Tiffin girls school

[igglepiggleadventures]

Changed my username so it's not too outing.

Child has a place at Tiffin Girls school that we have not been able to reject yet.
She also has an accepted independent school place - not going to say where but really a top 10 school in the UK. Ranking isn't so important to us but we know she needs to be in an academic environment and stretched.

DH and I always thought she would be better placed in an independent school, she is quite relaxed and needs to be challenged. She is bright and resilient, but not competitive at all and as a summer born still quite immature and needs a nurturing environment. She needs to be told to get things done. At least as parents that's what we thought and why we accepted the senior school of our choice. She has been going to a private school since reception and we have been very happy with all the school had to offer.

However DD is not so excited about the independent school. She wants to go to Tiffin. I think it comes from peer pressure (because everybody thinks it's such a great achievement) and a close friend going too. Also logistically very straightforward to commute, so she doesn't understand why we wouldn't let her go there. I don't think she understands well what differences there could be between a state and an independent school.

School fees have always been a stretch but we still can afford it. The current economic climate does worry me because what if one of us loses a job? There is no inheritance or support we could get from grandparents.

WWYD? I don't want to lose a term's fee so if we change our mind we need to make it now.

Hi, TGS does not post much on instagram these days but they have a Bluesky account and you can follow them there. Plenty of updates on different activities, trips, achievements, etc. Worth checking. Also - if you check TGS website, you will see a timetable of all extracurriculars there, I think the selection is great. My daughter is in year 7, she got offers from a few top independents but we selected Tiffin and are very happy with the school, academically and also with all extras. Daughter has a very nice friendship group there too.

Opportunities for sports matches. how good are the school orchestras/ensembles and how often they play together.. how much opportunity for drama and to be on stage (or work behind the stage).. are there team building trips beg of year 7.. do they have an actual MFL speaker who teaches them the language.. do they have sufficient opportunities for lab work in science.. any debating workshops or lessons.. what about textiles.. design.. technology.. or food tech.

I taught at a very standard comprehensive in quite a poor area with a very mixed intake... Tiffin it was not.

We offered all of those things except a debating lesson (and even then we had discussions in form time - but that's prob not what you mean).

There were opportunities in textiles, food tech, DT, lots of students took these for GCSE and did very well. Strong group of "actual MFL speakers" to teach French, German and Spanish. Lots of opps for sports matches. very strong drama offering with many chances to perform and work backstage.

So I am sure all of these are offered at Tiffin.

Go for Tiffin. I had one child at a top 10 private school and another at a grammar similar to Tiffin. Same quality of education. The music at the grammar was excellent, and the sport was good too, but you also have more time for music and sport out of school if you’re at a state school. I am all for trusting children to choose the right school for them. Tiffin won’t stretch her any less, and she’ll probably have a better shot at the top universities if she is coming from a state school.

Send her private. You’re not 100% convinced by TGS and the minor quibbles will end up worrying you. It’s a brilliant school but I don’t believe it will satisfy parents who would’ve deep down preferred an indie.

My daughter is Yr12 at Tiffin. She also had offers at Yr 7 for the top independents - we have never regretted choosing Tiffin. The education is of course excellent, but the music and drama also fantastic, and they seem to do well at sports too. Yes of course the facilities are not as shiny and top of the range as the private schools but bells and whistles aren't everything. And there are tiger parents but you're going to get that at the top independents too (possibly even more so as the fees shoot up and the pressure increases to get results). From our experience (we also have a child at a private secondary) the girls seem a lot more down to earth / less "alpha" than many of the girls I've encountered at private schools, with hugely wealthy families. Tiffin's pastoral care has been great, the school is well-run and there have been plenty of school trips. Good luck with your decision.

Yes there is as DS state as well

OP there are undoubtedly more opportunities at private but certainly state is not without sports fixtures, drama productions and actual MFL speakers!

@igglepiggleadventures
So what did your family decide in the end?

@555Stars we sat down with DD, looked at websites, extra curricular activities (TGS has an actual timetable for this term on their website and the options looked pretty decent to cover DD's interests, very helpful), social media accounts and the pictures, fees, commute, curriculum, university destinations, rankings, exam results, what other things we could do as a family or offer her if she goes to the grammar school, what we may need to sacrifice if she goes to the independent one (we did reassure her it's something we still could afford with almost no financial worries, in case she got worried about that) and so much more.
I tried to be as neutral as possible so she's not swayed either way (I know deep down I prefer the independent school, but the university destinations were really great at Tiffin, the easy commute was a big bonus and it being a free school was so tempting... so kept telling her I really liked both, which I truly did during the conversation). Got to the level where we even discussed that she might have to audition for the orchestra in the independent and not get in for the first few years, but she might pretty easily join it in Tiffin and actually feel good about being at a higher level. We also discussed the schools we rejected in March, and went over again the reasons that led us to these two that we have now. Also discussed what her current setting is closer to, and what benefitted her and what she might have missed out from being in that particular setting. In the end DD said she wanted to go to the independent school. I gave her another week to think it through and confirmed she hadn't changed her mind.
So the decision has been made and we're all very happy. We should have done this a lot sooner, and as a mum I feel bad to have kept her confused. Done and dusted now, and it now it feels more like we made the decision together.
I really appreciate the help from this thread, it was all very helpful for widening my narrow perspectives.

@igglepiggleadventures please say that you have remembered to reject the Tiffin offer formally, having finally made your decision?

I think this is terrible advice. If the parents decide on a school it is 100% their decision and their choice and responsibility for that should never be abdicated to a child.

My 10/11 year old “knew” which school she wanted. It didn’t work out so we moved her. At no point did I do anything other than blame myself for not sticking to my guns and sending her to the school she ended up in in the first place.

@igglepiggleadventures I would agree that an easy commute is more important that peer pressure - so often they make a whole new set of friends anyway!

Great decision. Please let the TGS place go asap!

Yes I have emailed the school.

@igglepiggleadventures That’s great news! That you all are very happy with the decision you have come to. It is a big decision and now you can relax knowing you all feel content with this choice.

Now you can spend the time enjoying these finals months & start getting excited about the new school. Honestly, I’m so glad all of it is over, I changed 2 days before the deadline and I’m so glad that I did!

Thanks for replying back and giving closure-something that is a rarity on here!

igglepiggleadventures - Apologies for changing the topic...pl can u advice which tutor, online website or material u used , we are targeting Tiffin Girls.

Any advise will be helpful .

@igglepiggleadventures - Apologies for changing the topic...pl can u advice which tutor, online website or material u used , we are targeting Tiffin Girls.
Any advise will be helpful .

I think the same as the lady above. You already seem to have decided. Things you say like 'we always thought she's a better fit for independent ' and comments about cultures and academics at the school and on the thread (of which there are none- just people trying to help you). Quite frankly how anyone can say their child is a 'fit for an Indepdent' is a broad stroke statement and I think does show some prejudices. The following comments I also agree are quite insulting, especially against people commenting to help you when you have missed vital info that's needed to advise such as which school etc. Quite frankly it sounds like your daughter is battling a prejudice you hold if I am being honest. It can be more obvious than you think and sounds like the school wouod be better off without you as a parent.

@igglepiggleadventures do you mind saying which indie school you chose?

@FitnessIsTheOnlyWealth we went with one of the top 10 private schools in the UK (similar to the Atom top 100 list shows you). A girls' school.
They're all very very similar (and also different) and DD had three schools from that list so choice was just based on preference and gut feel.