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Secondary education

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Original poster

Marlborough College - rowdy?

30 replies

SurprisedSara · 20/05/2025 23:15

My DD is attending Marlborough College next year, she is entering at Sixth Form. She is very excited for the boarding environment, but I really can't help but be anything but nervous. I've heard stories of it being particularly rowdy and having a history of drinking and partying?

We were quite happy when she got in, though I'm sure admissions mustn't have been competitive as she didn't study or prepare at all for the exams. However, we are seriously doubting our decision to send her. Any advice appreciated.

DD is very sporty, outgoing and outdoorsy.

OP posts:
NottsNora · 20/05/2025 23:39

She’ll fit right in. Just make sure she is patient crossing the road.

TizerorFizz · 20/05/2025 23:53

@SurprisedSara Does she follow everyone she meets without thinking first? Is she easily led? If neither of these apply what does it matter what a minority do? You will always get a few noisy out-there types in (boarding) schools but do they drink and have parties in the boarding houses? Really? Of course dc might have parties as they will become 18 in the 6th form but attendance at parties is usually by invitation. Just make sure DD doesn’t fall in with the wrong crowd and get invited. If all goes completely wrong and she’s popular, don’t take her to the party. Unless it’s in the boarding house of course.

Original poster
SurprisedSara · 21/05/2025 00:19

TizerorFizz · 20/05/2025 23:53

@SurprisedSara Does she follow everyone she meets without thinking first? Is she easily led? If neither of these apply what does it matter what a minority do? You will always get a few noisy out-there types in (boarding) schools but do they drink and have parties in the boarding houses? Really? Of course dc might have parties as they will become 18 in the 6th form but attendance at parties is usually by invitation. Just make sure DD doesn’t fall in with the wrong crowd and get invited. If all goes completely wrong and she’s popular, don’t take her to the party. Unless it’s in the boarding house of course.

She is very confident in her decisions, I do trust her to make the right call. I suppose there won't be much room for partying as it is full boarding (hopefully). She's a focused girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
SurprisedSara · 21/05/2025 00:20

NottsNora · 20/05/2025 23:39

She’ll fit right in. Just make sure she is patient crossing the road.

Glad to hear! She has been fretting as we are not of the same economic background as most kids in attendance.

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 21/05/2025 07:42

What difference does economic background make? If dd is on a bursary, she’s not the only one. If you are paying fees, you’ve got serious spare money.

My DDs boarded and no one really cared about money in the 6th form. Plenty had way more money than we did! If your DD is going to be judgemental, and you don’t like other dc and families because they have more money than you, (all of them?) you should not have considered it. But you have and, frankly, you need to get over your pre conceptions. You must have met pupils when you looked round! Were they “normal” or not? By the way, even dc who go to parties are decent dc.

Original poster
SurprisedSara · 21/05/2025 09:48

TizerorFizz · 21/05/2025 07:42

What difference does economic background make? If dd is on a bursary, she’s not the only one. If you are paying fees, you’ve got serious spare money.

My DDs boarded and no one really cared about money in the 6th form. Plenty had way more money than we did! If your DD is going to be judgemental, and you don’t like other dc and families because they have more money than you, (all of them?) you should not have considered it. But you have and, frankly, you need to get over your pre conceptions. You must have met pupils when you looked round! Were they “normal” or not? By the way, even dc who go to parties are decent dc.

Well we just assumed that going from state school to boarding school may be a big adjustment. We have nothing but respect for those who have sent their children to Marlborough as we believe the gift of a good education is the best thing you can do for your child. Our DD is very sweet, not judgemental at all

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 21/05/2025 13:07

My DDs went from state to boarding. We found everyone pretty straightforward.
Why would she change personality at 16? If she’s easily led, take steps to be clear about expectations but it’s not fair to assume boarding dc have parties and drink and state pupils don’t. It’s simply not that divide and ditto with drugs. DD needs to be herself and stick to her ideals. Why would she change?

Foxesandsquirrels · 21/05/2025 16:59

Well she's 16 and going to a full boarding school full of very wealthy kids so I don't think it's unreasonable to worry! She will change I think that's a given. Your environment has a massive impact on how you develop as a person esp at that age. I'm sure there must be a reason you're sending her there and I'm sure you hope she changes in some ways, just in good ways!
I would be worried too Op, it's not exactly a bang average boarding school, it is quite elite but hopefully she will be ok. Try not to worry, there's alcohol and rowdy parties in all 6th forms, just depends what group you stick to.

TizerorFizz · 21/05/2025 18:31

@Foxesandsquirrels They actively chose this school! Why start worrying about wealthy dc now? They have £100,000 to send her there! They are rich if they are paying. And what’s wrong with being rich? It doesn’t make you horrible or scary! At boarding schools dc are pretty normal. We found far less boastful, less pretentious and more relaxed than state. Rich people tend not to get over envious or anxious because money compensates. Dd here should be herself and not judge others - parents ditto.

