To move or not to move?

[DangusDownSouth]

So DH and I have wanted to move from the town we live in for a while now but something always comes up so we have to put it off (Covid, redundancies, etc) and now finally things have settled and we are ready to make the move happen. HOWEVER my DS is now in year 6 and getting ready to start secondary school.
We wanted to get everything in motion sooner so we could relocate and transition him in to year 7 in our new town but due to factors with DH's job we've had to wait and now DS has been allocated a place at the local secondary where all his friends are going. He has a close group of friends and is a happy, kind, creative kid. He has lived his whole life in this town. Neither myself or DH are originally from the town we are living in and neither of us are particularly attached to it. We ended up here by chance and never intended to stay as long as we have, we've always planned on it being temporary.
We've been wanting for years to move closer to our friends and to London for more opportunities for my career, DH's job already needs him there twice a week as well. We haven't got any friends where we live now, or social life and we've always been outsiders here.
I'm worried about moving DS now as the transition to secondary school and teenage years is such an important time in his life but at the same time we, his parents, aren't happy here, do we move and risk him being unsettled or stay and be again stuck in a place we don't want to be.

Any advice would be welcome really.

Tricky. We stayed and are moving now dc have finished secondary. I think I'd go as the friendships don't really last once they're in secondary. We haven't been happy here and it seems such a waste of life. He will adapt.

start of secondary is a good time to move

Where do you live now and where do you want to move to? You sound like you have not made your mind up on this.

The problem you have is the timing, you could move somewhere great but the local good secondary school might be oversubscribed and already have a waiting list.

Are you going to look at private school options?

How do the schools in the new area compare to the one you have been allocated? Is it likely your DS would get a place at the one you want? If there's a waiting list then you'd probably have to move really close to the school in order to get to the top of the waiting list.

Yes I agree that this is a good time to move. At any rate if you don't do it now or in the next year then you will end up waiting till post GCSEs which is another five years, as it's not a good idea to move in year 9 (option choices) and deffo not in year 10.

Where are you looking at moving to? Locals may know what the school sitch is.

I agree btw that IME anyway primary friendships don't always last in secondary.

I do think that if you wanted to move and you got good school options in the new area, moving to start a new school in Sept of Y7 would be ideal timing.

Have you done all your research, found an area, looked at secondary schools? If not you are going to have to move quickly.

We relocated a few years ago so that my youngest could start at his new primary school in the September. We put our house on the market in April and moved the last week in August and we had a small chain. The worst thing about the move was for the first year my DC was allocated a poor school - that was the only school in the borough that had spare spaces in his year group. It took a year before another school had space and we could move him, at this point we were on the verge of sending him to private school as we didn't want to leave him in that place.

You need to have a plan in case you get allocated the worst school in the borough. My scenario was KS1 primary, I think a rubbish secondary school would have more impact

Friendships from primary rarely last in secondary school. Depends on exactly where and what school, but typically a secondary school will have intake from 10-20 primary schools and each bunch of kids who knew eachother before will be spread across 8 classes and will barely see each other. New groups form and by 6 weeks in there will be very little evidence of who knew who before.

If you can move to somewhere where you can be sure of a place at a decent school in before September, then this summer is a great time to move.

Thank you for all the replies.

We have a general idea of where we want to move to, currently we are in Lincolnshire and we are aiming for someplace in Surrey but we are a bit flexible on this as long as the distance to friends/work isn't more than an hour (they are mostly around South London/Surrey) it's all just a matter of timing, once my DH's contract is sorted at work we can put our house up and start looking into locations and schools. I think I've just been having doubts as all the Y6 class is really close and they are beginning to do all the fun end of year stuff/transition prep and it's quite emotional. We've got to think practically though, do we want to be tied to this area until after his GCSEs (or forever) or just go now and see what happens

Y6 is a really happy year for most DC.

The fact is though, that at secondary school, they get separated and make new friends - even close year groups

Another vote for move. The time is now.