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Secondary education

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Original poster

DD had 16 points, classmates double – AIBU to think this is unfair?

36 replies

Clippetyclopp · 13/09/2025 16:43

My DD has just started Year 7 and after less than two weeks has already been made to feel bottom of the class. The teacher read out everyone’s achievement points and she had 16, while most of her classmates had double. She came home humiliated, confused because she is trying her best, and now worrying she’ll never catch up or might miss out on trips.

I don’t really see the benefit of reading the points out publicly – it just shames the ones at the bottom, especially when they’ve only just started at a brand new school and are still finding their feet.

What worries me most is that the gap is already so big she feels she can’t close it. Do these systems reset each term, or will she be stuck at the bottom throughout secondary? If it’s permanent, how on earth is that motivating?

I’m particularly sensitive about this because at the end of Year 6 she was the only child not praised in her leavers’ assembly, which really dented her confidence. At least then she could leave and have a fresh start, but now, only days into Year 7, she’s already been ranked bottom publicly.

She is capable – she’s in the top set for maths – but she needs encouragement and recognition, not shaming. I’ve emailed the teacher in case there’s been a mistake and asked if they can reassure her, but I’m so disappointed this has happened so early on.

AIBU to think this points system is damaging rather than motivating? Has anyone else’s DC had this at secondary – do the scores reset, and what did you do about it?

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 15/09/2025 19:09

@Weald56 Gove? What’s he got to do with stupid school discipline policies? Honestly - get a grip.

MMUmum · 15/09/2025 19:22

Clippetyclopp · 13/09/2025 16:43

My DD has just started Year 7 and after less than two weeks has already been made to feel bottom of the class. The teacher read out everyone’s achievement points and she had 16, while most of her classmates had double. She came home humiliated, confused because she is trying her best, and now worrying she’ll never catch up or might miss out on trips.

I don’t really see the benefit of reading the points out publicly – it just shames the ones at the bottom, especially when they’ve only just started at a brand new school and are still finding their feet.

What worries me most is that the gap is already so big she feels she can’t close it. Do these systems reset each term, or will she be stuck at the bottom throughout secondary? If it’s permanent, how on earth is that motivating?

I’m particularly sensitive about this because at the end of Year 6 she was the only child not praised in her leavers’ assembly, which really dented her confidence. At least then she could leave and have a fresh start, but now, only days into Year 7, she’s already been ranked bottom publicly.

She is capable – she’s in the top set for maths – but she needs encouragement and recognition, not shaming. I’ve emailed the teacher in case there’s been a mistake and asked if they can reassure her, but I’m so disappointed this has happened so early on.

AIBU to think this points system is damaging rather than motivating? Has anyone else’s DC had this at secondary – do the scores reset, and what did you do about it?

At 6th form my Dd's French teacher informed the whole class that she 'was the only one who thought she was getting a grade higher than she was' at A level. Some teachers shouldn't be teaching. Dd was upset and embarrassed.
She got A A B with the B in French, just no need for put downs and public humiliation in classrooms, sending hugs to your Dd

FiveCustardTarts · 15/09/2025 19:30

It’s just a continuation of the sticker and star of the week bollocks at primary. The kid who only punches one person instead of their usual two gets 10 points, and the well behaved kid who doesn’t punch anyone gets nothing.

Anothercoffeeafter3 · 15/09/2025 19:36

GiveDogBone · 15/09/2025 18:55

Why is she bottom? You’re trying to treat the symptom, not the disease.

Ours are in mixed ability tutors with reward points ranking the tutor groups. The top set kids contribute the least to the tutor total as the teachers expect them to do something exceptional to earn one. The lower set kids seem to get them just for completing homework.

diddl · 15/09/2025 19:46

Depending on what they are handed out for the ones with the most may not have achieved anything tangible.

If she's working well she needs to find a way o not being disheartened by this.

Easier said than done I'm sure.

Jibberishforever · 15/09/2025 21:29

Clippetyclopp · 13/09/2025 16:43

My DD has just started Year 7 and after less than two weeks has already been made to feel bottom of the class. The teacher read out everyone’s achievement points and she had 16, while most of her classmates had double. She came home humiliated, confused because she is trying her best, and now worrying she’ll never catch up or might miss out on trips.

I don’t really see the benefit of reading the points out publicly – it just shames the ones at the bottom, especially when they’ve only just started at a brand new school and are still finding their feet.

What worries me most is that the gap is already so big she feels she can’t close it. Do these systems reset each term, or will she be stuck at the bottom throughout secondary? If it’s permanent, how on earth is that motivating?

I’m particularly sensitive about this because at the end of Year 6 she was the only child not praised in her leavers’ assembly, which really dented her confidence. At least then she could leave and have a fresh start, but now, only days into Year 7, she’s already been ranked bottom publicly.

