To take Y9 ds out of school for a week/10 days?

[abpsoton]

Really hoping for your input as I am completely torn on this one. We (DH and DS (13)) have been invited to a friend's wedding in the Far East later in the year. It's nowhere near a school holiday. Because of travel (long haul then internal flights) we'd need 7-10 days to make it do-able. Appreciate we'd most likely get fined, but honestly, what effect on his education short/medium/long term would having that much time off in y9 have? I have no idea!! He's doing well at school but has suffered from school related anxiety (post COVID and pre SATS). It seems such a shame to miss a once in a lifetime opportunity but equally don't want to s**w up dc's education. Opinions please!

So when you say ten days, that could mean pretty much two weeks off school? In Year 9? No way, they would miss too much.

When is it?

When does his school do GCSE options? That’s often in the spring term, so if it’s then, he might miss out on his choices. You also need to know whether his school starts GCSE work in Year 9. If so, he’ll be missing a chunk.

I think that, given his anxiety around school, that length of time might exacerbate that. Is it really a once in a lifetime opportunity or will you be spending most of the time travelling and attending the wedding?

I have a DC in Y9 and I wouldn't consider missing that much of school for a friend's wedding.

DH and I have attended a midweek wedding (only in the UK) and didn't allow our DC even one day off - we arranged for family to stay at ours so that DC could go to school as normal. If the wedding is really important to you, do you have friends/family living nearby or who could stay with your DS so that he can go to school while you and your DS take the trip? Or could just one of you go?

Better still, make your apologies for the wedding but plan a trip over there in two years' time in late June/July once GCSEs are over. You'll see more of your friend than you will at their wedding, and it will still be a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity for your DS.

I have taken my DC out of school for the odd day here and there for holidays but I think 2 weeks in Y9 is not a good idea

Does your school start GCSE work in Year 9? If it does, then definitely not.

If not, when exactly is the wedding? The difficulty of taking a 2 week break away from holidays is that he'll be back at school for 2 or 3 weeks before being off again which isn't great for a child who struggles with school. How would he feel about it? I'd have hated to have had that time off school at that age and would have got very stressed about it.

yes I think it would be 2 weeks off school realistically.

It's early October - so once they've settled back in after summer holidays but not close enough to October half term (ours starts 27th) that we can tie the 2 up.

I suppose we could do it over 1 week, but that would then be eaten up by flights there and back, internal flights (only on certain days of the week I'm told) and the wedding itself, there would be no time to see anything else. Plus jetlag. If we're travelling that far/paying that much it would be nice to have a few days to see a bit of the country.

GCSE's don't start until Y10 for us but he will be picking his options early November and a couple of the ones he wants have limited space so we've been warned (in not so many words) they will cherry pick the children that can do them so I guess I'd be worried it might affect whether he's chosen for them.

I also agree that it depends on where it’s going to be. When you say 2 weeks is it because you want to do a bit of sightseeing while there or the wedding festivities cover more then one day?

Sorry just saw that it’s October. It’s pretty productive time imo, also it seems that you do want to do some sightseeing so it could have been less then 2 weeks.
However it very much depends on the child. Some can cope well with self study so it won’t be such a big deal especially if you stay on top on everything for the rest of the time.

As long as you’re willing to work with DS and support him with anything he misses, do it. Y9 can be caught up on.
Travel is enriching and a fantastic way to broaden a child’s horizons, build confidence and resilience. For a kid who’s sometimes anxious about school, it could be hugely beneficial to help him see how big the world is beyond school!
I work in HE, so my opinion is based on how well students with more cultural capital, confidence and resilience do at uni.

In year 9 they cover a lot of ground in two weeks. Teachers won't tell you what your child has missed. They will just tell them to ask a classmate.

DD was an anxious pupil, and missing two weeks of school in year 9 would have sent her anxiety spiralling.

We declined a wedding in India when she was in year 10.

If he takes his options in November, and his preferred options are cherry picked, taking 2 weeks unauthorised leave the month before is not really showing commitment to the school or education, at a time we'd. you don't want to give them any reason not to pick your son.

Y9, in October? As a teacher I would say (although I'm obviously not allowed to) yep, fine, have a lovely time. Wish I was coming with you. If he's a good kid and keen to do my subject for GCSE I wouldn't hold this against you.

However, do not ask me to do any extra work whatsoever to accommodate this. I'm not providing work in advance, I'm not giving a list of what we are covering, I'm not suggesting reading or websites - all of which involves me in spending my time on a task I'm not doing for the rest of the class. He'll have to ask classmates when he gets back what they did and muddle through it. He probably won't miss anything vital (History) but I suspect in other subjects like Maths he'll find he's missed stuff he needs to progress to the next bit.

teacher here
go on the holiday. Unpopular opinion but I think fining parents is ridiculous

I couldn’t vote but if I could I’d say yes!

If he has a really good mate that can forward the work sheets or pages then I say go for it!
As long as you set time in the mornings and evenings to cover the missed work, it’ll be a great experience. You’ll also have the half term to catch up if needed. The school would want the best students taking the selections so as long as he’s doing well in his chosen subjects, 2 weeks shouldn’t be as bad as you think

Thank you all for your opinions. Unfortunately, husband has just been diagnosed with cancer following what we thought would be a very routine scan, so all travel plans on hold now anyway.

I am so sorry to read your update @abpsoton . I hope you have been given some hopeful treatment options. Take care, wishing you all well.

GCSE options may not start till year 10. But most schools start maths, English and science Work for GCSE'S in Year 9 due to the amount of content in the current GCSE'S. They have no choice or they wouldn't fit it in. Luckily they can still squeeze options into year 10&11.

Oh my gosh, @abpsoton - I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending your family all the very best x

I'm an attendance officer in a secondary school and we have children who are taken out for such long holidays, and generally speaking, there has been no real impact on the education of those children who otherwise have 100% attendance and they and their families are academically focused (homework always done, in high sets for subjects, only done once in their whole time in secondary school, etc.)
The problems arise in the children who are taken out of school regularly for holidays, take a couple of days before or after a school holiday, often take odd sick day. This behaviour is really disruptive to education and is clear to see in their attainment.
I would take my children out for a once in a lifetime holiday.

Your school will fine you.

So sorry to see your update, OP. All the best to you and yours