Newstead Grammar? Eltham? St Dunstan's (scholarship) or Alleyn's?

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Hi all,

My DD has got offers from all these schools. She is a very diligent personality and loves her sport and music, quiet girl but very observant. Not hugely academic but is bright!
We can't decide between Eltham and St Dunstan's with a scholarship. We visited all the schools. Alleyn's was great but feel like she maybe in a pressurised environment. Eltham, we were impressed with, a lot, very diverse and very good sport. Newstead is very academic and and majority students are Asian but is free! St Dunstan's is a good option as she has scholarship but feels a little mediocre and not as diverse.
If anyone can give any thoughts with any personal experiences to this to help us decide, will really appreciate it. We do need to make a decision by Wednesday mid day this week!

Thanks in advance
Tan

Newstead is a super selective so, if she's not super bright, how will she feel about being the middle to bottom of the pack? Eltham and St Dunstans nice schools, Eltham is in a nicer area and probably has the edge in terms of reputation. Alleyns is the bigger name and is also more selective and competitive. I'd look at the journey time too.

There is a lot to be said for free. Also Newstead is all girls whereas the others are mixed. That is something to consider.

Can you comfortably afford the private schools, even with annual fee increases, for the next five years?

That's what I am worried about at Newstead, her not feeling confident enough compared to other girls plus it's a girls school which has its pros and cons. Eltham we don't have scholarship so big dent in the budget (we are not loaded, are professionals just about to afford pvt school). St Dunstan's we have heard, its a very upcoming school, very easy for us to get to (15 mins on the train). Alleyn's is also not too bad for us as we have a train that can get her there. We are in Beckenham. But agree similar pressurised environment and have heard they expect them to just get on with it!

Thank you for your help @TurmericTurmerictolly

Yes, less inclined towards an all girls school

That's why St Dunstan's with a scholarship is topping on the leaderboard. Eltham will make us tight but is in a league of its own! We will be able to afford St Dunstan's comfortably but is it worth it to give a mediocre school, no idea how the teachers/support etc is. Dont know anyone who has had experience of the school. They all put on a show when you visit them and say lots of positive things to sell the schools

I live in Orpington. So many of the Newstead girls have been heavily tutored and some struggle once they are there. If you have just done a year of gap filling & technique then your daughter may find keeping up easier than expected for a super selective

Choose where you think she will be happiest.

They are all good schools but is she is diligent, she will do her best academically where she is most happy and relaxed.

I would choose Alleyn's from that list. It's co-ed, academic, and part of the Dulwich group of schools, which were founded in the 1600s.

The feel of those schools is all so different. I found Alleyns such an annoying place despite it being comfortably ranked above the others. One of my closest friends has had two girls at the school though and couldn't speak more highly of it if she tried! She hated Eltham - my two have been very happy there. St Dunstans is a very different school again - and very ambitious these days so you might find yourself on a rising tide. If you can comfortably afford wherever then I'd go with the school you felt the best about. If the financial might be a deal breaker then I'd go with St Dunstans or Newstead. For what it's worth, I have a girl and I'm very glad she's in a co-ed environment, it's really suited her. Again, so personal to each child!

My daughter has gone to newstead as a sixth former having completed ks3 and ks4 at a nearby Academy. What a difference. Only wish she had gone there sooner. She had a miserable time at Harris but is thriving and so happy at Newstead - the staff are supportive, opportunities and support for strategic uni applications are outstanding and as an autistic child who had no real friends at secondary, my daughter is now surrounded by people who love her for who she is. Ultimately it’s what suits your daughter best. I’ve a friend whose daughter is in sixth form at st dunstans and her mental health is in tatters - smoking, drinking, self harm, anorexia - but she is considered one of the scholars and is pushed accordingly so I’m not sure the school necessarily has her best interests at heart. Every child is unique at what suits one might not suit another.

My daughter, now year 9, has a scholarship at St Dunstans and I can honestly say we've been very happy. They've massively moved up the league tables in recent years and the teaching quality is great plus it's a very progressive school and she has made amazing friends. As a scholar there are various trips, seminars etc. Nothing is perfect but we've never looked back and would def make the same decision again (she gets the train to school which gave her some independence early on too).