Gumbo · 21/05/2025 18:37

I live near it and all the students seem polite and pleasant. However, given that someone in my family was expelled from there (I can't elaborate) there can definitely be some wild kids there too...

But it's a great school!

stillavid · 21/05/2025 18:39

Well lots didn't get into the sixth form for September so she must be pretty bright.

It is a lovely school and big so am sure she will find her tribe there.

stillavid · 21/05/2025 18:40

Regards drinking and partying - maybe in the holidays but it is pretty regulated during term time.

Barbadossunset · 21/05/2025 19:00

My DDs boarded and no one really cared about money in the 6th form.

My dd went to Marlborough and when you’re living at close quarters with others, it’s personality that counts, not parents’ money. Also obviously there were some pupils with very rich parents but I don’t think there was boasting or flashing it around. (Though one Russian boy did have a spectacular birthday party with a famous pop star singing at it and very generous party bags. Dd came home with her eyes on stalks).

Though no doubt someone will be along soon to say their neighbour’s uncle’s boss’s dentist’s stepchildren went to public school and now they expect to be bowed down to as befits their superior status and insist in being carried everywhere in a sedan chair.

Barbadossunset · 21/05/2025 19:01

Also, op, I meant to say in my previous post, your dd will have a fabulous time and make lifelong friends.

FairlyFarleigh · 21/05/2025 19:07

There's no denying it's a very moneyed school and there will be some with too much spending power. But it's a mix, like any boarding school- for instance Marlborough traditionally supports CoE Clergy families with huge bursaries. Your DD will meet masses of very nice youngsters who work hard and play lots of sports and music. She will become more sophisticated and accomplished by virtue of opportunities Marlborough and her new schoolmates can offer, and that might well create distance from her current group of friends (and potentially some family members while she adjusts), so be aware of those tensions.

She will also almost certainly grow very long, shiny, swishy hair- if she doesn't have it already!

Very best of luck for this exciting adventure.

Original poster
SurprisedSara · 21/05/2025 19:25

FairlyFarleigh · 21/05/2025 19:07

There's no denying it's a very moneyed school and there will be some with too much spending power. But it's a mix, like any boarding school- for instance Marlborough traditionally supports CoE Clergy families with huge bursaries. Your DD will meet masses of very nice youngsters who work hard and play lots of sports and music. She will become more sophisticated and accomplished by virtue of opportunities Marlborough and her new schoolmates can offer, and that might well create distance from her current group of friends (and potentially some family members while she adjusts), so be aware of those tensions.

She will also almost certainly grow very long, shiny, swishy hair- if she doesn't have it already!

Very best of luck for this exciting adventure.

Haha yes, we did notice that many of the girls in attendance were very good looking and well groomed.

Thank you for the insights, I am sure Marlborough is very experienced in addmissions and that she will be going into a good cohort.

OP posts:
ThePoliteLion · 21/05/2025 20:25

MC has recently increased its number of bursaries, I’m told X

boardermum · 22/05/2025 08:01

Don't worry about a thing - it's the most amazing school! My dd has recently left after a dream 5 years there - not a day where she wasn't happy to be there. There's not a lot of time for partying when you're (properly) full boarding, as they are at MC. The odd weekend they'd head into London for a party or club, but it wasn't crazy partying all the time.

Money is absolutely not an issue; the kids don't care what the parents have, nor who the bursary kids are. We were funded by part military/bursary/own contribution and never experienced any snobbery, either from kids or other parents - we were accepted as well as anyone else and made some lovely friends.

Your daughter will have the best 2 years; I don't believe there's a happier school.

TizerorFizz · 22/05/2025 09:20

@GumboNot the one in the newspapers???? But most dc are perfectly decent!

GoldLash · 22/05/2025 09:25

Most won’t care about money just personality like every other school.

Gumbo · 22/05/2025 09:45

TizerorFizz · 22/05/2025 09:20

@GumboNot the one in the newspapers???? But most dc are perfectly decent!

No, it was a while ago....and plenty of money kept it out of the papers. Was funny though Grin

TizerorFizz · 22/05/2025 12:43

@Gumbo The one that was reported on happened because of the court case the parents brought I think. It’s fair to say these things are rare and the vast majority of dc are fine as friends and human beings. It’s important that dc are not judgemental and think just because people have more money than you, they are not worth knowing.

FairlyFarleigh · 22/05/2025 14:29

The other point about Marlborough- unlike lots of schools that started out all-boys but went co-ed- is that the girls are pretty much level pegging with the boys. They are equally important because they have the numbers (and the smarts) and I feel sure that this creates a more respectful culture toward girls and women than you might see where they are a small minority with a single boarding house and after-thought facilities.

TizerorFizz · 22/05/2025 14:33

It’s been coed for a long time now. It’s has a long time for girls to be equals! Since 1989!

Barbadossunset · 22/05/2025 16:38

They had girls in 6th form since 1968.