Alleyn’s and Dulwich offers

[Twinklestoes198]

We are in the lucky position to have offers from both Alleyn’s and Dulwich. My Ds has been a coed school his whole primary. He will chose swimming over football but does enjoy rugby and cricket. It’s not a deal breaker that Alleyn’s doesn’t do rugby. He isn’t musical but does enjoy performing in plays. He gets along well with girls his age but doesn’t have close girl friends as his close friends are all boys. That said, I'm worried how the change to all boys environment might be and the larger year groups.

Is anyone choosing between the same schools and which one are you leaning towards? Any current parents offer some advise please?

The coed issue was a thing for us too but went for Dulwich a few years ago and haven't regretted it. It's such a lovely school. What does your son think? Does he have a preference? Because that's really important. Mine was actually really keen to not go to a mixed school 🤦🏻‍♀️ I think because he was quite small and felt intimidated by the much more mature girls in his year!? Difficult to get an honest answer from him on that point! But he loves Dulwich. He's not sporty in the slightest and found a real love for drama at the school having never done it before. He's very happy. They mix with girls from Jags but I wish it was more. It ramps up in the 6th form and they do mixed lessons with girls then for enrichment studies

@AlbertinaRoad he absolutely loves both of them and after the offer days it is a super hard one to decide.

one thing I have heard about Dulwich is it is big enough to find something that you like and will find your tribe with things you enjoy. But the large number of boys also scare me. Do they actually get to know everyone in the year or is it mostly your form class?

@Hellolondonfriends did you decide on Alleyn’s? Ds absolutely loved the offer holder day! I’m leaning towards Alleyn’s too but then next day DC! Need to make a decision tomorrow

Good luck on making the decision! We are in the same boat and hoping to feel confident by tomorrow or Monday. 😅

@SamPoodle123 how is your decision making going? We declined Emanuel yesterday so only Alleyn’s and DC in the mix now.

good luck to you too! I am sure our boys would be happy at any school as all brilliant schools.

@Twinklestoes198 Alleyn's! Excited and happy the decision has been made. :)

@Hellolondonfriends congrats with the decision! Absolutely brilliant! Must be such a relief! What was the final straw that made you decide Alleyn’s over DC? Sport drama or coed? I must say I was very impressed after offering day and all the kids showing around and current pupils seemed sooo lovely

@Hellolondonfriends can’t remember if I asked you this before but is your Ds sporty or, musical or drama or mix of all?

@Twinklestoes198 final decision was based on coed! DS is not sporty, very into maths/computers, and generally quirky/creative.

Both schools are great but for us it came down to coed.

Thanks. We ended up getting an offer to Harrodian on Friday and declined that....but still have not made decisions on the others. I feel like LU makes most sense. Dh does not agree. Wish we just agreed and felt confident with it.

Good luck to you as well!

Definitely he knows people from outside his own form. Clubs and interests mean you meet boys from other forms. Plus house activities. In the lower school which they are in for year 7 & 8 they are in their lower school bubble. It really doesn't feel that big. My son went there from a 2 form state primary, so about 60 kids in his year up to 140 kids. He loved it. I definitely noticed his friendship group changed from year 7 to year 8 too, as he found his confidence. It's a lot to take on in year 7; new building, new teachers , new subjects, new kids, a while new way of doing school. All I can say is he is very happy there and wanted to counter to argument that it's only for sporty, posh boys. My son is neither of those things

@AlbertinaRoad this is brilliant feedback thank you and fab to hear they do mix with clubs and get to know other kids aswell on the year and not just their form. Is it ever a struggle to find space in a club? The clubs must be busy with all the boys so assume quite large numbers attend this.

how is the pastoral care at DC at the moment? Lots of people I still talk to refer to DC and the bad rep they have with girls. Do you find Jags etc avoid the Dc boys?

I wanted to add on here too as I think there are some people who go back to everyone’s invited and Dulwich being the first school mentioned but when you look at the list of schools included pretty much every secondary school is there and Alleyns hasn’t been immune from poor behaviour too. My take is that at school you can get children who don’t behave well it depends on their friends and how they’ve been brought up.

Agree (& I say this as a mum of girls, no sons). I have heard that both DC and Alleyn’s dealt with the situation firmly and have retained measures to address such awful behaviour.

I do agree in every school there will be bad behaviour but have also heard mr Milne will be brilliant at pastoral.

does anyone know if Alleyn’s or DC are stronger at swimming?

@Twinklestoes198 Clubs are quite fluid, they don't need to go every week. I haven't been aware of a club being too full to attend. I think if that was the case, you know what boys are like, they are low temperature, they just find something else to do. But no it all seems to work out well. The younger ones still hang out in the 'playground' area and they just mix with everyone. Also sports is mixed by ability not on which form you're in.