She is capable – she’s in the top set for maths – but she needs encouragement and recognition, not shaming. I’ve emailed the teacher in case there’s been a mistake and asked if they can reassure her, but I’m so disappointed this has happened so early on.

AIBU to think this points system is damaging rather than motivating? Has anyone else’s DC had this at secondary – do the scores reset, and what did you do about it?

It's lucky they've done and now you know but they shouldn't have done it publically. Perhaps class positions should have been anonymised. She can do something about it now.

It's better than the atrocious thing we have allowed to happen in primaries when children or parents have no idea how they are doing and assessment results are not shared.

Mummyto2rugrats · 16/09/2025 09:28

Ours school it doesn't reset i believe tead out 1 x per week its to do with house points each term the house with the most points gets to fly their flag for the following term. It's about positive behaviour encouragement. But putting your hand up and participating in class helps earn points doing house competitions earns points the negative points are for bad behaviour.
My DD never gets negative points but her positive points are lower than my DS who is a year behind her. He also last year got 27 negative points which we weren't happy about and he has been task to improve these can be for talking in class to missing uniform ( he never has but can get for misogynistic or racist behaviour and speach) it has never affected them or their friendship group knowing who has what positive or negative points they like to see where they place. For my son i think he gets more than my daughter as he is happy to put his hand up and get involved my daughter though polite and respectful and been house captain 3 times is more quiet in class and she is OK with that and it not earning herself as many positive points.
The positive points only award the elite for a yearly trip because the school cant take too many and yes it would be nice to get a place but tbh my DD puts more stock in doing well in her studies and getting lead roles in the plays or sole singing in and of term assembly and my DS is happy that he is choose to represent the school in sporting events and has been put forward for county trials

You and your daughter are 100% reading too much into it the positive points are just 1 aspect of highschool and not everyone can hit the elite scores that earn them a once a year reward trip if that's what your school does

Wildefish · 16/09/2025 11:18

Clippetyclopp · 13/09/2025 16:43

My DD has just started Year 7 and after less than two weeks has already been made to feel bottom of the class. The teacher read out everyone’s achievement points and she had 16, while most of her classmates had double. She came home humiliated, confused because she is trying her best, and now worrying she’ll never catch up or might miss out on trips.

I don’t really see the benefit of reading the points out publicly – it just shames the ones at the bottom, especially when they’ve only just started at a brand new school and are still finding their feet.

What worries me most is that the gap is already so big she feels she can’t close it. Do these systems reset each term, or will she be stuck at the bottom throughout secondary? If it’s permanent, how on earth is that motivating?

I’m particularly sensitive about this because at the end of Year 6 she was the only child not praised in her leavers’ assembly, which really dented her confidence. At least then she could leave and have a fresh start, but now, only days into Year 7, she’s already been ranked bottom publicly.

She is capable – she’s in the top set for maths – but she needs encouragement and recognition, not shaming. I’ve emailed the teacher in case there’s been a mistake and asked if they can reassure her, but I’m so disappointed this has happened so early on.

AIBU to think this points system is damaging rather than motivating? Has anyone else’s DC had this at secondary – do the scores reset, and what did you do about it?

Have you thought about ADHD. That’s when kids do badly in things that they are not interested in but well (maths) in things they like. They usually have low self esteem because of it. I’m mentioning it because I have it and school was just awful, but I am clever.

Wildefish · 16/09/2025 11:21

Octavia64 · 13/09/2025 16:55

Your child is massively overthinking this.

so are you.

each school runs their own system so we can’t tell you if it will reset or not.

most schools have some kind of house system and the points count towards a house competition with cups and stuff at the end of the year.

the students generally stop caring around Christmas of year 7.

the teacher will have been told to read them out almost certainly.

It’s not massively overthinking if youre the one feeling humiliated. It’s awful and can affect mental health.

Weald56 · 16/09/2025 18:20

TizerorFizz · 15/09/2025 19:09

@Weald56 Gove? What’s he got to do with stupid school discipline policies? Honestly - get a grip.

Are you a teacher who worked in state schools before 2010? If not, perhaps accept that I, along with most other teachers, saw the effects of the Tory dominated coalition (with Gove as Education secretary) know no more about the very damaging effects of their (e.g. Gove's) policies; of course it wasn't;t JUST Gove, hence my use of 'et al'.

Hope that helps.

BTW I "got a grip" by seeing the writing on the wall and retiring early. Best thing I ever did as the madness couldn't effect me. But then my state educated children hadl eft school by 2010.

Endorewitch · 17/09/2025 23:26

This is highly unusual nowadays. This happened in the past ,but schools don't usually do this nowadays. I am an ex teacher with children and grandchildren who have happily gone through the school system. I have never worked in a school who had this sort of pra time or even heard of it nowadays. 50 years ago yes!
I should set up an appointment with the head of year to discuss this.
It is humiliating a child .

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