for the bus timetable? Or even walk part of the way?

I don’t think he’s getting back late my son walks 35mins or so and is home at 4:15.

Can he just go to the library for half an hour and do some homework.

I got mine some cheap airpod things so he could listen to podcasts/music or watch youtube vids on his phone on the journey.

Schools usually allow kids to sit in the library for a bit after school so maybe he could get homework done in that time?

By the end of year 7 mine was pumping me for a quid a day for the corner shop and playing brawl stars or clash royale on his phone with his mates whilst both waiting for and on the bus.

They get used to it in time. It's only been a few weeks.

You can't turn down a good opportunity because DS doesn't like the bus.

We pay a grand a year for a coach and DS is picked up at 7.30am so at school very early and a 45 min wait after school.

It is what it is, really.

They just have to get used to it.

Definitely don’t turn down a job just because your son has to wait a bit longer than he’d like for a bus- that would be madness.

You say he chose the school, that’s where his friend goes etc. Can I presume when making the decision about what school to go to, you both knew about this bus situation? He chose a school that wasn’t in the catchment area so surely you both knew when choosing that this was an issue.

As others have said, get him some ear phones, or see if he can stay and do his homework in the library whilst he waits.

I would say he isn't massively late and he can chose to do homework in the library if he wants. Not worth missing out on the job you want for.

I'd take the job and I wouldn't ask to change hours again - it's literally only going to save him 20 minutes or so of travel time, he will get used to it. It sounds like the school have other options to sort out the bus issue, and he can also do other things while he's waiting if not. My journey to school was much longer than this at that age! I had to get 2 buses. It wasn't an issue. Has he friends that get the same bus?
He could do homework, listen to podcasts, play games on his phone, he could take something to eat to have on the way home to kill time if he's bored. It sounds like an inconvenience rather than an actual issue though.

That's not a ridiculous delay.

Presumably he is in the lesson until 3.10 (which, in itself is quite an early finish). He will then need to gather his stuff - potentially go across school to a locker to sort things out - and then get to the place he gets on the bus. If this is a school bus, that might not be much of a walk, but it will also mean they need to make sure they wait until all the pupils are on it, even those that need a word with a teacher or that need to go and look for a lost item. If it is a public bus, he will have to walk to where the stop is.

Generally speaking, friendships are made on the 'commute' to and from school. I'm friends with girls I got the bus with 50 years after meeting them and getting to know them on the school bus.

Travel is part of the deal of choosing the school that isn't the nearest one. Indeed, for many, that would be the journey from the nearest school.

So, school have arranged school transport to depart over half an hour after the end of school?? That's pants. My kids bus left about 10 mins after the bell, and if they missed it (or had detention) needed a parent to collect (or walk, but even cutting through the fields it was a long way).

Is there a public bus route with better timings?? I'm guessing not, or school wouldn't provide transport.

If it's a scheduled 3.40 bus, I'd find him a safe place to wait - and do homework or attend an afterschool club.

Don't turn down a job for this - it sounds like school realise it is less than ideal. We is move house to be walking distance from school once the youngest left primary tho, as the busses weren't ideal.

Take the job and DS will eventually get used to the bus commute.

We live rurally and DS finishes at secondary school at 3:50pm and then catches the school bus home getting in around 4:50pm as it goes all around the houses and he’s the last kid to be dropped off. It’s our nearest school so there’s no other choice.

If I collect him from school, it takes me about 8 mins to drive him home.

DS is in his fourth year of secondary so he’s well used to it by now and tends to read or listen to his music on the bus.

@CarpetKnees The school bus never waits and DS has missed it a couple of times when his class has been let out late. I’ve had to arrange a back up plan with other parents if this happens and I’m in the city, as it would take me at least 90 mins to drive to the school.

My secondary age children get home at 4.20 but they walk the hour home ...he wanted to go to a school out of catchment so really it's what he chose

4.20 really isn’t very late. Can’t he do something useful whilst he waits. Lots of kids at my DC’s school don’t get home until well after 5

Having to wait for the bus or a ride home was not unusual when I was at school. Kids get used to it, he can use the time to start on homework. Its not like he is hanging around for hours and hours.

Take the job

dS will get used to it.

and it’s not that late.

is there no other route home? At our school many of the kids start to take the train home instead of the school bus, so they can arrive home earlier.

if not, can he start his homework at school? Make best use of the time?
or do an after school sports or arts club and come home later still?