Dulwich college or Alleyn’s for non sporty boy

[Bubblesafter5always]

DS is in year 5 and starting to look at schools. He is a gentle creative,
quiet and bright boy. He isn’t musical but does enjoy doing drama but doesn’t do LAMDA etc. He enjoys participating in cricket,rugby and swimming although doesn’t like football at all.

Alleyn’s is much higher on the league tables than DC. One is coed and one isn’t. Not a big factor.

Which school will be better suited to him? Dulwich is much larger and that scares me a bit but larger pool
of boys to find his tribe? Do most DC boys apply to go there for the sport? Will he be teased if he is not as brilliant as the Surrey players or academy football players?

Both schools are much of a muchness in the league tables.
There are sporty and non sporty kids at both, extra curriculars at both.
If your kid is lucky enough to get offers from both, go with his choice (or with whichever gives a financial incentive!). They are very similar, broadly, and they all know each other by around Y10/11 when they start socialising properly.
FWIW I have a very unsporty geeky oddball who is now enjoying DC life, but he'd have taken a while to find his feet anywhere (ND).

@Llamasarellovely this is super helpful thank you. Is there any nastiness between the boys at DC with the sporty and non sporty boys? Ie do they get teased for not being sporty? How is bullying at DC?

Have also heard that at DC there are fixtures every Saturday that everyone needs to participate in even if you don’t enjoy sport where at Alleyn’s it is optional. Was your son ok with this and do they make it enjoyable?

Do DC foster kids who are more creative(Dt and art) or just focus on the sport side? Alleyn’s is know for the creative and dramas and don’t want my son to loose his passion for his creativeness.

amazing to hear Your son is super happy at DC.

is it a super busy school with all the boys or do they all know each other?

thank yiu

I have two sons at DC and they have all sorts of friends. My older, previously academic but non-sporty, boy has now found talents in the non-core sports, has blossomed in Art and DT and does all sorts of random things due to the sheer number of opportunities available. The boys seem to be generally kind to each other and the one instance of unkindness to my older son that happened on Whatsapp was dealt with immediately by the school. It's a very broad church and so diverse.
The Saturday fixtures are great to get to know other parents. The school fields teams down to F so it is really inclusive and the boys really bond with their teammates. My younger son's year group regularly get a thrashing in football by the sportier schools so it is definitely character building!

@MellowStork thank you super helpful to know there is space for every type of boy to be enjoy himself at the school aswell as be creative as you want. Son is very into dt so keen to explore this. Sounds like they have pastoral care sorted aswell if they sort out bullying immediately.

are most of the fixtures at far away schools in Surrey etc ok a Saturday or mostly whitgift etc schools?

@MellowStork can I ask why you chose DC for your academic non sporty child and not Alleyn’s or other school?

My son never does Sat fixtures, eats into his valuable Warhammer painting time 😀 (see, geeky). He deliberately chose sports options that make fixtures less likely. I wish he hadn't but I have enough battles on my hands.
Bullying, yes there is some, but a friend with a son at Alleyns has had real problems (as has one with a DD at jags), i don't think DC is any worse, or any better, than its cohort TBH. My kid has always been low level bullied because he is ND (and odd). DC do try, with small groups for the social misfits to help them socialise more "normally" but there's only so much they can do. I haven't noticed anything Adolescence-like!

We spoke with lots of different people who had sons similar to ours and they all had a great time at Dulwich. We did not like Alleyn's much - just a feeling thing. Both boys had a variety of offers, including grammar, but DC ticked all our boxes.
There is also a lot to be said for a pupil being in the top twenty-five percent of the cohort academically. That said, my boys will never be top of their class as there are some seriously bright and motivated boys.

Meant to add - there is one 'far away' fixture, but the boys go on the school coach for that one. There is always a 'meet at school and take the bus' option. Nearly all the fixtures are Whitgift, KCS etc so easy to get to for away matches.

@Llamasarellovely do they all not need to do football rugby cricket etc in hear 7 and 8?

its a crazy world we live in and all
we want to do i protect our kids.
there are just some super nasty kids out there. Got a huge fright watching adolescence and felt I had serious blinkers on !

@MellowStork vrdat to know don’t have to be driving all that way if there is a far away fixture! Pictured in my mind will be spending alot of time driving to fixtures 1 hour plus away.

was looking at the league tables and dc always does ok with gcse results better than Alleyn’s and whitgift etc but then a level results are worse? Do you know why this happens?

is the environment super ladish and boyish?

I have 2 boys at DC and have also just watched adolescence. I came out of it very grateful that mine are at DC.

It is a really lovely environment; there is nothing like the chaos or roughness of the school shown in adolescence and I do not feel that my kids are being forced (by the school or their peers) to grow up too fast. There has been the odd falling out, as you’d expect, but I’m not aware of any bullying and generally mine are both extremely happy there.