Pastoral care seems very good. I think all schools take this very seriously these days, It comes across as very caring, kind environment. They have wellness lessons every fortnight which covers all sorts of topics. I noticed one of the lessons on the wellness curriculum was 'toxic masculinity'. ( cant remember which year group that was for)

Not seen any evidence of the Jags good avoiding DC boys. I see girls wondering on the school grounds looking perfectly comfortable. I know my son and his friends would be completely confused by the idea of them being viewed badly. They don't have anything to do with it and it was quite a few years ago now.

@Twinklestoes198 I wish the private messaging was working! So frustrating it is not. If I remember correctly, you were also considering Emanuel before? Curious if you decided to decline and if so why? Any closer to making your final decision? I still feel lost and am hoping to do so by tomorrow. Or Tuesday the latest 😅

Good luck to all those deciding. I would think about the commute first ( not such an issue between Alleyns and Dulwich I guess!) and then follow your heart!

@SamPoodle123 yes we declined Emanuel after the offer holder days last week. We just didn’t get blown away on the day, it was super busy and just felt a bit rushed chatting to the teachers. Didn’t like the offsite sport compared to other schools with onsite sport and the current building going on. Dh and DS preferred the feel of DC and Alleyn’s.

Miss the pm function! how is your decision going? Tiffin tomorrow? Good luck!

@AlbertinaRoad it sounds all brilliant. If there isn’t a club they don’t want to attend do they just play in the playground? Fab to know there is opportunity to mix with the whole year group. Is there a wide range of abilities in all the sport?

fab to know the girls aren’t avoiding the DC boys!

my heart says one thing and head says another! Hopefully will get an answer soon!

@Twinklestoes198 interesting. Could you elaborate more on your thoughts for the off site sport at Emanuel. Dh seems to think the younger years spend most of their time doing sport on site....but I think they def go off site for some of it.

I miss the pm function too! So annoying, esp now! I want it working. Yes, we find out tomorrow about Tiffin. It is such a small chance. I am hoping he does not get it, or it will put more stress and complicate things further 😅

Good luck on making your final decision!

@Twinklestoes198 lunchtimes with no club or other commitments, it's mainly hanging out in the library or playing football, and if you're new to the school almost everyone goes through a 'pat ball' phase, which is played outside in the playground area. There's a tuck shop for sweets and drinks. They are kept well entertained. Lunchtime speakers or author visits sometimes.

There is a wide range of sporting abilities. Plenty of boys without any interest in sport and plenty with loads. They group them by ability so you play with people on your level. Rugby in winter, hockey or football in spring, athletics/ cricket in summer. Swimming is during PE lessons so that's with your form and every other week I think.

Other chances to mix are house competitions but you don't have to take part in those if it's not your thing. You don't have to take part in house drama for example so it attracts the boys who want to take part.

Does your son have a preference? Is there something he particularly likes or doesn't like about one or the other. I don't think there's any harm in going purley on vibes at this stage. They are both great, so there's no wrong choice !

@SamPoodle123 I think y6 and y7 sport is at sports fields at school but the older they get they go off to the offsite fields. When we went to DC and Alleyn’s they mentioned sport is onsite and less time travelling so more time to focus on sport and space . I really like that idea.

have you made your decision? Wish could pm you!

@AlbertinaRoad have heard the patt ball is a big thing!

DS is favouring DC. He has been I a small primary with a few boys so the who transition to a big school with 160 boys frightens me and another 70 joining year 9! How do they all get to know each other?

@SamPoodle123 I think y6 and y7 sport is at sports fields at school but the older they get they go off to the offsite fields. When we went to DC and Alleyn’s they mentioned sport is onsite and less time travelling so more time to focus on sport and space . I really like that idea.

have you made your decision? Wish could pm you!

@AlbertinaRoad have heard the patt ball is a big thing!

DS is favouring DC. He has been I a small primary with a few boys so the who transition to a big school with 160 boys frightens me and another 70 joining year 9! How do they all get to know each other?

@Twinklestoes198 I never thought it would be this hard...we are still trying to decide and I have made my decision. DS is unsure. DH prefers the other two schools. I wish we could pm!! What bad timing for those to temporary stop.

What about you? Any closer? At least our state option means, we do not have to worry and put that into the mix. 😅

@SamPoodle123 me too! This is seriously the hardest decision! Luckily also didn’t get first state option aswell so doesn’t complicate it more.

DS like the one school and I like the other and Ds likes both!