Moving to Berkshire - help needed re schools and place to live!

[Beekay75]

Hi all,

My ex wife has just obtained a court order permitting her to relocate our two children (daughter (12) and son (6)) from Sydney, Australia to the UK - timing uncertain, but likely to be in the next month or so.

My ex wife intends to live with her new partner in St Albans.

My partner, whom I will with live with when we move, lives and works in Ascot and her son goes to Charters.

So we are looking to find a good high school for our daughter somewhere between St Albans and Ascot - when we previously agreed a midpoint it was Gerards Cross, but I have no idea whether there are good schools there.

My daughter is clever, outgoing and well adjusted with an increasing focus on her academic work. Given that she hasnt done the 11+, I guess that limits our options to private schools or good state comprehensive.

I would greatly appreciate your collective wisdom about best schools for daughter and son roughly between Ascot and St Albans.

By my reckoning, it will mean a 30 minute commute to drop the kids to school from both locations. Once I have that sorted out, my partner and I will then look to move closer to the schools to cut this down (without making the commute too long for her son in Charters). Any recommendations about best villages to live around Taplow, Bray, Windsor? I have heard that Maidenhead and Slough are boring.

Thanks so much!

State schools between St Albans and Ascot will be difficult because you're unlikely to be in catchment from either address. Private: RMS in Rickmansworth could work, as could Pipers, Wycombe abbey. It would still be quite a lengthy daily commute for your daughter in what are busy traffic areas around junctions 15 and 21A of the M25. If she were to be based in St Albans there are plenty of excellent secondary schools (we don't have grammars here) such as St Albans Girls, Beaumont and Sandringham. Sure the same is true in Ascot but I'm less familiar with the area.

Your chances of getting an in-year place at one of the desirable St Albans schools (your daughter must be either Year 7 or Year 8) are extremely small, I suspect this will be the case for the popular state schools in Bucks or Berks as well.

30 mins during school run time is not going to get you very far from Ascot. The M25 around Heathrow is notoriously unpredictable. I would use the google maps journey planner and put the departure time in for about 7:30am on a Tues-Thurs(main commuting days) to give you an idea about how long it could take you from somewhere like Gerralds Cross.
Windsor is reasonable, I also like Englefield Green, both places would give you easy access to the motorway, but can be impacted by aircraft noise from Heathrow. I would avoid Slough, Maidenhead is better (especially since the town centre regeneration), and would give you the option of using the A404 and M40 towards St. Albans for when the M25 is gridlocked.

I believe your daughter could take an 11+ type test to see if she qualifies for a grammar school. Call Bucks school admissions to ask. You could also ask them which schools (grammar and non grammar) have spaces in her year group. Call Windsor and Maidenhead council to ask about school spaces as well, although Bucks would probably be better location wise.

You will struggle to get a good state school place distant from where she is living. Bucks is particularly tricky. How would you propose she travel daily as transport links are not easy.

A school midway is a terrible idea for your DD and DS, regardless of the difficulties of getting one (which are large). They will be a long way from her friends.

Can you live closer to where their mother is and then spend the time DCs are not with you with your partner and her child?

Most independent schools will have a number of private bus routes bringing in children from miles around. You might be able to find one halfway with bus routes which go towards both St. Albans and Ascot (if not all the way, then somewhere close enough for you to drop her off at a pick up point). Take a look at Locrating, add the secondary school filter, and independent schools are shown in blue on the map. You can then check out the transport options on the individual school websites. https://www.locrating.com/

A 30 minute drive time in either direction is very optimistic at school run times.

I think it is an awful lot to ask of your kids to move to the other side of the world AND to move in with new partners and (in your case, possibly also your ExW's case) a new stepsibling. You currently have no idea how it will be to cohabit with your new partner, so I would take a step back and enjoy at least being in the same country first.

Given your exW got a court order, I appreciate this situation probably wasn't your choice, but please do what you can to minimise impact on your kids in light of this court order.

I would assume about 1h to drive from either St Albans or Ascot to Gerrard's Cross in rush hour.

OP, if you plan on 11+ then prep/tutoring needs to start now, same for academic private school. In my experience the Australian education system is behind the UK.

Good state schools in that area will probably be over subscribed too.

Hoping to be helpful as I know the Berkshire area (but not St Albans). TBH you need to decide on State vs Private now, as the local Authority provide state places and that is governed by where the child lives for the greater half of the week (I don’t know the ins and outs of this policy however- someone else will know exactly I’m sure). So, if she lives in Ascot, she will be given the next available place in any school in that local Authority, or geographical nearest area. You can’t name the school, it’s wherever has a place as you are applying in-year. Same for St Albans. If you chose private, you can apply wherever you like, geographically.