Theres a huge diversity of interest there and it’s really not just about the sporty kids, and for those who are less sporty there are still opportunities to join in. It’s also worth saying that kids do change their minds about what they like from time to time - so mine were both convinced that they hated cricket but now absolutely love it. You never know!

We didn’t go for Alleyns because, like another PP, we didn’t like the feel of it. It came across as much more of an academic hothouse whereas DC placed the focus on nurturing the boys. That’s not to say that DC don’t get good results - they are excellent and there are some seriously intelligent and interesting kids there - but they wear their academic expectations much more lightly.

@AgricolaOrBed thank you. Have heard lots of people mention there is a space for everyone as so many interest, societies and clubs. the thing that scares me is the large number of boys. I know how boys can be sometimes and just fear a more gentle quiet boy will just fade away at a school that size where Alleyn’s will be more nurturing?

are both your boys sporty? I know you mentioned they were not interested in cricket before but now enjoy it but are they more into rugby or football or athletics or basketball? Is the non sporty boys in the majority at the school as most boys that go there enjoy sport even though they not county or a team level?

is Alleyn’s more for kids who enjoy drama etc? Would this not be the right school for someone who isn’t into drama or musical?

The thing you have to remember is that only a few boys are genuinely excellent at sports. Most at DC are average, but are given lots of opportunities to play and improve. But it is not a school full of sportsmen - the school is encouraging of physical activity and has great facilities but is populated by a real mix of personalities. I’m never sure why people think otherwise!

Mine are a bit sporty but also quite shy and nerdy. Love football and cricket, hate rugby. Love gaming. One is very musical and has endless music related gatherings and opportunities. They are not loud or particularly confident kids but found their tribes quite easily.

I can’t really speak to the Alleyns experience but we chose DC exactly because our impression was that it would be more nurturing than Alleyns and that they were more interested in producing rounded humans than exam results. I think there’s not much difference in size - they’re both big schools with large campuses.

I must also say that being single sex has in my experience kept things simpler, certainly in the lower and middle school - their experience is all quite straightforward and I think it has preserved their childhood for a bit longer.

@Bubblesafter5always we ended up touring Dulwich sport facilities with the head of sport last year, and I directly asked him about how non sporty boys managed. He was very encouraging, saying there was something for everyone, and showed us things like the cycling studio with disco lights. My non sporty DS was very impressed, as was I

@Solasum did your Ds end up at Dulwich and is he happy?

@Bubblesafter5always he hasn’t started yet

have direct experience of both schools - albeit a dd at Alleyns.

DS (at DC) was not a sporty kid! He did get roped in to rugby E team fixtures for some Saturdays in year 7 and year 8 but nothing after that. Despite his non sporty nature he quite enjoyed it - he met other kids and they developed quite a good little team spirit.

What DC really did for him was offer lots of clubs, extra curricular stuff and enable him to find his own niche. He enjoyed the choir - and had friends who did CCF, drama, rowing, orchestra. The beauty of a big school is that there are more possibilities.

I personally think the academics were better at DC. The teachers were without fail inspirational subject matter experts. Got a question about something related to my subject? Come and see me at lunch and we'll go through it. Interested in engineering? Come and join one of the lunch time engineering clubs. (Lunch time was 90 minutes specifically to enable this.

Alleyns is also a great school. Has a different atmosphere IMO but dd was v happy there.

For DS? I would 100% choose DC again.

OP if your ds likes drama - have you seen the DC facilities? There are house drama and year group drama annual competitions and there are regular productions by lower, middle and upper school.

It might be helpful OP for you to take a look at DC’s Twitter feed. They’re pretty good at celebrating a whole range of activities which should give you a more three dimensional sense of what’s on offer.

I also agree with @ChnandlerBong that the teaching is really great (and didn’t mean to suggest otherwise). I very much like however that they manage to teach well and enthusiastically without making the kids feel as though they’re under inordinate amounts of pressure. Both of mine are doing well and are completely relaxed. The school achieves a huge amount without feeling like a hothouse.

https://x.com/dulwichcollege?s=21&t=heP30se0v_-Z050x9AXNmg

If you are concerned about the topics which the tv programme "adolescence" focus on, then I would suggest doing a google search on Dulwich College, as this establishment was highlighted a few years ago on the website "everyone's invited".

I think actual references to Dulwich college have probably now been removed but you will find some articles still available which will explain.

I would be asking questions to the leadership team about how they have addressed issues raised.

Show me you don't have a child at DC without telling me 🤣

Good Lord, do you seriously think they haven't addressed this topic. Repeatedly. Seriously?

You're right, I don't have a child at this school, but neither does the OP, so they might be unaware of the history.

You say this has been addressed, which is great & what I was suggesting the OP check.

Why so defensive?

Oh Lord not defensive, just a bit eye rolly. It was literally covered weekly. So many talks, so many letters, so much discussion with the boys and parents. Joe Spence took it so seriously.
As it was at Alleyns, St D's, all the local schools with boys.