I went to Henrietta Barnett School, ask me anything

[exhbsgirl]

I went to HBS from year 7, then left in year 11 (before GCSEs) around 5 years ago as my family moved away. Unfortunately as it was a pretty long time ago I don't have much proof other than some old messages that would identify me, but I'm willing to show those to a moderator if anyone is skeptical.
Ask away!

And OP genuine apologies for any derailment of your thread, I wont comment further for this reason. To me like I say it’s just better placed in the threads devoted to London etc and I’m sure would be very useful to prospective parents there. I wish you the very best in the future for your career in software engineering.

I had g heard of it but work in education.

this has been really interesting to read because I think no one can give a more honest opinion of the experience of a school than someone who experienced it.

no need to sell it - you go and leave!

Im sorry to hear life circumstances changed and good on you for applying for uni as a mature student and finding your path despite adversity.

My question is always about pastoral care in these hot house type establishments- did you find the pastoral care was good or is it more an attitude if you’re lucky to get a place so dig in and suck it up?

Actually, you'll find that probably half the threads in this section are about specific schools. People asking about them and trying to get information comparing various schools and facilities. So this is exactly where the thread belongs and probably immensely useful to someone considering the school as you rarely get the student's perspective.

As it's a grammar with children coming from hours away, catchment isn't even relevant.

So you've been needlessly rude and ignorant about how many grammars (and MN) work. Glad your child got into the selective school though, I guess it shows genetics aren't everything!😂

How bizarrely rude are you and how on earth is most of what you are saying remotely relevant to what I have written… 🤣 Just spoiling for a fight clearly online and nothing more than a keyboard warrior. Sorry, I didn’t know that you personally felt insulted when someone has had a negative experience with grammar schools being such an expert and all, I’ll be sure to consult you the next time I share my experience to see if you deem it as acceptable.

I’d be very interested as to which school you attended as you seem to put a lot of your own personal value as a person into living vicariously via what your children do and where they went to school. I cannot imagine anything more embarrassing than using where my child went to school as some sort of bragging rights, you’ve clearly not much going on.

Thank you!
And I mean there'll always be an economic divide in educational success but I didn't really notice any overlap between the richest kids and the highest performing kids in HBS (although of course I don't know most of the kids' economic backgrounds) I guess the fact that the kids got in there in the first place makes it a given that the kids' parents are perfectly capable of tutoring them sufficiently.

Yeah definitely, it's quite refreshing to be shielded from harassment and misogyny from your peers and I know many girls felt that way. As for uni admissions the topic has never really come up in conversation so I couldn't tell you, sorry. And thanks!

it's interesting that you said that there was more bullying in your new school. Is it possible that because HB was put so much focus on grades and studies that children did not have time for all this?

Thank you! And thanks for asking the question, I was hoping for the opportunity to get into it because I think it's something parents should beware of.

Pastoral support was pretty bad, most if not all students considered it useless. At best, they would give empty words of support and offer sessions with the (rubbish when I went there) councillors. However if the student had issues that presented liability to the school such as self-harm or public outbursts they would oftentimes be treated like a problem rather than a person. If grades slipped long-term due to MH issues they would turn it into an opportunity to academically pressure the student, ie by assuming their issues are due to academic stress even when they're clearly not, then micromanaging their academic performance under the guise of support, often getting parents involved at every minor issue because they know the parents are harsh. They rarely made referrals to CAMHS or similar services.

Beyond pastoral care, the general environment around mental health was a mixed bag. MH issues were EXTREMELY common, especially anxiety, which had the positive effect that students felt less alone in these issues and felt comfortable talking about them, but there was also definitely the issue of students' issues rubbing off on eachother. However bullying was extremely rare and students were generally really nice which is a massive plus.

I think overall most students were happy they went there but acknowledged that there were many issues with it. If any parents of prospective students are reading this I think you need to strongly consider how much of a risk these things may be to your child's mental wellbeing, and be prepared to support them heavily outside of school and pull them out if necessary.

