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Secondary education

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Original poster

How to handle parents evening with Maths teacher

31 replies

LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 14:34

Hi everyone. I'm after some advice in how to handle an upcoming parents evening appointment with my daughter's maths teacher.

She's in Year 7, so this will be her first parents evening in this school. It's a virtual one as the school is undergoing some work and the car park is not usable.

The school encourage students to be present for each meeting.

She has had an issue with confidence in maths since year 5. And then SATS in year 6 really cemented the issue. I worked with the year 6 teacher and each day she sent all her maths work home, so any areas she had struggled with, we could go through at her own pace. Her SATS results in maths were excellent, but she really did put the work in.

Fast forward to secondary school, she has settled in well and is enjoying school overall, but absolutely hates her maths teacher. (She is really happy with all her other subject teachers).

She's been put in the top set for maths, but the teacher is well known for being difficult. The parents have a private Facebook group for each year group and his name has come up a few times. Concerns around him singling kids out in front of the class. The kids are supposed to tell him if they haven't understood anything, but if they do, he tells them off, so they all just stay quiet.

I'd appreciate some pointers in how to handle him. I am not confrontational, and there hasn't been a specific incident that I could raise, but I want to let him know that my daughter isn't responding to his brand of teaching. She is basically just scared of being the next kid to be picked on. And given that she will be at the meeting, I want her to feel that we are advocating for her.

Any tips greatfully received.

OP posts:
BoundaryGirl3939 · 05/03/2025 14:39

The teacher is not going to change his style of teaching at this stage. Could you look into grinds to up her confidence? Secondary school can be a different ball game as she is far more anonymous. Could you ask him to advise you on what you could do to help her? I would not refer to his teaching style.

Octavia64 · 05/03/2025 14:50

Hmm.

When you say there hasn't been a specific incident, but there are concerns about him singling out children, what sort of thing are you talking about?

It's normal in most classrooms for the teacher to ask questions and choose children to answer them. In some classrooms this is done randomly (via the lollipop stick method or others) but in other classrooms the teacher will focus questions for particular students.

Saying you don't like his teaching style is unlikely to get you anywhere.

You could try saying that your DD has had issues with confidence in the past and you would appreciate him suppporting her in developing that.

I was a maths teacher for many years, and it's quite common for teachers who mostly teach older students and/or higher ability students to have a style that year 7s struggle with.

Usually they appreciate it a lot more when they are older!

TeenToTwenties · 05/03/2025 14:54

Why not say it is too fast paced, you ate having to support behind the scenes, and please can she move down a set?

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 14:58

Why not be honest? “Mr Maths, in our Y7 Facebook group lots of parents have complained about your style of teaching - and my DD doesn’t like you”.
Gossiping about a teacher in a Facebook / WhatsApp group isn’t going to change anything. If you’re concerned, speak to the Head of year.

SE13Mummy · 05/03/2025 15:52

Talk to your DD first and let her know you'd like to bring up the idea of her being moved into a different set because the pace and style of the top set isn't working for her. Given she needed to revisit everything on a 1:1 basis during Y6 maths, it's not unexpected that Y7 maths may feel hard. A change of sets may not be able to happen immediately but it may help her confidence to ask for a set move rather than being moved into a lower set because she's struggling. At my DCs' school the maths sets are fairly fluid even throughout Y11. There is a definite top set but the next set seems to have a number of students who outperform the top set in mock exams etc. suggesting the different delivery style and pace is working well for them.

Thatcannotberight · 05/03/2025 16:50

This absolutely could have been my yr 7 son last year. Top set maths teacher is vile. He's in the next set down this year, sneerily agreed by vile Top Set teacher at f2f parents evening last year. He's much happier, doing well in classes, still needs a bit of help with homework, but definitely the right decision.

Original poster
LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 17:30

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the responses.

I haven't gotten involved in the Facebook stuff, its not really my style, but the things being said on there have correlated with what my daughter has said.

The singling out thing - it's not asking questions, it sounds like quite nasty comments about individual children. At the moment, it seems like it's one particular boy who is getting the brunt of it, but my daughter can be quite anxious and she worries he will turn on her. (An example being - the boy in question had suffered a minor head injury in PE, was taken to student services, deemed to be OK to continue with the day but was told that he must got back to them if he got a headache or started to feel sick. He told the maths teacher that he didn't feel well, and explained the accident, but he was not allowed to leave and ended up vomiting in the classroom).

I definitely agree with secondary school being much more anonymous. It also seems like they are expected to learn much more themselves. As an example, in primary school DD didn't even have a calculator. Now, they have to have a specific scientific calculator, but they are not being shown how to use it. Then in a recent test, part of the paper was to be done using the calculator, but she just tried to everything by hand and ran out of time, so didn't get a good mark.

We have got a maths tutor for my daughter this year. I couldn't keep up with the level of work they are doing now, without a LOT of googling to refresh my memory. She is really pleased with how DD is getting on and says its just a confidence thing. (She has showed her lots of shortcuts on the calculator as well).

I did speak to the head of year about perhaps moving down a set, but due to timetables etc, that would mean she would also move down in English and science, which she is currently doing really well in. Plus, there's the risk that she could swap one unpleasant teacher for another....

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 05/03/2025 17:34

@BoundaryGirl3939 what is grinds? Do you mean tutoring?

