Secondary school choice

[Stepmum250]

Hi,

so I need your advice (mainly for my husband as he won’t ask for help)

my stepdaughter is applying for secondary schools, and has expressed which ones she would like to look around that are within our catchment area

Her mum has told her explicitly no, she’s not allowed and is trying to take her to view two schools that are outside of the catchment area and she would very unlikely be able to get in.

the visits are also 1. On a night that is our custody night (court ordered) and 2.the same night as one she has expressed an interest in going to

my husband has asked her to think about daughters wants and explained if she is to take her on our night, she must return to ours afterwards, which her mum is also refusing. She has also stated she will just “take her” as the court order means nothing

am I wrong in thinking that the school visits are a Waste of time? And my husband wants to know if he’s being unreasonable to want to take her to the one she wants to rather than the one her mum wants to view

He also wants to know if she was to apply for schools without his knowledge as it feels it may go that way, can be appeal this at all? He has PR

thank you

I think a school tour is a one off so I'd probably be more relaxed about what is Court ordered and not hold DD to it. Or offer to take her instead. God forbid, your husband could even go with his ex wife and look at them together.
As for the tour in catchment, most schools do an evening tour and a day tour so do one at school option with ExW and one with DD (it's usually the following day). Alternatively, call the school and ask to go and look around as you can't make it.

Maybe ExW thinks the others are better and is casting a wider net than catchment schools. You said "unlikely" but not "impossible". There's always waiting lists.

With school choices I think more visits is better than less.

And I think going with ExW and DD is a good idea. Then he can bring DD back to yours after.

Separately, I rarely say this but the tone of your OP is quite aggressive and suggests the ExW is doing something wrong by investigating all options, whether remote or otherwise.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.