I think it's a lot of things. For one, the students are likely to have been bullied themselves due to being the nerds in primary, or abused by their parents, so they would know how it feels. They also have a lot in common due to their academic background so less differences to bully eachother over, and bullies tend to be a bit stupider on average which HBS girls most definitely aren't.

Do you think a lot of girls got into HBS because they were highly tutored or do you think the excessive tutoring that some parents do was quite pointless and most of the girls would have gotten in with far less tutoring?

Do you think the anxiety some have is linked to high intelligence/perfectionist tendencies or do you think it is more because of pressure from parents/sort of then continued/acquiesced by the school because the education system is such that state schools are meant to progress students even further from their starting point?

Do you think that maybe the anxiety in lots of girls around Year 9/10 that we see in loads of teen girls now across many schools - did you see it get better in a lot of HBS girls as they matured/got older?

It seems to me that you are very self aware for your age now, have worked out what you would like to do career wise, what kind of environment you would like to work in and also what type of working environment may suit you well. Do you think being around/close to lots of clever girls did help on that journey? Or is it more your own innate analytical intelligence?

Tutoring 100%, the vast majority of the kids were tutored heavily and those that weren't were all still tutored to some degree. The students were pretty smart but not super duper exceptionally so, having gone to a high-rated comp after moving there honestly wasn't much difference in intelligence between the smartest students there and those at HBS even if they had fairly different test scores.

And yes, perfectionism and parental pressure are very common factors, especially the latter. The school system itself is also a smaller part but honestly the school didn't put direct pressure on us (unless our grades slipped long-term) and the environment between the students was more chill than some might expect. Of course there was naturally pressure as we had such competent competition but I never noticed any grade elitism and people would be really reassuring if you got a bad grade. I'd say anxiety issues got worse as time went on and exams got more important.

And thanks! I'd say I'd like a flexible hours environment as I struggle with keeping a regular sleep schedule, and eventually going remote and travelling would be an aim. I wouldn't say HBS had much of an effect on that though as I wasn't thinking too hard about my future at that point in my life.

how would you think Tiffin Girls is any different from HBS ? Do you recommend HBS. We live in South London and TIffin Girls is close to our current place and will be potentially moving closer to HBS, is it worth it ?

Did HBS have any pointless rules like must wear a blazer&tie even in sweltering 33 degrees or are they generally a bit more tolerant about petty rules?

I've never heard of Tiffin Girls so I can't compare, as to whether I'd reccomend HBS it's hard to say since there are a lot of positives and negatives and I don't know anything about your daughter(s) and how they might be affected, although I would recommend it for girls who've been bullied a lot as HBS is one of the few safe havens for them. I'd say to read through my replies so far if you haven't already and consider how they may affect your daughter(s.)

nah they're pretty chill about uniform

💯 agree! Such weird behrs from some ppl

HBS has been the top state school in the UK for years now! If you’ve not heard of it then great for you but there’s no need to post negativity just for the sake of it!

I actually believe these posters are mums whose girls didn’t get through.

So you’ve never heard of this school and your daughter also went here….hmm so which part was a lie?
#trolling

I think she said her DD went to a superselective. Not HBS.

It's an interesting thread and interesting reactions.

I'd like to see a bunch of others - I went to SPGS/Tiffin/Westminster/Eton etc - would be really interesting to see the different attitudes on display and different experiences. Maybe we should start a thread with a bunch of standard Qs and those of us who have children at these schools could get our children to answer. Would be interesting to see the differences.

Hi @exhbsgirl I am interested in the cultural diversity aspect of HBS - I have heard one ethnic background completely dominate the school in terms of numbers, given the location, and extensive tutoring / hothousing by these parents. (There seems to be a do or die attitude which is frightening!) In one year, I have heard from friend that this is as high as 90%.

Being a parent of a DD (we are considering this school) who is not from this background, do cliques form at school and do “outsiders” get segregated or get bullied? I’m not sure what’s your background, but what was your experience? In your form at HBS, what was the mix like and what is the % of girls with different ethnic backgrounds? Do girls or their parents get very competitive still despite already being in the school?

