SEN mums please help!!

[DCM2789]

Hello everyone I hope you are well. This is my first time posting on here so please be kind lol.
My eldest child is 13 going on 14 and in year 9. After along battle (which I’m sure you are all aware of) my child was diagnosed with ADHD, Autism, Social communication difficulties and difficulty in regulating his emotions.
As a back story there was a lot of trauma in his early years where he was emotionally abused by his father and was being groomed sexually - my son has not had contact with his father now for 8 years as per a court order.

I am massively struggling with the secondary school he is at. They excluded him last week for one day after he escaped a supposedly secure area. The first day he went back to school he was then excluded for 4 days for kicking a football in the corridor and refusing to give it to a member of staff when asked.

I had a meeting with the Head of Year yesterday for what I thought would be a reintegration meeting with targets being set. However I was completely blindsided as the school now wants to send him off site on a manage move (BBC has reported on this school they want to move him to … it is rated the worst in the country for truancy amongst other things!!)
When I expressed my concerns about him being moved and how this would affect my child they basically told me it’s this option or he would be permanently excluded!

This is where I need advice .. Can they actually do this? Ive had numerous meetings to discuss triggers for my son and the need for consistency and routine as this all massively affects his behaviour. He is constantly in fight or flight mode and it appears to me most staff members are just not taking this on board. I feel his needs are not being met correctly with his routines are being changed weekly if not daily at this point.
I think the school just want to make him someone else’s problem now.
Am I correct in assuming (as per the government website) that they cannot permanently exclude my child with autism unless he is a danger to others - which he is not and they have stated he is not.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I thank you in advance

It is possible to permanently exclude students with disabilities however the school need to demonstrate they have made reasonable adjustments.

It's not the case that you need to harm someone else to be permanently excluded.

Does he have an EHCP?

Kicking a football in a corridor is a potential danger to others. Have you ever taken a football to the face? Nevermind in close quarters.

No we are in the process of getting the EHCP

I’ve seen the CCTV it was an empty corridor as lessons were taking place. Again no risk to others

a special school may suit him better ?

this is not the best school for him because. They don’t want him and the escaping and ball incident were dealt with as if he were. NT
dies he have a oda profile and how many teachers a trained in this ?

Push for the ehcp. Ime I had to make a massive nuisance of myself. Have they made reasonable adjustments for your ds?

What has the school put in place in terms of adjustments to reduce the incidents that occur?

A managed move can be a positive thing, but it’s usually from one mainstream school to another, with a regulated programme. If the move is successful, the child stays at the school, if not, they return to the original one.

Permanent exclusion is difficult to achieve and more so for a child with SEND. Having a diagnosis of autism doesn’t mean that sanctions cannot be applied, but the school needs to show what they have done to make it possible for a child to manage their behaviour.

If he doesn’t have an EHCP, you can apply for one yourself.

Cross post. I see you’re applying for an EHCP.

Thankyou for your reply, what is an ODA I’ve never heard of it x

The LA would ask questions:

• What needs does your son have that the school aren't meeting?
• What behaviour is happening as a result of these unmet needs?
• What would need to happen to meet these needs?
• Why is that not happening?

The LA would then hopefully give the school support in meeting these needs and maybe hurry up the EHCP in order to put extra funding in place to enable the school the meet these needs. If however, the LA truly felt that the school wasn't able to meet the needs, not through laziness, but because your son's needs just weren't compatible with the school, yes it would be possible for the school to exclude him, and it would be the LA's responsibility to find an alternative educational placement that could better meet his needs.

I think they mean pda - pathological demand avoidance. It’s a profile within autism that makes it very difficult for the individual to comply with demands. It’s not learned behaviour and is rooted in anxiety.

it sounds like the school aren’t meeting his needs and with the ehcp assessment process being ongoing I would suggest that it’s much better that he stays where he is.

He is actually very vulnerable and a “managed move” to a failing setting is unlikely to be in his interest and will absolutely hold up
the ehcp process. The school need to be gathering evidence now.

Where are you in the EHCP process?

What support is the school providing? What have they already tried?

Schools can permanently exclude DC with SEN. However, unless there is more to the story, it doesn’t sound like the school would be able to meet the threshold for permanent exclusion.

You can see the suspension and permanent exclusion statutory guidance here. This also covers things like managed moves and off-site direction.

I think I’d want an ehcp and to make an informed choice if dc was going to move. Do your homework and visit as many of the schools you think might work for him.

I think they probably do need to remove him from mainstream as they can't meet his needs there. They can't provide the routine and calmness that he needs there. You probably need to home school him until the EHCP comes through and hopefully that would get him a place in a more suitable school.

