Tell me about your child’s grammar school

[Teatwosugarsplease]

We have 1 DC currently in year 5 at a super selective prep. DC is autistic and performs very well academically (has achieved scores of 142 in standardised tests although this can be a little inconsistent). However the fees have become unmanageable and so we’re thinking of moving to an area that has grammar schools as we think DC probably stands a good chance of getting in.

We need to live within commutable distance of central London but other than that we’re willing to consider pretty much anywhere if we can find the right school for our academic, sporty DC with good SEN provision. We’d ideally like coeducational rather than single sex.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Grammar schools and good SEN provision don’t often go together, I’m afraid.

They really do. Especially with ASD.

i don't think there are many co-ed ones, maybe in Kent?

St Olave’s in Orpington otherwise the Judd in Tonbridge or Skinner’s school in Tunbridge Wells. Olave’s is the most competitive. All are on the same, good trainline (into London Bridge / Charing Cross / Waterloo East or London Bridge / Cannon Street, Orpington also has a (slower) line to Victoria.

Would you consider Hampshire, no grammars yet many comprehensive schools get excellent results e.g. Bohunt, Eggar's. Winchester comps are great too and Thornden in Chandlers Ford but that's possibly too far from London. For sixth form, some brilliant colleges like Peter Symonds.

Certainly not any of the (very highly regarded!) ones near us. SEN kids are treated as more of an inconvenience than anything. DD went to quite a famous grammar and they were incredibly unsupportive + quick to give up on any child who didn’t fit the mould (ie had SEN, MH problems etc). After 7 years at a lovely prep it was a big disappointment.

My DS with AuADHD is at RGS High Wycombe and is being very well supported - there are several boys with ASD in his year that I know of.
A friend’s DS with as-yet-undiagnosed ASD is being well supported at Sir Henry Floyd in Aylesbury (co-ed).
(Both Bucks schools - some have residence requirements which would mean you’d need to be in catchment by April this year, so perhaps not feasible)

Why grammars especially OP? Some of the high performing comps around London have both great SEN provision and excellent exam results.

@Tiredalwaystired We’re thinking grammar schools because they seem most likely to replicate the academic environment of DCs prep school (with lots of focus on lateral thinking, debating, opportunities like chess competitions etc.) which DC loves. Not in any way against comps but I can’t see those near where we currently live suiting DCs slightly quirky personality. Exam results are less of a concern but finding the right environment where DCs ASD is celebrated and supported and their special interests are catered for is the priority.

Our children's grammar school did a really good job for SEN pupils and all children in general but not anywhere near the private schools.

We are well outside of London but youngest DCs grammar school has been superb accomodating AuDHD and school is very well set up for it. I taught in state schools until recently and it's by far the best provision I've seen particularly for autism spectrum and related needs

DS is in Beth's Grammar school in Bexley. It's all boys but he's loving it. I don't personally have any experience with SEN provision but I do know that a bit with autism from his primary school also goes there and has apparently been well supported and has settled in really well and is happy.
There are two co ed grammars in Bexley too (Bexley Grammar and Chis and Sid) but I don't know much about them beyond having visited.

We don't live in Bexley, we're in Greenwich borough (Eltham) but not far from the border. Great trains into victoria, London bridge, Waterloo east and Charing cross. Also not too far from Elizabeth line.

The problem with grammar areas is the alternatives if your DS doesn’t have a good day, although they can be good schools, the reality is that there are frequently less academic options on offer. You also need to check the entrance requirements for each school carefully, some require you to be resident in the area (and properly resident) by a point in year 5.
I think you’d be surprised about what comprehensives in non-grammar areas are like as they do have to cater for everyone. Plus even if you are considering grammar, then you need a plan B if your DS doesn’t have a great day. I’ve just checked my DD’s comp there’s no grammars at all that you can get into round here, (Hampshire) and on offer in terms of clubs which include - chess, lego robotics, warhammer, historical writing, as well as lots of others plus all music, sports etc. It has a great SEND rep and certainly manages the top end.
Perhaps have a look at a comp like St Barts in Newbury which also gives you the option of Reading Boys as the grammar. Easy commute into London too.

I know you’d prefer mixed, but a few friends have said how wonderful their single sex grammar has been for their ASD DCs (mostly boys) - great SEN support and lots of children there like them with similar interests. They said they can just be their quirky selves without worrying about ‘impressing’ the opposite sex. It’s a different dynamic certainly - and not without its downsides - but perhaps think why you’d prefer mixed (is it because that’s what your DC is used to?), as quite a few grammar schools near London are single sex (especially the very academic ones).

Chesham Grammar is excellent and co ed - on the Met line.

I have two at Chesham Grammar (co-Ed) and it's great for them but my daughter with ASD would have struggled there. But she needs (and has thrived in) a far more nurturing environment which can cater to her needs more. CGS is great and my two who are there are also thriving but IMO you do need to be quite self-motivated (which your DS may be) to make the most of it.

We looked again for sixth form but I wasn't sure there was a quiet space DD could have found within it (it is big) although I think she'd have managed fine with the self-motivation side at A Level.

As PP have said, you'd need to check admissions policies carefully to check when you'd need to be in catchment.

If I had my time again, we'd have probably looked more closely at Hertfordshire especially St Albans/Harpendem. 11+ is not a nice process and very disruptive for friendships etc.

My ASD DC went to Latymer, they were very supportive. Not very sporty though, and underfunded as everything in state, but teaching, SEN support and ethos were excellent.

Just a word of warning, from a parent of 3 autistic DDs that went to a Grammar school.
Throughly check out the SEN offering.
DDs grammar had 3 part time LSAs for over 1000 pupils, when DD was late diagnosed autistic, after reaching burnout at 13 they did not have resources or expertise to support her-they did identify she was probably autistic though.
They were good at not presurrizing us re school attendance and were very kind, but resource and education wise she was cut adrift.
Secondary school for autistic girls can be a brutal transition, there will be 30+ girls in the class, lots of transitions and teenage girls have complex communication / friendship groups combined with puberty it makes it very challenging.
No point having superb academic teaching if they are too disregulated to access it and have zero SEN support.

@Dutchhouse14 Thank you. Class size is definitely something we need to consider. DCs prep is big but the children are streamed into sets of 18 pupils for most subjects so this is what they are used to (plus an excellent SENCO team who support where needed). If we could afford to keep them there for secondary we would but it’s always been a stretch and now with VAT plus some unforeseen financial pressures we just can’t manage it. Lots to think about.

Just to add it maybe worth considering applying for an ECHNA before you make a switch to state school, so it can formalise any additional support DC currently gets from private school that may help them thrive. Sossen and IPSEA are really good sources of info.
Just to add as I realise you haven't specified if DC is a girl or boy.
For some reason ime autistic boys seem to cope better at secondary than autistic girls. I know the boys grammar schools near me has a SRP for autistic pupils but the girls grammar school does not have any such provision in place.
Also boys are more likely to have an early diagnosis and have the correct support identified and in place before transition and my experience of having both girls and a boy is that teen boys social communication and friendship groups are a lot more straightforward than teen girls, which a minefield even without throwing autism into the mix!
Good luck.

Would you consider Lincolnshire? The train from Grantham to London XC is 70 minutes. Grantham has 2 excellent grammar schools - not co-ed though.

Debate club and a chess club are definitely a thing at our state comp.

maybe have a look at some do the websites a bit deeper in terms of extra curricular offers?