Moving from the US to the UK and need advice/tips/sanity check

[Transatlanticpanic]

We're in the process of moving from the US to the UK with our two kids (13 yo girl and 11 yo boy). My husband is British and the we've spent a lot of time in the UK over the last decade, but I'm also aware that living there will be a different experience altogether. I'd love to minimize the bumps as much as possible and find a location/school that can make the transition easy. With that said, can anyone recommend areas/villages/schools that they've been happy with? Some parameters that we're hoping to follow:

-While we're looking to live in a village, we'd like to stay within an hour or so of London.
-We live in a very diverse area right now, and we'd love to see that in where we end up as well.
-We'd love a co-ed secondary school where they could attend together. Also, I know that uniforms are fairly standard across secondary, but if anyone can recommend a school that don't require them (and aren't in London!), it would be appreciated.

Thank you!

What’s the main reason for no uniform- apart from that’s how it is in the USA?

Here in England the vast majority of schools have uniforms

The DC wearing a school uniform honestly makes things way less complicated each day!

Will either of you be working in London ,if so whereabouts to take into account for the hour’s commute. Agree villages, and much of SE, is not particularly diverse. Do you have a budget in mind for housing?

It’s how it is in much if not most of Europe too. I don’t really know what it is about Britain that makes school uniform so very necessary, when other countries manage fine, if not better, without it.

Are you wanting state only or open to independents?

The uniform preference will probably need to be tossed out for state secondary schools unfortunately. I'm an American ex-pat and hate the British attachment to overly formal (and often expensive and impractical) school uniforms but there are almost no state secondaries without them until the students reach 16+ level (Y12&13 in the UK, the equivalent of 11th and 12th grade in the US). If you're willing to go private there are some non-uniform schools.

Uniforms also vary pretty widely and some are closer to strict dress codes than traditional uniforms. I have DC at a school where ties have to be worn with dress shirts and the younger students wear branded blazers and jumpers, but they get to pick their own trousers/shorts, skirts and white blouses/shirts and after age 13 they also get to wear their choice of jacket/blazer and jumpers. It's a reasonable compromise for an English school. And many schools go to a "business attire" dress code rather than a uniform at 16+, so the uniforms may be short-lived.

I think the higher priority needs to be academics for your 13 year old. What year would you expect them to enter?

I agree with others, I would ditch the no uniform requirement as that will massively limit your options. Uniform is OK really IMHO.

Tho actually there is a secondary school near me where the students can wear what they want, and they don't seem to burst into flames as a consequence. I sometimes drive past them going to school and they all wear joggers (boys) or jeans (girls) with T shirts and hoodies. So pretty much a uniform anyway.

I also agree that a village, even one an hour from London (and do you mean an hour, door to door, from your place of work? Because that will limit you a fair bit) is unlikely to be very diverse.

If I were you I would look at a suburb of London which is likely to be diverse, have good schools, and be near enough for what I presume is a commute to work.

YY what is your budget for housing? And are you looking for state schools (free) or private (fee-paying)? Bear in mind that the latter will most likely cost upwards of £20k pa for each child.

Weirdly North London has a fair number of non uniform stats secondaries in a close proximity. Fortismere (co-ed), Parliament Hill (Girls), Camden Girls (girls) and Acland Burghley (coed) all within a mile of each other.

I agree with others that looking for a non-uniform school will massively limit your choices and might be unworkable if you are looking for state places (so you will get allocated to wherever there is a space). I don’t like uniform fwiw but it is hard to avoid. Your kids probably hate the thought of it but actually avoiding having to think about what are the “right” trainers in a different country with a different fashion culture to what they are used to might be easier. They can just wear the same old unfashionable uniform as everyone else.

I also agree that finding a diverse village could be a tall order. Towns might work better. Just outside London places like Sevenoaks and Reigate in the south are pretty diverse and would be within an hour of most central parts of London.

These threads crack me up. I foresee a new section of disillusioned US immigrants in the not too distant future. Diverse chocolate box English village with progressive uniform policies spitting distance from W1 doesn’t exist. Watch Little Britain and take heed.

Your best bet will be to rent as close as possible to the school you pick in order to be number 1 on the waiting list for your 13yo. Then once you have a sibling at the school you could move a little further away.

in the UK it’s very unusual to get into a school just because you live “in catchment”, they need to actually have a space come up which generally requires someone to leave.

