Has anyone else’s child struggled with transition to secondary school?

[Stacino]

I just wanted to reach out because I am so shocked with how damaging it has been for my daughter starting high school/ Secondary School.

After a hugely positive experience of primary school, I’m still adjusting to how damaging and difficult it is for both my daughter and myself to navigate Secondary School.

They seem to focus on compliance, and it is extremely difficult to get their individual needs supported without the behaviour policy constantly punishing and harming their sense of self, worth and confidence.

It’s been a heartbreaking process, and more infuriating with how little schools do to help before labelling anxious behaviour as “naughty”.

It’s definitely open my eyes to the other side of education, as I was fortunate to have a child that did really well at primary School for some parents their child has struggled throughout. And then to mention the accumulative impact this has had on my health- and for many parents, especially mums and single mums who tend to hold the impact of this and navigate this for their child while trying to juggle many other priorities too.

The focus has to be on compliance. Some secondary schools have 1000+ pupils. If they didn’t have rules and policies in place they will have disorder. You can’t ask them to treat your daughter differently unless of course they have SEN or other specific needs. My son has started secondary school and has had detentions for minor infractions but he’s broken the rules and needs to learn it’s not primary school.

Yes, mine had an absolutely terrible time. Ended up having a breakdown basically (undiagnosed autism) and having to drop out of school to recover for 6 months, before starting again in a much smaller setting for y8. If SEN are or might be a factor then try to get an EHCP process started asap. You will need help, and it takes ages and ages. I think the trend for mega schools (one near us is 12 form entry) doesn’t work for autistic kids. We were lucky to find a single form entry school with a very different attitude, where compliance isn’t a big deal for obvious reasons.

@Zhu so sorry you guys went through that, but really great you’ve found something that works. We’ve been through so many process’s, they don’t make it easy do they. We have just started year 8, emailed several months ago about EHCP as Ed psych report highlighted additional needs. Need to chase this up again as heard nothing. And school haven’t put anything advised by Ed psych report. It just feels like a constant brick wall. But we persevere…

Hi OP, are you aware that you can request an ECHNA yourself? It just takes a letter to your local authority. You can find straightforward guidance on the IPSEA website.

I will post a link to the EHCP support thread in a moment.

The experience you have had is common with girls whose additional needs were supported but not documented at primary, sadly.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5309128-ehcp-support-thread-no-5?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Who commissioned the Ed psych report - you, the primary or the secondary? What needs were identified and what support was suggested?

Template letters for families of children with SEND https://share.google/VupYSeTUYvVc9YpzT first template on this page.

@Burningbud1981 I think this is the exact problem, when you start high school there is an adjustment period. And some children need a bit more support with that, rather than constant punishment that becomes unbearable and affects a child’s sense of self, which will lead to worse behaviours long term. If things became a pattern of repeated behaviours, then I understand your point. But if early intervention of support is offered, this can have much better long-term impact for both the school and child. It’s the same as punishing additional needs… additional needs require support not management through the behaviour policy.

@Needlenardlenoo ah no I hadn’t realised. I’ll have a look now and begin the process. What are Sundays for 😆

that’s really great, thank you 🙏🏼

The primary really should have done a proper handover though. I teach in a secondary school and our SENCO makes a list every summer (not September) of new year 7s with EHCP, in the process of getting one, and who primaries say need one. And all the kids get a one to one transition meeting.

@Needlenardlenoo I think there must be an inconsistency across secondary schools on the types of support with transition that they provide. My daughter just had to turn up on the day and manage this hugely different environment. The other issue where additional needs weren’t formally recognised at primary school (she did receive daily pastoral) but nothing formally written up… additional needs can sometimes be seen when placed into a secondary school environment. Children can thrive in primary school and struggle in secondary school. This is where the struggles can be first identified. Identification - support, instead of identification - negative consequence. I fully appreciate the need for a system that keeps the “whole school in order”, I am a professional myself, but right now I have mum hat on 😆 and believe secondary schools need to change

Yes, they are inconsistent. I moved heaven and earth to get my daughter into the school where I teach because I knew from the inside that staff and processes were decent (not perfect of course).

If you put in the ECHNA request hopefully school will take you more seriously.

It could be worth a SAR (subject access request) to primary if you feel everything was under the radar there. It can be surprising what shows up on emails.

My DS isn't struggling academically, but he is seriously struggling with the older children. He is getting knocked about and pushed around daily, often has his lunch knocked out of his hands, has had things stolen out of his bag and keeps getting sworn at. School just tell him to 'walk away and tell an adult' 🙄 It's such a shame, because he was so excited about secondary school and loves to learn. It has completely ruined it for him.

I really identify with what you're saying OP
In similar situation
Yes I'm a single mum and yes I feel so stressed
I don't know about your child but my child keeps it all inside at school (which doesn't help me with school)

Can I ask have you said anything to school? What have you said? Have you managed to get any support at school?

@ClassicBBQ my child is really bothered by the older children too. She says they push and shove and she's been pushed out the way s couple of times and I know it's bothering her