Bullying at secondary schools

[JollyDenimPanda]

My grandson started secondary school last year, he is a bright, intelligent boy but his best attribute is his kind nature. I took him to London to go Hamleys toy shop a few years ago but after seeing homeless he insisted that instead of a toy we buy McDonald's and give them out to the homeless. Since going to secondary school he has been bullied firstly by group of girls who even followed him home and shouted threats and abuse school did nothing. He has got so many headmasters awards and got all A's in his exams as he tries so hard, but even teachers bully him, one teacher told him he was useless. Last week a 14 year old boy was threatening a pupil with knife when his parents went in to complain the boy threatened them, he has been expelled from multiple schools but at my grandson's school 5 day exclusion. I am seriously thinking of getting him a stab vest or moving him to home schooling

And this is why parents move to private schools. If children behaved like that they’d be expelled. But in the state system it’s so much harder to get rid of kids.

This is also one of the reasons why so many people are moving to home education too.

Schools are not safe. This is the third thread like this I’ve read on here in 24 hours.

I’m so sorry @JollyDenimPanda your poor boy. I’d be raising hell if this was my kid. If this was a friend or a partner what would you do?

Maybe you could look for a different school that deals with this kind of issues better and move him there? Sorry to hear about your grandson, he doesn't deserve this.

Just to echo PPs, this is why many parents choose independent or home schooling! Then get vilified for doing so.

He doesn't deserve it especially as he just became teenager which is difficult with body changes and hormones. A lot of this is due to parents, they show off when their child misbehaves at teachers and other parents thus enabling their child's bad behaviour. Personally I think school should have reported his behaviour to police before he does stab someone with nothing being done why would he change his behaviour it just gives him message he can do what he likes.

No child deserves it!

I would report them to police, so they get help and to safe guard the public.

They are under 16. Police probably won't do much. If you are concerned then move your grandchild to a different school

You won't change the culture in the school. I'd try him at one more school to see if things improve, then if not, I'd homeschool. No matter how much his education suffers I would not let a child be badly bullied. They will suffer in ways that are much less easy to sorf out in later life than crap GCSEs. I'd also try and get him into as many out of school activities as possible. If the bullying continues outside of school I'd genuinely consider moving to another area.

Id home school him if you can. I was bullied I've always said I would homeschool mine if they get bullied .

Maybe it's time to change school culture, nice kind intelligent children shouldn't be second place, we need to speak up otherwise the nasty children win, the bullying teachers win
Why should the great children have to move school or be home schooled potentially destroying their potential or should we let the nasty bullies win. This is not acceptable

The system is set up for the bullies to rule the roost when they and their parents can shout and swear at the teachers without anything happening. I agree with others, this and SEN is why kids go to private and people move to grammar areas. It sounds as though he might be able to pass to get in if that is an option, or pay for a private. Most are miles better than a state comp for behaviour and it sounds as though he would flourish.

Absolutely agree. But unfortunately this isn't going to happen quickly enough for your son. Is there another decent school within reasonable distance?

So what are you going to do to change school culture? You think a school will listen to you?

I wish there was, but I think the issue needs to get parents together and get ofstead to do something, getting good results should not be the aim it should be that children have a safe and supported environment so they reach their full potential not sure exactly how to do this but going to try to work out plan

But schools are judged on results so until you change that then that will always be the priority.

Then we have to change it exams results should be secondary to ensuring that they deliver well rounded, mentally and strong youths.

This is why so many parents go private or choose to home ed instead. Some schools are unfit for purpose and actually dangerous for kids. I'm convinced it's a main cause of why so many teenagers are disengaged from education and/or are suffering mental health issues. Many schools are toxic.

I started secondary as a straight A* pupil and left after 5 years without a single pass at GCSE. My grades went down a level at each year due to horrendous bullying (verbal and physical, including fag burns, property damage and theft (coat, bag etc)). Reported to teachers many times but they just did the usual victim blaming of "ignore them", or "fight back" etc. Some teachers continued to sit me on the same tables or in the same groups as the bullies I'd reported to them, but they clearly thought they could "toughen" me up by making me work with the bullies. Complete and utter dicks - the lot of them - teachers and bullies.

I'd never put my son through that and we carefully chose the school for him, but we'd both said we'd pull him out in a heartbeat at the first sign of any bullying. One of the reasons we choose his school was that the head and the teachers were hot on bullying and properly dealing with the bullies - and that's exactly what happened in reality - it was the bullies who were taken out of class and challenged, and punished as necessary! We choose well!

I agree with you but good luck because noone in a position to change anything is listening!