Many thanks

From my observations I'd say south asians, who are almost entirely Indian and Sri Lankan, form about 80% of the demographic. White people, who are majority eastern european, and east/south-east asians make up the remainder at roughly equal proportions. There are generally 1-2 black kids per year.

I'm white (balkan slav) and it does feel a bit strange being the minority for once but you get used to it, and I'll concede that some of the people make white-bashing statements but overall it was fine and most of the white people in my year were quite popular. As for the black students I never witnessed any racism towards them and in fact my black friend was very popular but I obviously can't fully confirm what it's like for them.

I'd say in year 7 it was fairly cliquey and a tiny bit catty but it was still nothing compared to most schools and people chilled out once they got to year 8 and mixed with other classes more. Just like anywhere else there are still a few loner students at HBS who struggle to fit in and spend a fair portion of their time there without a friend group, but people are still nice to them.

The students didn't get competitive as they already had a bunch of stress and didn't want to add to it for themselves or others, I don't know much about the parents to be honest but I know my parents didn't interact with them a lot because many of them were a bit much.

@exhbsgirl thank you so much for starting this thread and sharing your experiences. We would actively consider an application for HBS so your comments are invaluable. I would be interested to hear about the following:

• Could you have completed your sixth form years at HBS? If not, was it the pastoral care or quality of teaching that was the catalyst for the move?

• Would you have rather spent 7 years at the school you eventually moved to?

• Were you heavily tutored/prepped to be offered a place at HBS? In hindsight, was it worth the effort?

• You mentioned that often teachers would find the students had already covered topics before they were being taught them. Was this self drive by the students or do overly tutored students for 11+ remain tutored whilst at the school?

• Often parents will compare HBS to the London super selective privates, as well as Latymer and DAO for their DDs. Did you have friends at these schools and were their experiences of school similar to yours (in particular thinking about quality of teaching and pastoral care)?

Thanks in advance and best of luck with your further studies!

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective—it’s been incredibly helpful! Your insights have confirmed some of our concerns. We’re not keen on the heavy tutoring culture either (we only used a software tool for the 11+ and didn’t engage tutors or classes).

Although HBS was very tempting with its impressive academic results and being fee-free, we ultimately decided to go with another school that places greater emphasis on the quality of teaching—not just the grades, but on nurturing a lifelong love of learning. We believe that good grades will follow naturally as a result.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint - some qualities matter in the long run.

Apologies for the late reply, I began travelling and I've been very busy.

My family moved away for reasons completely unrelated to the school. IIRC how the sixth form admittance worked, I would have been allowed to do it there had I stayed and gotten the GCSE grades I did at my next school (889 for the subjects I took at As.) However I don't think the environment would have been healthy at all at that level.

I'd say my latter school as the environment was much healthier especially once it got to exam times, but I think HBS was a nice place to go to (not necessarily better, it's pretty difficult to judge, but the gap would be smaller) in ks3 when the exams were less important due to the lack of bullying, even though it still had issues back then.

I was tutored and pressured to a very unhealthy extent, however I wasn't some complete tiger parent horror story, I was still allowed to have a decent amount of free time. And no I'd say it wasn't, there are plenty of schools that are better in many respects that can be easily achieved with more healthy amounts of tutoring. Even at HBS exceptionally bright students stand a small chance of getting in with healthier amounts of tutoring.

It can be both depending on the student, but I'd say in most cases the students were no longer professionally tutored and mostly handled their own studying with parent micromanagement guidance.

I don't know anyone from either of those schools, sorry.

And thank you!

Can you please give all the negatives you faced?

Thank you for starting this extremely useful thread.
Do you feel that HBS has helped you to become a better person overall (confidence, presentation skills, sports etc) through the non-academic support.
I have heard that most HBS girl actively participate in various clubs during lunch time. Do you think these activitues added significant value to your personality?
How would you compare the non-academic /extracurricular support at your new school to HBS?@exhbsgirl