If you've gone through the EHC process, what would you do in this situation?

[LittlePickleHead]

(Also posted on SEN but it's v quiet so posting here for traffic)

This may be a bit long so apols in advance but it's a bit of a complicated situation and I'm not quite sure of the best approach.

DS (12) has had issues with school anxiety all through primary school, which got significantly worse after covid. Primary school were always very collaborative and helpful at managing this but he needed quite a lot of support at the start of the day with transition (e.g. he had various approaches but the one that lasted til end year 6 was us dropping him in the SENCO room early, staying for a bit, him then staying with the SENCO until after class had started, then he would go to class when everyone was settled to miss the busyness of the playground and corridors). He had a couple of CAMHS interventions for anxiety during this time but was turned down for further support.

We knew secondary was likely to be difficult and tried to prep for this - he didn't get into our preferred school because of distance and appeal was fruitless because of no EHCP.

The school he got into is a large outer London boys school. We tried to work with the school to get support on transition (e.g. to discuss a gradual start, a quiet room he could access, to be with friends) and they basically let us down at every turn e.g. all his friends were in one class and DS was on his own. Essentially they didn't take us seriously until the wheels started seriously falling off by November, at which point DS anxiety was crippling and none of the adjustments were of any use. He stopped being able to attend school completely and even stopped being able to leave the house to see friends. He hated himself and started saying he wanted to die. Given the school couldn't offer us support or work sent home with off-rolled him and enrolled him into online school to stop the escalation and give us all breathing space (2 hours a day trying to get him in was just unfeasable).

The school did refer us to an EBSNA pilot programme which was useful as we got a fast tracked ASD diagnosis and a mentor who has now written a report for EHC. Alongside we are waiting for an Ed Psych report, we have psychiatrists assessments and all our correspondence from his school so we have a lot of evidence as to what he needs to reintegrate, however we are only at the start of the EHC assessment application process.

Online school has been useful in that DS (who is academically very able) has kept up with the curriculum and had structure to the day, but he is now disengaging and upset with being homeschooled - he misses seeing friends and he wants to be in a 'normal' school, although can't even walk past his last school without a panic attack so it needs to be a new school.

Aware we could be waiting a LONG time for the EHC and DS wants to start year 8 back in school. We've been visiting both mainstream and specialist schools and are in a tricky situation - we can't access specialist without EHCP which could take a while, and also may not be named as in theory his needs should be able to be met in mainstream. But when I detail his situation to mainstream schools locally they are all without fail saying that they don't have resource without the EHCP and need to set expectations. But surely legally he has to be offered somewhere he can attend? What we want isn't unreasonable its:

• a part time gradual, phased return
• a key person (s) who he can form a relationship with and trust, that he can go to if needed
• a safe/sensory room he can go to if needed
• possibly early or late transitions so he's not in crowded corridors

If he felt like he had these he would probably be OK once he got used to the school, it's the feeling unsafe and like he's not cared about/the teachers don't like him that causes the anxiety.

So (and thank you if you've got through all that) WWYD in this situation? Get him back on roll and attempt mainstream again while waiting for EHCP with the risk it could go horribly wrong if they don't accommodate? Wait for EHCP (what will he do in September then?!).

I just want to avoid another traumatic experience for us all (having to also manage all this whilst working FT). Thanks in advance for your thoughts
OP post

Your county council should have a send and inclusion team, contact them and they can help work with you. The adjustments you are asking for should be possible without an EHCP.

How far along are you in EHCP application process?

Did any school seem more nurturing and as though they could/would be more supportive?

Re what would I do.. I currently have a child who has had a whole year with no education. The year before that he was part time and not accessing any formal learning.

We start EOTAS in seot. Having seen the trauma caused by mainstream we couldn't do that.

BUT your child is wanting to try, which is a huge positive. My child was so traumatised we still cant say the word school near him.

If I could find a school I felt was nurturing and would work with me I would be tempted to try but be on high alertt to signs of anxiety and distress.

Or is there a good home ed community you can link in with for friendship?

Its hard, I have had to be signed off work, juggling it as a solo parent. Also work in a school.

In terms of other schools - yes we have seen one which would be perfect and completely meet his needs, but it's private and only accessible via EHCP.