JeanPaulGagtier · 05/03/2025 17:36

If you really feel you need to bring it up you could say you know she worked better with encouragement. It sounds obvious but I do think some teachers forget. However your DD does need to get her head around working with teachers/lecturers who have different styles. They can't all be happy and charmingly wonderful throughout their learning career, unfortunately, so maybe do that alongside to grow DDs resilience.

Ohapal · 05/03/2025 17:38

Bluntly, the guy is a twat and couldn’t give a shit about your dd. I would not rock the boat - your dd will pay the price and become his new person to pick on. It’s all un-provable and the school will either close ranks or try to do something ineffectively. The guy won’t change.

Carry on quietly with the tutoring and just get through to the end of the school year.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 05/03/2025 17:40

I loved maths in primary then had a terrible maths teacher for years 7&8 and my progress really suffered. It put me off the subject so badly that I still find myself saying "I'm bad at maths" to this day, when it isn't true. I just have such bad associations with it.

I can't say for sure but I think I would have done better if I'd been moved down a set to work with a better teacher.

StrawberryLane · 05/03/2025 17:41

If you've coached her through year 6 maths, you might need to continue this for her to keep up with the standard they are expecting her to be.

StrawberryLane · 05/03/2025 17:43

RampantIvy · 05/03/2025 17:34

@BoundaryGirl3939 what is grinds? Do you mean tutoring?

It's called grinds in ireland

WonderingWanda · 05/03/2025 17:44

Why don't you wait and see what he says about your dd? He might not be a nice teacher but your dd's anxiety might be creating an issue where there isn't one. You say he hasn't done anything specific to her. If she is struggling suggest she moves set. If he brings up that he's like her to put her hand up and ask more then say "She's too self conscious to do that, maybe you could check in with her as you move around the room? If that doesn't get you anywhere then by all means go to the head of year or head of department.

Original poster
LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 17:47

@ArtTheClownIsNotAMime that is the main reason we went with a tutor. I don't want her to shut down and decide she just can't do it. It's not a subject that she can drop...

I will definitley think about the sets thing, and also speak to her tutor about it.

OP posts:
StrawberryLane · 05/03/2025 17:48

The school will be judged on the progress dc make from their year 6 SATs. As you coached her a lot in year 6 and she got excellent SAT results, you could continue coaching her or use tutoring to help her keep up with her expected grades.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 05/03/2025 17:48

LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 17:47

@ArtTheClownIsNotAMime that is the main reason we went with a tutor. I don't want her to shut down and decide she just can't do it. It's not a subject that she can drop...

I will definitley think about the sets thing, and also speak to her tutor about it.

A tutor is a good idea. I feel for you as there is no easy answer.

Original poster
LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 17:52

@Ohapal yes - this was my concern also. I've heard on the grapevine that there's been official complaints about him before and while a couple have had their kids moved to different classes, it doesn't seem like anything has been done (although of course, things may be happening behind the scenes).

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 05/03/2025 18:05

Does he call the pupils retards? At dd1's school a number of parents complained about a maths teacher and after investigation he left with no notice.

Thatcannotberight · 05/03/2025 18:09

There's a huge shortage of Secondary maths teachers. School will not rock the boat, the teacher will not change. It's a shame about linked sets at your school, my son is still in top sets for English and Science. He gave up asking for help in lessons, I think the teacher just expected the brightest children to follow without needing detailed explanations. My son was even too afraid to go to homework club, in case vile teacher was on duty.

Original poster
LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 18:15

@CoffeeBeansGalore she hasn't mentioned that word, but things like "thick", "slow" etc.

@Thatcannotberight yes, I hadn't thought about the shortage of maths teachers. Probably why there doesn't appear to have been any action taken so far...

OP posts:
Penterist · 05/03/2025 18:17

Your DD can step out of the room for your talk with the maths teacher although having your child with you is massively beneficial for this one time and this one subject I would perhaps not have her in front of the computer.

I would probably say she lacks confidence in maths in year 7 and feels she cannot put her hand up to ask for help in class and you would like his help going forward. Prepare what you are going to say, we always had post it notes attached to the screen so we could read it off without it looking overly prepared.

Sadly there will always be teachers who she doesn't get along with or like their teaching style and year 7 is always a massive transition anyway, lots of new teachers, different styles of teaching and new subjects. So even in that she is doing well. Keep working on her self belief, she is coping with the work and now knows how to use the calculator. There is usually a talk through of the calculator functions as it is new to all students.

Is there anyone with an older sibling at the school who might want to do some peer on peer teaching? It helps cement their knowledge too.

Just seen your update on name calling, I would be all sweetness and polite in the face to face meeting with him but I would be wanting to talk to the head of year. I failed maths GCSE due to an abusive derogatory name calling teacher. Passed on a resit and I am still angry about it decades later.

Oblomov25 · 05/03/2025 18:38

Hmm tricky. I wouldn't want her moved out if set 1 if I could help it. Maybe talk to Head of Maths first.

Re parents evening take some notes of things you want to ask.

Original poster
LowMaintenance101 · 05/03/2025 19:08

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate all the advice. I'll definitely make some notes and have some questions ready.

OP posts:
LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 05/03/2025 19:17

Ganging up against him on Facebook or WhatsApp is horrible and a witch hunt, based on nothing more than gossip. Please don't do this or refer to this in your meeting. Listen to what he says firstly. Then explain that your daughter lacks confidence. What can you and she do to help? Do not mention the situation with other pupils as that isn't appropriate. Your daughter will encounter many teachers who have very different teaching styles. You can help her deal with that.

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