Have I done the right thing??

[Bestfootforward11]

I don’t think anyone can really answer this but just feeling so overwhelmed and anxious at the moment. My DD was offered the forth school on her list and it’s an ok school and we just thought it’s what you make of it. She then got offered the second on the list which was great and accepted it. It’s a mixed school, has good results and we liked it. We then got offered the first choice! But turned it down. It’s girls only and ultimately I think my DD will do better at a mixed school for various reasons . We’d put it first as she was keen to go with her friends but she was less keen later when we got offered the place. My sibling has had her child tutored for grammar school and is considering private too. I don’t think my DD would thrive with the pressure so didn’t want to do that. But I worry that my thinking is coloured by my own childhood where excellence in education was the top value and while in some ways I benefitted, my mental health is not great, some of it linked to pressure to ‘succeed’. But now I’m wondering have I done my DD a disservice? Should I be pushing more? I really don’t know any more. It was the first day today and DD had a good time but I am emotional and teary. Any kind words would be appreciated. Thank you

My top priority is she grow up healthy and while school achievement is importsnt to some extent, other things are impirtant too

I agree with you. I hate the idea of kids being segregated-I want my kids to see everyone as an equal and appreciate the fact that they can be friends with either sex. I've got friends who went to single-sex schools who admit they had issues when they went to work because they'd not been used to males/females. This was an issue for both my male and female friends. Edit0I respect some people might have had a great time at a single sex school, and I am not judging, just talking from the experience of friends.
TBH, you'll never know-if she has a great time at a comp, you'll think you made the right decision. If not, you'll wish you'd gone the other way. Same as if she went to a grammar! But none of us have crystal balls, and I wouldn't want to intensively tutor my children, and then feel pressured/not good enough. I like the idea they'll go to state schools with boys and with girls, and people from all back grounds.

I've got friends who went to single-sex schools who admit they had issues when they went to work because they'd not been used to males/females.

That's surely quite unusual? I want to a single sex school, not uncommon then in my part of London. I had male cousins, activties outside school with males etc & I don't know any of my school friends who were uncomfortable.

@Bestfootforward11 I think it's normal to question and doubt but your dd sounds happy.

Thank you both for your replies! It’s really helped me talk myself down. Just got to see how it goes and hopefully all will be well. Thank you so much 🙏

I think it's the kind of situation where you need to watch and go day by day.
if at any point she is unhappy (mental health concerns), bored (not pushed enough) or caught up in too much boyfriend drama (co-ed school) then you revisit the school options.
state with added tutoring seems popular and you can always expand on what is being covered in class with family trips and outings related to classroom material.

The uni doesn’t REALLY matter. A clever student who’s willing to put in the work can get a 1:1 anywhere.