Mainstream - we still have some to see but I don't get the sense of that nurturing environment, no. They are all so big (this is after visiting the smallest and apparently most nurturing in the borough, which for DS still felt too big and scary). He needs somewhere small and where the teachers know him, not where he's going from one to another where they don't understand his needs and are likely to shout at him for e.g. forgetting his ruler.

I think he is traumatised and is massively conflicted - wanting to be normal, wanting to see/make friends, but hugely triggered by the school environment. I can't meet home ed groups etc, I have a really full on job and both DH and I cannot afford to take a hit on income at the moment. so it's super stressful having him at home whilst trying to work

Feels like at the moment he's no ones responsibility and the only way to force that is EHCP, but in the meantime we don't have a plan of what to do to keep his mental health from deteriorating through feeling isolated and different

Some of what you are asking for should be very doable for mainstreams like a pass to leave class early or a phased return/ reduced timetable for a period with a later start. However lots of mainstreams don't have a member of staff available for students to go to when needed due to teaching commitments etc and likewise don't have a static place students can go too. At this stage, like you say, those adjustments may not even be enough...

You should never have had to deregister him. He should have been signed off sick and the school should have provided work for him to do at home. I would suggest speaking to the local authority and getting him back on role with a school, even if he cannot attend.

Without wanting to sound critical, I dont think it is realistic for you and your DH to both work full time when you have a child with this level of need. It cant be helping his mental health to be home all day with no interaction from you or other people?

Can you afford to send him to a private school?

I literally have emails from the school saying they can't send work home and he 'needs to be in school'. Bloody unhelpful when he's having a MH crisis.

I've applied for a school today that I know has vacancies and will speak to them about part time/phased return, but I am sceptical as to how they will manage this in practice. But at least then he's the LAs problem again.

DH is more flexible than me and they do stuff together around his work outside of the house. DS also shares my office so he's with me all day but it's very hard for me to work! DS also does see friends outside of school and he has a great set of mates/parents who have been making the effort to still include him. So it's not terrible at home, but he wants to go back to school which is the main thing.

I REALLY wish we could afford to send him private! But the school we have seen that could meet his needs is £30k+ a year (+VAT now!) so it's completely out of our reach without an EHCP unfortunately

A phased return is going to be tricky unless it is managed by subject rather than by time
He will be constantly playing mental catch up in lessons, having missed the lesson before or joining for lesson 3 of a 5 lesson series. I imagine this will increase his attainment related and curricular anxiety. So I would be very sparing on the use of a time-based part time timetable. It also won't facilitate friendships.

Ideally you would want a school with a resourced base for autistic students, where instead of a phased return, he could just phase in to mainstream classes. He could be more based in the unit base initially, completing set work, then move more into lessons over time.

A resourced provision would also provide a ready made autistic peer group and give him key staff with whom he can develop a sense of psychological safety. These factors will be important for any success in reintegrating to a school.

It probably needs an EHCP and I would personally keep him in online school until his EHCP is properly in place and a suitable setting identified rather than finding anywhere that will give it a go and then finding the placement breaks down again.

I know you're right however he's completely disengaged with online school now. Also the resource base closest to us said the following

"We do have a resource base here and the criteria for entry is to have a diagnosis of ASD and working at year 2 level. The resource is heavily over subscribed and is currently full."

DS is working at or above expected for his age so wouldn't be able to access this. The email also said ASD students not in the resource base are just expected to fit into the mainstream school

The tone has been v similar at the schools I've emailed in terms of not being flexible to need. I take your point on how difficult part time could be to manage

Your LA is responsible for providing your son with an adequate education 15 days after he stopped attending. You need to refer to those rights in your letter, social services are run based on rights.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/news/children-out-of-school-your-top-questions-answered

I will also PM you.

The only thing my former school would have found difficult would have been the phased return, but only because of the logistics of missing parts of lessons and how to work that out.

Early transitions are certainly doable. We used to allow students to leave a couple of minutes early and subject staff knew that was the case.

The SEN department was always a safe space for students who needed space and was always staffed. There would be a TA that would check in regularly, but this was a time when we had more TAs than there are now.

Resource bases are usually full and require an EHCP. I’ve had some able and less able students in the resource bases, so perhaps things have changed.

The most important thing is that your son has a positive experience at a new school, but some of them certainly seem possible in a mainstream school.