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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Boys Vs Mixed secondary schools

9 replies

driftingintheair · 08/06/2025 08:37

Has anyone got experience of their DS going from a mixed primary to a boys secondary? How did they find the transition to single sex? Whose choice was it to go to a boys-only school?

The reason I ask is that our y5 DS is at a mixed primary, has always played with girls as well as boys, and he would like to go to a mixed secondary. However, our nearest mixed school is massive and well-known for very mixed opinions on poor behaviour and the SEN support available (DS is waiting for a dyspraxia assessment, does affect some academic concerns). This school does well academically, excellent facilities and clubs etc on offer, and is a 10-minute walk away. The size and student behaviour is a big concern for us (I know all schools have behaviour issues but this one is notorious).

The other two mixed secondaries are a ‘no’ for various reasons. Which leaves the Boys secondary, which I also happen to work at (non-teaching, no contact with students). The glimpses I see of students, particularly the younger ones, are loud and boisterous behaviour which is absolutely not DS at all- he’s quiet and quite sensitive (obviously he’s younger and can change!). The school is half the size of our nearest mixed and is under-subscribed, facilities are good and clubs excellent. Behaviour is greatly improving under new Head, would be a 45 min walk or train/walk in 15 mins.

Anyway, I guess I’m just looking for the advantages/disadvantages of people’s actual experiences of their DS going from mixed to boys and was it the right thing to do.

We are visiting all the schools again this year and DS will get the final say but I’m torn on what’s best.

OP posts:
Burntsausages · 08/06/2025 12:16

My DCs went from mixed primary to ss secondary and honestly I don't think they (nor I!) gave it a second thought as it was the school itself/it's "offering" that was the attraction/key consideration. I don't think children really think that in-depth as to who they are in a classroom with so I don't think you'll have any issues on this front, but as with all advice, it's very much dependent on individual experiences and ours was a positive one.

buillonrouge · 08/06/2025 12:19

My children all went from mixed primary to SS secondary.Absolutely no regrets. They all have been happy and did well academically and socially.

TizerorFizz · 09/06/2025 04:06

Where I live there are 4 boys grammars out of 13. Parents really like them. It’s obviously not the case that boisterous boys all pass the 11 plus and quiet ones don’t! You just aren’t aware of the quiet ones at your school. They will be there! Some parents obviously prefer co-Ed but boys schools understand boys and no girl distractions. Well not in school. However if he prefers to go with his friends to a co-Ed, why not? However friendships change and so do interests so I’d look at far more than this.

yoddle · 09/06/2025 08:47

My DS went to a SS school from a mixed primary. I think there are a lot of plusses. His school does a lot of dance and drama and I think not having girls around allows boys to be a bit more relaxed about how they come across.

Annoyeddd · 09/06/2025 09:21

Btw it isn't necessarily your DS final say - unfortunately the LA and school will kick in and disagree with your preference.
So make sure he is happy with several schools

Rocknrollstar · 09/06/2025 09:43

Son and daughter both went from mixed primary to single sex secondary. They both thrived. DD was tired of boys messing around, as she put it, and we felt that DS needed the more disciplined atmosphere of a boys school.

mrssquidink · 09/06/2025 10:55

DS also went from mixed primary to single space secondary and it was fine. TBH I think years 7 to 9 are just a bit loud and obnoxious whether the school is mixed or single sex - DD’s all girls school didn’t seem that different.

sashh · 09/06/2025 11:01

Whether it is SS or not is irrelevant. Where your son will be happy and thrive is.

TizerorFizz · 10/06/2025 04:37

You cannot change the girls in a girls school or boys in a boys school but each school will have expertise that supports the sex ar the school. So Sport, ethos, friendships are slightly different but tailored to the needs of those in the school. My DD1 was tired of annoying boys too at age 11. Single sex was more about finding pupils like her without distractions. I’m sure the boys had their reasons for SS too!

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