We also turned down a place at Newstead which hurt a lot financially but was the right decision for our daughter... I know it's very pressured from other people who have children there.

We are waiting and hoping for an offer for 6th form at newstead- currently our boy at ST dunstans. Can I assume from the above that others have had offers from Newstead and so he hasn’t received one then?

I am not a fan of StD, personally. They offer big scholarships to able kids because they are trying to improve their academic standing, but they are a much broader intake. I have heard second hand reports that aren’t positive but that is going to be the case for all schools, in fairness. Newstead is a fabulous school for those it suits. It isn’t overly pressured in my experience, but there are very bright girls and so the pressure for some will come from struggle when the pace is naturally fast. I don’t know Alleyns but I know of kids who are very happy there (friends of my DD). In my experience the Dulwich schools are not pressure cookers at all, but they do have a culture that makes it normal to do homework and revision (and not that much), and so some kids take that in a relaxed way (my DD), and others take it in a much more serious way (one of my friends says her DD’s do competitive studying) - but that is about the kids and their friends, not the school. I don’t know Eltham.

There will be a school coach to Alleyns and Newstead from Beckenham.

Ultimately, you should go with the one you and your DD like best (assuming the money isn’t going to be an issue). If your DD is contentious, she will hopefully do well wherever!

mot sure what you mean by St Dunstan’s not being diverse - it’s considerably more diverse than Alleyns.

Personally I’d go for one of the more academic ones - Alleyns or Newstead. You choose if you want co-ed or to pay.

A child who has offers for these is capable and can do v well and will usually thrive in an environment of clever kids. Other schools will have much more of a ‘tail’.

Guess deadlines have passed now for privates, but good luck in choosing between state and the privates. Lucky position to be in.

If moneys a concern I would leap at Newstead.

DC2 was at Newstead, Dc3 there now.

Both went to se London state primaries, and coped fine once they got there. Both girls feel any pressure was more from parental expectations of their children than from the school as such.

It’s a lovely decision to have to make - but I guess it’s choosing between apples and pears. 3 private vs 1 grammar. Distances/ commutes? Fees?

It’s such a personal decision: what is the right fit for one child is not necessarily the right one for another. You know your child: visit each school again and trust your instinct! Best of luck.

I happened to go to Newstead, but too many years ago to make valid comments specifically about the school now.

However, I would like to echo all the comments saying that it really depends on the child.

I have been reflecting on schooling a lot recently, as we will soon need to think about secondary education for my child.

I had a fantastic time there. My talents happen to lie on the academic side, and I have always found learning easy. I never felt under any pressure there. However, if sport or beauty had been the things that were most prized at school, I’d have been sunk. I was a painfully shy, gauche, somewhat geeky child. The only things I was confident about was that I was very clever and quite good at classical music. For me, a highly academic single sex school was the correct environment. It gave me the opportunity to flourish and grow in confidence before hitting the wider world at university.

However, I very much feel that a couple of my friends didn’t meet their full potential because they went to Newstead. They were always near the bottom, observing others seemingly sailing through. I think this damaged their self confidence, leading to them underperforming in the public exams. In another setting, they would have been top or middle set, and possibly thrived academically. In hindsight, I can see that there was little support for those who were struggling. Of course, this may have changed by now.

When i went to see the school on a tour, majority of the kids were Caucasian, we didn't find much diversity when it came to kids

That’s interesting - I know someone with children at each and they always said Alleyns was far less diverse.

We went with Eltham in the end as daughter found it more diverse and loved the feel of it. Sure its a lot of money but we feel it's the right environment for her. She is academic but wouldn't want her sinking in thr pressure of keeping up in a girls grammar school which can get very intense with hormones. I have heard of and had personal experience of a girl who I know closely, who was put down regularly by other girls which started affecting her confidence. Not sure if anyone else had that experience, that's why wanted to know more people's opinion on this. We dropped Alleyn's in the end but yes would agree that more Caucasians there as well and a certain air about the kids who went there !

I would go with your gut. Put the name of each school on a wooden stirrer and use the “drawing straws” method to see how you feel when each one is pulled. Relief? Happiness? Disappointment? Anxiety?

Oh yes, very much so about the air 🤣.

Well, I hope she enjoys Eltham!