Mild ADD

[Savannah12345]

hi, We are in London and our son is applying to various selective independent secondary schools. He was assessed as having mildly inattentive ADD about 3 years ago, his current school doesn't really make any accommodations for him in the classroom. I'm wondering whether to disclose this to the secondary schools as I have heard of them not wanting kids classified as ADD because they assume they will be disruptive. The application forms I have seen refer to a reference from the current school - he is at a state primary. Does anyone know what is asked in those references, and whether the SEN status would be mentioned? (FYI I already got a bit of a negative view from one school that I tried to talk to, so that school is off our list). We don't have much of a choice as there are very few independent secondary schools that we can comfortably travel to

I have heard of them not wanting kids classified as ADD because they assume they will be disruptive.

this makes no sense! Why would knowing about their diagnosis make any difference to whether they are disruptive or not? As ADHD can impact both behaviour and learning I think of course you should tell them.

So your current school makes no adjustments for his neurodivergence - is that problematic?

if you withhold his diagnosis,
how can you have open / transparent dialogue about his needs / challenges ?
sounds like setting him up to fail ?

there has been no need for any adjustments at his current school - he sometimes spaces out when the lesson is longer/ something he isn't interested in, but this is rare. His current school has not noticed anything in particular. The disclosure piece is more because I would like the school to see who he is rather than determining this based on a very long report. The report is more ah 2 years old, is 29 pages long, and buried deep in it is the conclusion that he has inattentive ADD and is mildly impacted. I don't think anyone is going to read the whole long report, considering they have hundreds of applicants. If they read the first few pages - which talk about the diagnostic process and all that was tested, it sounds on paper like a lot

@Savannah12345 why did you get him diagnosed if you feel the need to hide it?

Parents need to be aware when they seek (potentially unnecessary) diagnoses for their children that their children may be asked to declare these conditions for life - on educational applications, job applications, health/travel/life insurance applications, possibly even in conversations with potential future partners (you can imagine the litigation that might arise in a toxic relationship if a potentially genetic condition wasn't declared). If it was a private diagnosis, rather than NHS, then you do have the option to hide it, but what if they/you later want to rely on it to get some sort of "reasonable adjustment"?

Thanks - the diagnosis was because of some behaviour traits - including the inattentiveness - I probably should have just left it alone, but I was worried and wondering what was going on with that. It was also just after COVID where he was isolated for much of it. I honestly did not realise that I would get a huge report that doesn't really say much other than the conclusions which are mild ADD...

what are you're child's grades like? could they improve with accommodation as well as learning certain skill sets that generally help?
if he is doing well the possibility is that he could be doing even better.
personally i would disclose as add/adhd can often become problematic during the teen hormonal years as well as when the workload and pace increases.
if you read any of the year 7 support threads you will see that the transition from primary to secondary can be particularly tricky.

You could just forget it but I take a dim view of parents who do not disclose then after a couple of years, once hormones kick in suddenly announce child has xyz and start demanding adjustments to be made.

As a psychologist, I really get annoyed and upset to see people saying (potentially unnecessary) diagnoses. What do you mean? It feels to me that you mean that a child has a “milder” form of something and a parent is therefore seeking a diagnosis in order to obtain a gain in someway?
Getting a diagnosis of anything means you fit within certain criteria. Which makes likes ultimately much harder for the child and the parent. Potential litigation from future partners? You really are a pleasure.
I would really consider the way in which you speak about this for parents who have children that struggle and have sought diagnosis. If I met you in real life I’d really struggle to know what to say. Zero empathy and maximum bitterness.

My dd had such ‘mild’ ADHD no one noticed it.

She went into burnout at 14, 5 years later she still hasn’t recovered. There’s no such thing as ‘mild’ Especially in adolescence.

The title of the thread is "Mild" ADD so yes, it is a milder form of something. I asked the op why she got the diagnosis and she said it was because she was worried. It seems to me, and many others, that some private psychologists making their living off parental worry and therefore over-diagnose.

For example: https://www.bbc.com/news/health-65534448

And you’ve actually just kept going? And relied on news reports? I’m not a private psychologist, btw. But I would be wary of wading in and upsetting many parents with this rhetoric of guilt that they’re somehow playing the system. Mild issues still cause massive problems, and can get bigger later down the line. Don’t get on the bandwagon when you have so little (if any) experience or knowledge yourself.

How do you know how much experience I have? I've said nothing about myself.

You don't sound like a psychologist - too quick to judge. Professional psychologists don't tend to throw phrases like "zero empathy" at people they've never met, and certainly wouldn't use it as an insult.

I very much empathise with the op's child who has had a diagnosis label attached to them that may do more harm than good. And I empathise with the op too, because I know what it's like to worry about a child's behaviour.