Experiences of lesbian dd at secondary

[Ellie54320]

When my dd was around 8/9 she made a few comments that she liked girls and not boys, we didn’t think much of it as she was so young but she’s pushing 12 now and has told some ‘close’ friends at secondary she’s a lesbian (and us of course).

The problem is that one of these ‘friends’ has gone and told everyone (and not in a nice way) and there are quite a few girls who are now making life hard for my day with little comments and digs here and there.

As long as my girls happy I don’t care who she likes but I just don’t want her having a hard time, I especially don’t want her thinking it’s wrong to feel the way she does which is what’s happening. She’s genuinely the sweetest, gentlest girl - I just don’t want 5 years of name calling etc wearing her down. Tbh I’m pretty shocked these kids are acting like this so young and in this day and age.

She has got a few good friends who are understanding so I’m getting her to focus on them. But I just wanted to see if any other mums out there have been through secondary with this experience and could give a heads up on what’s to come and if things get easier as the kids get older? I can’t work out which way this is going to go for her.

Have you spoken to school? I would expect this would fall under their anti-bullying policy.
myeldest found their own crowd and had supportive friends.
with my youngest, the same school had set up a club for gay students and allies by then and homophobia was seen as quite uncool.
i think it’s important to just be supportive and help her nurture friendships. It’s great that she’s comfortable in her own skin, that will stand her in good stead.

I would absolutely tell school as well. I’m a teacher and have a gay dd. Homophobia is alive and kicking and it’s horrible. School should speak to these people and stop them. It won’t stop the snide looks and comments unfortunately.

And yes, both have built strong friendship groups at each stage and are happy young adults. It’s natural to worry as a parent but kids find their own crowd.
i do think it’s important to speak to school though as that behaviour is unacceptable.

Speak to the school. Stress to them how she is suffering homophobic bullying.

Big hugs to her.

The school may have an LGBT club that meets once a week at lunchtime - my DC's secondary school does. It may help your DD to connect with other pupils in a similar situation.

I would also tell school but be wary of the LGBT club as the other students may tell her she's a boy.