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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Terrible school

74 replies

starfiyah · 03/07/2025 15:09

This is the last straw. My brother has endured year 7 in this school and I’m pulling him out to homeschool him. Today was sports day and they decided to be extra and make people sign up for what activities they had to do on the Friday, of the week before. My brother was among the unlucky ones to be absent on Friday and so, come sports day on Thursday, they did nothing to make sure every child was aware of having to sign up to be able to participate on Sports day. They didn’t tell us parents in the email about it nor was it mentioned to the children on any day after Friday. My brother was forced to endure sitting in the sun the whole day and being denied any participation. He was so hurt and upset. This school for the past year has, hands down the worst communication to parents and students of all schools and organisations I have witnessed. The management is poor and aloof to the needs and issues of students and is an all-in-all a horrible school. I can provide more info for anyone wondering. I do not recommend this school one bit. I’d rather my brother go to a school further away than this place.

OP posts:
REDB99 · 03/07/2025 15:10

Home education because he didn’t join in sports day? 😂

Lucynow · 03/07/2025 15:10

Your brother?
or son?

And you’re going to home school? 😦

TeenToTwenties · 03/07/2025 15:11

Home Ed sounds like an over reaction when he could just move school?

HonestAquaMember · 03/07/2025 15:15

Without further examples of 'poor communication' or 'aloof management', we can't really comment - from your post, sounds like a massive overreaction.

What makes this school 'all-in-all a terrible school'? This one miscommunication?

redskydelight · 03/07/2025 15:20

It's quite normal that not every student takes part in sports day and that others are expected to sit and watch and cheer them on.

This seems like an odd thing to be the "last straw". If the school is that awful, I'd expect better examples.

If you think it would be better for him to go to a school further away, why are you not exploring that option rather than jumping to home ed? Where are his parents in this? Or are you his guardian?

SheilaFentiman · 03/07/2025 15:56

By secondary, schools are generally encouraging more independence eg pupils finding out about things they have missed for themselves. Might this be what happened here?

Bluevelvetsofa · 03/07/2025 15:59

Presumably, someone in your family expressed a preference for it initially.

If you really feel it’s not the school for your brother, I’d investigate other schools in the area that may have spaces. EHE will be quite a commitment

TrainGame · 03/07/2025 16:20

Trust your gut. Lots of push back here from other posters but this may be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Secondary school in the UK is a fraught affair for many kids. It's a tough experience for a variety of reasons.

If you have a confident pro-social kid that's good at something, they'll usually cope but there's a good portion of kids that aren't like that and for them, it's a daily grind of misery, trying to fit in and be something they're not.

I hope your DS finds peace. We've considered the same. At sixth form it seems like some kids start to actually grow up and that could be a time to re-enter mainstream education.

Good luck with homeschooling. There's no need to stand in a flame.

555Stars · 03/07/2025 17:53

starfiyah · 03/07/2025 15:09

This is the last straw. My brother has endured year 7 in this school and I’m pulling him out to homeschool him. Today was sports day and they decided to be extra and make people sign up for what activities they had to do on the Friday, of the week before. My brother was among the unlucky ones to be absent on Friday and so, come sports day on Thursday, they did nothing to make sure every child was aware of having to sign up to be able to participate on Sports day. They didn’t tell us parents in the email about it nor was it mentioned to the children on any day after Friday. My brother was forced to endure sitting in the sun the whole day and being denied any participation. He was so hurt and upset. This school for the past year has, hands down the worst communication to parents and students of all schools and organisations I have witnessed. The management is poor and aloof to the needs and issues of students and is an all-in-all a horrible school. I can provide more info for anyone wondering. I do not recommend this school one bit. I’d rather my brother go to a school further away than this place.

This is sad to hear! Schools should always be actively including everyone, pretty sure they went against their own policies too. Someone should have noticed and made amends either before or at the very least on the day.

Home schooling can be a lot for guardians that aren’t prepped way in advance. If anything, look at transferring him if he’s unhappy.

I hope things work out!

Vivienne1000 · 03/07/2025 18:20

Maybe the day he was absent was the deadline and the PE department needed to start organising races etc. At secondary school you need to start learning to take responsibility and he could have emailed the teacher with his request. Hope Homeschooling goes well, it will be for the better. Anything which goes wrong will only be your fault, not the teachers!

BrentfordForever · 03/07/2025 18:25

That is sad….lazy school..

Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:24

REDB99 · 03/07/2025 15:10

Home education because he didn’t join in sports day? 😂

It was the last straw of a string of inadequacies about this school. Finding a new school would require me to have a meeting with the headteacher, explaining my woes and getting him to sign a form. But after homeschooling my brother for year 8 I don’t need him to sign the form.

The headteacher has been a headache to get a hold of the past year.