Maybe try around milton keynes? MK itself is very diverse and has a number of market towns and villages around it. Also fast trains into London...

Like others have asked, more details would help to refine

West Sussex is good for London and the Coast.
towns (some have satellite villages but honestly a town will feel like a village from your own experience!).
id look at Horsham, Haywards Heath, East Grinstead and not far from Sussex is Tunbridge Wells or smaller places such as Westerham or maybe Dorking. All good places, but near London and Gatwick as a major airport.
just put uniform thoughts aside, if it’s state schools the provision is more important and it isn’t for long given the ages. Most sixth form and colleges are non uniform.
if it’s private, there are lots of options but it really is so personal that I would focus on the provision before the outfit!!!!!

What's your approximate budget for a house?

It's important you mention this as it varies wildly in different places and you'll save a whole lot of time if people can suggest places that are right for your budget.

I don't know your budget - but if you have serious money, look at Summertown in north Oxford and the Cherwell School which is a co-ed state school without uniform (and it's excellent). Summertown is a really lovely place to live, hence the money issue. It isn't officially a village, but I think it has that cosy feel while in fact being a suburb of a small city meaning that yiu have stuff like a handy swimming pool, lots of theatres and concerts within a short bus ride/cycle ride etc. Imo there are quite a few places like it in the UK if you're rich enough.

The commute is longer than an hour - but the train itself from main Oxford station is an hour, or Oxford Parkway in the north.

The British obsession with uniform is ludicrous but it may be better just to see it as one of those cultural quirks that every country has.

When do you plan to move, and is your 13 year old 14 this year or next?

I ask as if she turns 14 before September then she'll be starting year 10 - which is the begining of GCSEs - in September

But if she's still 13 in September then she'll be going into year 9 and so not he starting GCSEs yet.

If I was moving at this age, I'd want to minimise the disruption in GCSE years if possible, so maybe consider renting first so you can get into the school you want rather than waiting to find the perfect house to buy. (Assuming you are thinking of buying?)

You need your home to be your primary residence (i.e. be registered for paying council tax there) to be within catchment for the school.

People in the UK can't just rent a house next to a school they like while they own a house elsewhere (although people do try!)

But as you're moving from abroad you do have the option open to you as it'd be your only UK residence, so you could use this to your advantage by renting a house really near to the school you want.

When it comes to getting into a state school outside of the usual admissions process, (which you will be as kids usually put their name down for the school they want towards the beginning of year 6) then, if the school you want is full, you have to go on a waiting list, which is ordered by priority, not how long you've been on the list. Distance to the school is one of the major factors so it's really important.

It could be a good idea to rent anyway, to get to know the place first before committing to buying. We did this when we moved to a new town and I'm glad we did as we wouldn't have known about the lovely part of town we ended up buying in.

A downside if this plan though is rents are really expensive just now - it's cheaper in terms of monthly payments to pay a mortgage. However if you can afford to do so, it could work well for you.

Regarding your 11 year old, you've just missed the standard admissions process for him, but if he's turning 12 after September, and so about to start year 7 (the first year at secondary) and if you're moving before September then he will be able to apply as a late admission. Basically there's quite a bit of movement in schools at the beginning of secondary and there's a better chance of getting into the school you want then. Once you have one child at a school, for most schools that makes it easier to get the other child in, as for most (not all) state schools having a sibling there puts you to near the top of the waiting list, if there is one.

Good luck for the move OP! There are lots of lovely places to live here, and some stunning countryside, I hope you enjoy your UK adventure.

We live close to Horsham and I love it but I wouldn’t call it diverse at all! However it does have several secondary schools that are all considered very good and great links to London (depending exactly where in London you need to be of course).
Someone asked earlier what the OP means by diverse and I think that’s an important question?
I hate school uniforms but I absolutely would abandon that criteria as it’s going to make it almost impossible.

Good schools are oversubscribed. If you're not applying for standard Year 7 entry (which you're not) then you'll get very little choice. You might get lucky to have a space open up in a good school, but unlikely to have two spaces in the two year groups you need.

