No touch policy at school?

[purpleme12]

My child is going into high school
Apparently there's a 'no touch' policy at school!
Ie you can't even hug .....

Out of all the rules I didn't foresee this one...

Wondering how common this is?
Is this the case at anyone else's school?
Seems really draconioan to me

This is just basic parenting, from toddler age. Parents should teach their kid about consent, bodily autonomy and to not touch anyone, as a baseline.
It's vital, and very bare minimum safeguarding.

My secondary introduced this rule.

admittedly it was during Covid. It was kept because there were so many, not fights, just incidents where one teenage boy jumped on another teenage boy as. “A joke” and then bones got broken

it was just easier to police.

Yeah, and the sexual assaults on girls will be more obvious too.

its very sad really that schools think they can make rules banning natural, normal human behaviour.
It might work but at what cost to the kids. Didn’t Covid teach us how highly humans value and need human touch.

My son’s school had this policy. Inner city boys school. It stopped play fights turning into proper fights.

I’m a teacher and we have the same. It avoids confusion with things like ‘play’ fighting; kids trying to walk down busy corridors with their arms around each other/ linking etc; it basically takes ambiguity away. It takes away us trying to establish whether all parts of a touching situation are happy to take part. They don’t need to bloody touch each other all the time.

I’m not sure when you were last in secondary school but it’s mainly a feral wasteland. They can do what they like out of school. It’s not like a pandemic. Do you repeatedly need to touch people at work?

Such a shame. Ds and his mates were always draped over each other , I used to come in and there were teenage arms and legs everywhere 😂

That’s not really appropriate at school is it?

Kids don't learn this from their parents. They learn it from each other.

If the parenting was so successful schools wouldn't feel the need to introduce the rules.

You can teach them anything you like but when they become teenagers it's a totally different ball game and they have to work it out with their peers. If you're lucky they'll carry the values you taught them into this stage of their lives, but the actual behaviours are something they work out with their peers. The idea that adults helicopter them to the extent that they can't hug each other when they want to is extraordinarily disempowering and infantilising. It's not going to result in confident kids who understand what's appropriate and what isn't.

If I'm wrong I'll be happy to come back in 10 years and admit it but I bet the micro-management of young people's everyday behavior like this, does not reduce the rates of anxiety and bad mental health in young people.

I hope I'm wrong. If these sorts of rules become the norm, I'll be delighted if I am.

That is insane and unhealthy to blanket ban eachother form touching eachother.

Maybe they'll ban all talking next in case someone says something inappropriate.

My DD’s lower secondary had a policy like that. I thought it was ridiculous, then she actually attended and I understood what a school filled with 12 year olds is like. Never once did I hear of the teachers stopping someone in distress from getting a hug. It’s one of those rules they can pull out when necessary.

I prefer more precise rules, but also understand reality. This is one where unless your child actually gets in trouble for a ridiculous infraction, you just ignore that it exists and expect your child to behave like a good citizen.

Was it a knee jerk reaction to Everyone’s Invited or Covid?

My son’s school’s corridors are too over crowded to make this workable.

We don’t have this rule. We have “common sense”. It is totally fine for boys to high five each other in the playground of course! So of course we don’t stop them doing it.

It's a big school. So the corridors may be crowded. I've never been in the corridors when everyone's there of course.

I'm not sure what you mean by Everyone's Invited?

But I'm not sure if it's a new rule or when it was introduced. I know they've got a new rule of no earrings this September (which was a bit of a downer because that wasn't in place when we looked round)
Could be a new rule?

If the parenting was so successful schools wouldn't feel the need to introduce the rules

Well, quite. This was my point when you argued with me. The parenting is shit. The kids don't know how to behave and won't be told when they do wrong. They argue and assert their rights.

The rule is relatively new and seems unusual based on the past. Doesn't mean it's not necessary as a final resort to keep more people safe.

Our school does have this rule. And a what's 'private ' poster . Showing images of things from their phones to their bodies.

They brought that rule into my grammar school in 1979, after the deputy head caught two of the sixth formers snogging in the cricket pavilion.

It proved impossible to police 😊

I can see why it makes sense at senior schools. It’s the age plus crowd control. Teachers have to deal with scuffles, play fights, real fights, couples making out at school, non-consensual touching etc. I imagine it’s easier and much more time-efficient to enforce a blanket, unambiguous ‘no touching’ rule than have to deal with the ‘but that’s not fair Miss’ nuances. In practice, I’m sure no one is going to be disciplined for putting their arm around a friend who’s upset or unavoidably brushing against someone in a busy corridor.

We used to have the six inch rule at school, only enforced when needed. I doubt a couple of friends will be in trouble for a platonic hug.

I remember girls hugging their friends when they were crying. Relationship break ups. Parents divorcing. Pet died etc.

What about if someone is crying because their pet died or their boyfriend dumped them at school or their parents have just split up? Or their granny died Sounds awful.

Usually this rule gets made to prevent an existing problem like rough play in the corridor that gets passed off as banter or ‘just a bit of fun’.

My son’s old high school has this rule. It is strictly enforced to the point where on sports day you are not allowed to shake hands or put your arm around your mate to congratulate them on their win. If you do touch someone you are sent straight to the reflection room to write a statement about the incident. Bonkers

But that’s a real misunderstanding of what safeguarding is. A ‘no touch’ rule is not actual safeguarding, it just makes it easier to punish people by not differentiating between normal human contact and genuine assault. I can understand why schools bring it in, but it’s unhealthy, goes against all human instincts and does nothing to educate kids about consent or autonomy.