OP posts:
Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:26

Vivienne1000 · 03/07/2025 18:20

Maybe the day he was absent was the deadline and the PE department needed to start organising races etc. At secondary school you need to start learning to take responsibility and he could have emailed the teacher with his request. Hope Homeschooling goes well, it will be for the better. Anything which goes wrong will only be your fault, not the teachers!

They could have mentioned the need to sign up for races in the email they sent to parents and should have mentioned it on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. How could they not figure that some kids wouldn’t be in school on Friday?

OP posts:
Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:28

TeenToTwenties · 03/07/2025 15:11

Home Ed sounds like an over reaction when he could just move school?

Same reply to other question someone asked

OP posts:
Banannanana · 03/07/2025 19:29

This is just secondary schools tbh.

Communication with parents is non existent unless there is an issue. Otherwise it’s all down to the child. A big step from primary school.

The idea is to encourage independence. However, I think some schools forget some of these pupils are 11 year old children. The responsibility and expectations can be too much for some of them. There should be a slower transition and more support for y7s really and a gradual increase in expectations of independence, it’s a difficult transition from primary for a lot of them.

redskydelight · 03/07/2025 19:30

starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:26

They could have mentioned the need to sign up for races in the email they sent to parents and should have mentioned it on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. How could they not figure that some kids wouldn’t be in school on Friday?

Show quote history

They didn't mention it in an email to parents because parents don't need to know about every little thing that happens that they have no input into. I'm sure it would have been mentioned at school. this is what the PP meant about secondary school being the time that you have to start taking responsibility for yourself. That means, realising that when you are absent, that you need to find out from classmates and teachers what you have missed.

Hanovercrosse · 03/07/2025 19:32

Why would they email parents ? This is secondary, if he wants to participate he asks

Hercisback1 · 03/07/2025 19:33

This is on your brother, not the school.

R

Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:37

Bluevelvetsofa · 03/07/2025 15:59

Presumably, someone in your family expressed a preference for it initially.

If you really feel it’s not the school for your brother, I’d investigate other schools in the area that may have spaces. EHE will be quite a commitment

Many people home Ed though so it can’t be that wild of an idea?

OP posts:
Hanovercrosse · 03/07/2025 19:38

Do you work op ?

Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:40

Hercisback1 · 03/07/2025 19:33

This is on your brother, not the school.

R

How was he supposed to know that he had to sign up for races? Apart from Friday, which is when he was absent, no-one told him he had to do anything to take part? They sent emails to parents with info but left out that crucial part so it’s the schools fault and this is not the first time they miscommunicated. And they could have easily sent a message on Google classroom.

OP posts:
Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:41

Hanovercrosse · 03/07/2025 19:32

Why would they email parents ? This is secondary, if he wants to participate he asks

When I was in secondary school, my parents were given letters and I didn’t even have to sign up for races- you chose on the day.

OP posts:
Hanovercrosse · 03/07/2025 19:42

starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:41

When I was in secondary school, my parents were given letters and I didn’t even have to sign up for races- you chose on the day.

Show quote history

Sports day takes an enormous amount of organisation. You can’t just ‘sign up on the day’ anymore
Why didn’t your brother ask ?

TeenLifeMum · 03/07/2025 19:45

starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:41

When I was in secondary school, my parents were given letters and I didn’t even have to sign up for races- you chose on the day.

Show quote history

My school you had to sign up (I’m 43). My DDs had to sign up by last Friday for this Friday but on the Monday one of them (the sporty one) had the pe teacher chasing her down the corridor to sign up for the 200m. Ime the kids not doing anything go and sit and watch/cheer have fun with their mates. I appreciate there’s other stuff you’re not happy about but this is normal and no you don’t get letters because it’s up to the dc to be independent. I may have been mentioned in assembly or tutor time and your dc didn’t hear it. Or maybe the teacher forgot dc was off Friday. It’s not a big deal imo and he’ll know for next year.

Original poster
starfiyah · 03/07/2025 19:49

TrainGame · 03/07/2025 16:20

Trust your gut. Lots of push back here from other posters but this may be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Secondary school in the UK is a fraught affair for many kids. It's a tough experience for a variety of reasons.

If you have a confident pro-social kid that's good at something, they'll usually cope but there's a good portion of kids that aren't like that and for them, it's a daily grind of misery, trying to fit in and be something they're not.

I hope your DS finds peace. We've considered the same. At sixth form it seems like some kids start to actually grow up and that could be a time to re-enter mainstream education.

Good luck with homeschooling. There's no need to stand in a flame.

You’re a Godsend. You’ve summed it up for me. My brother thinks he has social anxiety and he’s not managed to find friends. From what he has reported to me for the past year, the kids at school are vulgar and so unnecessarily mean and petty. It’s been a year now and he is desperate to be done with this place.

I think homeEd will

  1. Make it easier to apply to a new school as I don’t have to speak to the headteacher.
  2. get an education that’s more focused on him and his development. I think this will set him on a better stead before going back to mainstream school(and a different one of course.)

thank you for this message 🙏

OP posts:
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