Am I mad? 11+/secondary school/moving catchments

Latecomer81 · 2025-05-07T11:28:23+00:00

I'm thinking of moving house to be in a better catchment for my son's secondary school. I live in a beautiful house, in a beautiful area, flanked by 2 outstanding grammar schools. I thought this was a prime spot, all my son had to do was pass the 11+... he has the ability, but the stress is causing him so much anxiety I can't bear it! I have tried to tell him it's ok if he doesn't pass but he knows as well as me that other 2 options in the area are so bad, which is often the case when you have grammars so close... So, I either push him to do the 11+ and potentially fail, giving him the trauma or move house! There is an outstanding secondary comp just beyond our catchment which we could live near... but is this crazy talk??? My oh thinks I'm mad and we just go for the nearest comp even though there is a county lines issue there and pretty bad GCSE pass rate. Such a stress! Any thoughts?

bobberra · 07/05/2025 12:51

I don't think you're mad! We live in a grammar school area and the competition is unreal! My kids are easily within the top few of their classes but they're up against other kids being tutored to within an inch of their lives from KS1 onwards, what's the point competing against that (unless you're willing to join them, which I'm not)? The stress of preparing for the test, the wait for results (for parents as well as the kids), and there is always some disappointment as either your child won't pass or their best friends will and there'll be stress over being split up to go to different schools. I hate the whole system. Oh and the fact that 9-10 year olds should be having fun being children and not worrying about tests, not understanding complex concepts, letting people down etc...

We are a little more fortunate as we have 2 comps in catchment and they are both good schools. The thing around here is that 80+% of kids tutor for the 11+ so the comps are still full of highly educated kids from nice backgrounds, just the ones who didn't score so well on the day!

Rant over 😅

Needlenardlenoo · 07/05/2025 13:05

Have you actually visited the other schools or are you going off hearsay?

Jellyjellyonaplate · 07/05/2025 13:07

Could you see if he passes and if not then move to the comp area close to the school to be number 1 one on the waiting list by the Sept of year 7?

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/05/2025 13:11

The downside of Grammars... where does everyone else go...

EdgarAllenRaven · 07/05/2025 13:16

If he has the ability he will pass.

Just go easy on him, let him take time off and do the bare minimum. Perhaps just a summer school on it, or some practice papers in September.
But don’t put any pressure on him.

Original poster

Latecomer81 · 07/05/2025 14:49

bobberra · 07/05/2025 12:51

I don't think you're mad! We live in a grammar school area and the competition is unreal! My kids are easily within the top few of their classes but they're up against other kids being tutored to within an inch of their lives from KS1 onwards, what's the point competing against that (unless you're willing to join them, which I'm not)? The stress of preparing for the test, the wait for results (for parents as well as the kids), and there is always some disappointment as either your child won't pass or their best friends will and there'll be stress over being split up to go to different schools. I hate the whole system. Oh and the fact that 9-10 year olds should be having fun being children and not worrying about tests, not understanding complex concepts, letting people down etc...

We are a little more fortunate as we have 2 comps in catchment and they are both good schools. The thing around here is that 80+% of kids tutor for the 11+ so the comps are still full of highly educated kids from nice backgrounds, just the ones who didn't score so well on the day!

Rant over 😅

I totally agree!

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Original poster

Latecomer81 · 07/05/2025 14:51

Needlenardlenoo · 07/05/2025 13:05

Have you actually visited the other schools or are you going off hearsay?

I'm mostly going off of Ofsted and then FB groups discussing.I will definitely go and visit though to make up my own mind

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Original poster

Latecomer81 · 07/05/2025 14:53

Jellyjellyonaplate · 07/05/2025 13:07

Could you see if he passes and if not then move to the comp area close to the school to be number 1 one on the waiting list by the Sept of year 7?

This could be an option, I'll discuss it with my OH. I was also thinking renting a flat in the catchment for 3 months when we apply this year and if he doesn't pass we will look at moving house in time for Sept 27. Seems mad, but he's my one and only child, and I want to do what's right by him. He hasn't had the best primary school experience so I want to get this one right!

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Needlenardlenoo · 07/05/2025 15:26

Yes do visit. One of them might have a grammar stream, for example. And if your child is anxious they may prefer to be a high achiever in a wider ability school. You can explore lots of options simultaneously.

andtheworldrollson · 07/05/2025 15:31

Reevaluate the existing secondary’s - you said they are poor because of the nearby grammers - does that just mean their average results are lower
in line with their intake , but bright kids still do well - or are they no hope zones

Newgirls · 07/05/2025 15:35

Don’t do the renting a flat thing. You have to show evidence that you live there - all bills etc and so many people lose places that way.

visit the schools and keep an open mind

RedSkyDelights · 07/05/2025 17:09

So he's only Year 4 currently (if you are looking at Sept 27 start)?

if he's already stressed about the 11+ I would definitely look at moving.

Why put your child through that if you don't have to?
(and why do people like the grammar system?)

Original poster

Latecomer81 · 07/05/2025 18:07

RedSkyDelights · 07/05/2025 17:09

So he's only Year 4 currently (if you are looking at Sept 27 start)?

if he's already stressed about the 11+ I would definitely look at moving.

Why put your child through that if you don't have to?
(and why do people like the grammar system?)

Oh I got confused on the dates, he's year 5 so will be taking it in Sept. Its only because the grammars are rates outstanding and the non grammars in catchment are ‘requires improvement’ and the other is a catholic all boys which doesn't appeal

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