If they insist on moving him to that other school then you probably need to refuse to send him and await the EHCP. You will be offered tutors at home and it would be a good idea to accept those if you can.

I'm on the other side of this chute. DS has medical trauma and is now home schooled with an EOTAS package. Good luck with it all. It's an incredibly gruelling process.

A managed move can be helpful in these situations.

For example, are they suggesting a managed move to a school with a unit for students with sn where there is additional support and a strong routine?

You mention that you have had repeated meetings with the school so presumably he is not coping in normal mainstream.

Would a unit be preferable?

A managed move in the middle of EHCP process is a bad idea. How far down the route are you towards EHCP? Has an application been made? Has he seen an ed psych? Has the EHCP request been agreed by the LA?

A "step out" type of programme - temporary placement in a different school to give everyone a bit of respite from each other - might be acceptable, or the school could look at alternative provision as a temporary measure. But moving to a new mainstream school permanently would be a bad idea and will very likely delay the EHCP process. Especially as the EHCP will be to consider what type of setting is needed to meet his needs.

OP I do think you might need to see the school's perspective a bit. It's not really appropriate to defend your child kicking a football in a corridor and refusing to hand it over to a staff member on the grounds that no risk to others was posed. It's more about his ability or willingness to see the bigger picture around how schools really only operate if everyone accepts the need to comply with basic expectations around safety and following instructions. Asking for, say, a change to uniform to enable a child with sensory needs to have a different style of shirt is one thing; expecting a school to say it's ok that he was kicking a ball inside because no other kids were on the corridors is not reasonable. You probably have a point in relation to the way they are managing him - but that doesn't mean he doesn't also need telling that some behaviours will get him into bother, whatever the trigger or cause, in school and in life.

Hi

Have you contacted Sendias/Sendiass? I would, even without an EHCP. They can be fab. I sought advice with school whilst in the EHCP process. They have the legal angle too and can go to school meetings with you.

Do you have a parent carer forum in your area? I sought advice there (check the LA's local offer for your area).

I understand re the football. I caught students playing bloody cricket in the car park at work the other day (agh, that's an entirely different scenario, they are way past 18!)

Good luck @DCM2789

You probably need to home school him until the EHCP comes through

Don’t do this! OP does not have to EHE. By doing that she would relieve the LA of their responsibility to provide a suitable full-time education. It also means theLA doesn’t have an incentive to issue an EHCP naming a more expensive option - LAs know if they refuse the parent may well carry on EHEing thus saving them money.

And EOTAS/EOTIS is different to home schooling/EHE. The LA retain responsibility.

Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good but too many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies.

Sorry, I didn't mean deregistering and electively home schooling. I just meant that if the school won't have him in the building then she could offer to teach him at home with materials provided by the school while they await the EHCP - remaining resolutely on roll while that happens.

@TalkingShop OP shouldn’t offer to do that either. If CSA DC can’t attend school the LA has a duty to ensure they still receive a suitable full-time education. Offering to do that means the LA doesn’t have an incentive to provide support. The school doesn’t have to send work home either. And OP should be careful of the language used because the LA is likely to see homeschooling as EHE.

This is where you (and so many other parents) fall down with your argument and once you do that schools often (wrongly) stop listening. It might have seemed like an empty corridor but there are any number of reasons why someone needed to step out of a classroom unexpectedly (pop to the toilet\run an errand/leaving school early for some reason/time out for a dysregulated student etc) who don't expect a football to come flying at them. Furthermore, your son failed to follow instructions to hand over the ball demonstrating little regard for safety, rules or authority. Schools absolutely can (and do) permanently exclude students with (and without) autism

I would try and contact SENSOS and IPSEA for advice. And possibly local sendias service.
Personally I don't thinks move mid EHCP process is a good move.
I would ask his current school to confirm in writing to yourself and LA athat they cannot meet your sons needs because of xyz and list all the strategies tried.
If one mainstream school cannot meet needs it's highly unlikely that another mainstream school will.
What can they offer that current school can't?
Maybe visit the other school and talk to them to see if they really think they can meet his needs and what they could do differently to support your son-this begs the question why first school isn't doing those things.
Keep all emails (from both schools) , follow up phone calls or meetings with an email confirming discussion points and what was agreed as your evidence base.
Has he had an occupational therapy assessment and speech and language assessment? These were very helpful in identifying my DDs difficulties and needs, I honestly didnt think they were necessary at first but they have been life changing once she got the recommended support in place.
Unfortunately you may need to pay privately but it worth asking LA for these assessments as part of EHCP process.
What does your DS want?
It sounds like a specialist setting might be more appropriate.