In a proper village, you'd probably only have school transport to your nearest school. If they have to allocate you a school further away then I'm sure what the transport situation would be. Don't expect workable public transport.

If you have the funds for private, you'll have much more choice. You might end up with a place you're happy with for the younger one in a state school, and then have to pay private for the older one until Sixth Form (20-25k a year) which might be a manageable compromise for you. Be wary of a school that seems desperate to recruit you - lots of private schools are in very precarious financial situations at the moment.

Ps my rural village has become much more diverse over the last 10 years (both in terms of different ethnicities of British people, and also different nationalities), and our nearest market town is really quite mixed.

I don't think it's true to say it's unlikely to get into a good school. It really depends where you are and how many decent schools there are around.

In my town for example, the good schools are oversubscribed in September of admissions year, sure. But if you live relatively near the school you want to move into a place usually comes up before too long. And then once you have one sibling in, the other is jumped to near the top of the queue.

There may be - say - 5 people on the waiting list ahead of you, but they all need to actually want to move when a place comes up. It's not uncommon for people to turn those places down once they actually get to the top of the list and have to decide if they actually want it.

I agree that’s a generalisation. Previous poster mentioned Horsham- 4 secondary schools in the town and I believe all are considered good schools so the chance of getting a place at one is decent I imagine. However you might end up with kids at different schools I imagine

It’s a good point re year group for your older DC @Transatlanticpanic

If she is 14 before September she would be in year 9 now and year 10 in September – and thus about to start her GCSEs. She would have chosen options by now and so it might a) be harder to find a school as fewer people are likely to move at the end of year 9 and b) mean a compromise on subjects studied, as she might have to fit in with what was available.

If she is not 14 until after Sept 1 then she would be in year 9 in Sept and it is not such a concern.

I agree btw that while it is not always possible to have a spot in your first choice of school, if you pick an area with good schools overall (which I appreciate is what you have asked!) then the chances are good you will get a decent school. The LA has to offer you a place. Might be that your DC are at different schools tho but that's not uncommon for secondary.

Are you thinking about private or state schools?
Have you got jobs yet that you need to commute to?
Have you family/friends you want
to be near?
What is your budget?
When are you moving?

Why on earth would you want a village with teenagers?

We live in one that is less than an hour from London. The only diversity is the Indian takeaway and their staff.

There is nothing for the kids to do locally - most of the teens seem to sit and smoke dope and flirt with each other in the churchyard, set fire to things and shoplift in the local shop. I've already called the police 6 times so far this year for antisocial behaviour issues.

Nearest school is almost an hour travel by bus that goes all round the villages.

Your children will not thank you for chocolate box views, and you will be a permanent taxi service.

Ditch the non-uniform idea, you won't have that much luxury of choice. Just getting both kids into one decent school will be hard enough.

This is the most realistic answer on this whole thread 😂 welcome to England OP 😅

Yes as someone who grew up in a tiny village, I cannot tell you how much I longed to live even in the small town where I went to school!

I agree with teens you need good communications to what they want to do. Lots of London has a genuine villagey feel tbh as long as you have the £££. Or yy to a home counties town – if you can say where in London you need to get to @Transatlanticpanic and how often (daily/one-weekly commute?) then people can perhaps suggest some areas – it makes quite a difference which side of London you are and need to get to if that makes sense.

Is that an hour driving, or public transport? There are some super fast train lines that mean you can do Cambridge to London in under an hour, but the drive would be 1.5 to 2 hrs from the centre of London.

Public transport can be crushingly expensive - e.g a last minute train between Birmingham and London in peak hours, that only takes 90mins, will set you back the best part of £300 return. Versus Norwich to London, 2 hrs at £70 return. So it's not even just about distance.

Good luck on the no uniform thing - would relegate that very strongly to a non consideration. Definitely target quality of school first

Diversity - the UK population is only c15% ethnic minority of all types of minority. The highest concentrations of minorities are in cities which by default makes non urban areas very very non diverse. You get diversity in the form of alternative communities / high levels of LGBT engagement in places like Brighton and Hove, which I think are c an hour from London and a lot of people love

Oh gosh OP you are asking for a lot of unlikely things.

why a village as PP said? This is social suicide for a teenager.

also the uniform thing is silly. You have to accept there will be changes when you move countries. Uniforms are normal in schools here