That's not exactly right @Missingthesnow2 - you can make an in-year application to any state school you like, and if they have a space, they have to take you regardless of distance/other criteria, then you have to take up the space within a few weeks.

However, chances are that the school(s) OP might want in Gerrard's Cross will be full and then it will fall on the Local Authority in the place where the DCs spend most of their time to find them a space.

If it is strict 50:50 split, then criteria like where they are registered for the GP will come into play, unless the parents agree which of them is the primary residence. In which case, Herts CC (assuming your DCs are deemed to live with OP's exW as this residence) will find places for them both at the nearest school that can take them.

Thanks everyone for your messages! Some really helpful insights.

I hadnt appreciated all of the challenges of trying to select schools at the midpoint between St Albans and Ascots. In a nutshell, if I'm understanding correctly, my choices are:

1. Grammar school - likely need to sit the 11+ exam and also live in the catchment and hope they have spaces
2. State school - need to live in the catchment (and hope they have space?)
3. Private school - likely to be the most flexible? Still the issue of whether they have space for a mid year enrolment?

I have few friends and no family in the UK, so I really want to live with my partner. Given her boys are in schooling in Ascot, there is only so far we can move towards St Albans. I was hoping my ex would be willing to compromise a bit too and move closer to Ascot, but she isn't. So my plan is to agree a school in the midpoint, and then find somewhere to live close to there (without creating a bit commute for my partner's sons) if that makes sense.

To be honest, this is a crazy situation. The kids love their life in Australia and are very settled. My daughter was distraught for months about the trial and the move, and is scared about having to start again in a new school part way through term. My goal is to make this as easy as possible on them and her in particular.

I was thinking of something like - Dr Challoner's Girls School in Little Chalfont, and then once that's agreed, find somewhere to live there for my partner and our kids. That means a ~40 minute commute for my partner's sons, although if they move to Windsor Boy school, which they're considering doing, its only 30 minutes. DCGS is a grammar school, so my daughter would need to sit the 11+ - not even sure if thats possible now that she 12 (turning 13 in August).

I hear what you're saying but I have been with my partner for 4 years this February, and our kids have spent a lot of time together and get on really well. We've had 6 or 7 big blended family holidays together. My kids adore my partner, and have actually begged me to get full time custody (thats a different thread altogether!). So us living together won't be a problem, and in fact I think it will give my kids a lot of comfort. One of the silver linings for them with the move would being able to live with my partner and I in a big blended family situation.

For entry to Grammar (for older children) after the exams I understand you go onto a wait list. There are 2 Challoner schools ,- only one is grammar.

It’s not even living in catchment, for state - if your catchment school does not have a space but a near-ish school does, then you will be offered that space by the LA.

Your DD will go into year 9 in September 2025. Looking at the Dr Challoner Girls process, she wouldn’t sit an 11+ but would sit an “immediate transfer test” - however, it seems as though she would sit this when moving into the catchment of the school and would therefore not qualify to sit it without a Buckinghamshire address.

https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=pstSeSRlVUO2XDFHhvle9DyGIccgIBZMkgxOaHmFeThUMjFBOFNHVFFTUDhDSk1JSjBVVTBGQTkzUyQlQCNjPTEu

Catchments would also impact your partner - if she and her children lived in Gerard’s Cross, i don’t see how they would get into Windsor Boys’ school (which I see has a year 9/age 13 entry point) as they would be well outside of the designated area.

I mean this kindly, Please be extremely realistic about the chances of a place in a Bucks grammar. This will give you an idea of Bucks vacancies in Y8 now. The 2 schools with vacancies are not Grammars:
https://buckinghamshire-gov-uk.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/Secondary_In_Year_Vacancy_Report_06.01.25.xlsx
even if you pass a “12+” transfer test, the wait list is then organised by the school allocation criteria of which distance to school will be high up the list, after perhaps looked-after children and sibling priority. In essence at Y8/9 you need a space to become vacant by someone leaving (pretty rare) AND you need to be top of the wait list according to that schools allocation procedure.

If a school has spaces you don’t need to live in the catchment area to be allocated that space.

For many schools, if applying for mid year entry, you will need to contact the school directly to discuss if there are spaces, as the majority of schools now handle their own admissions outside of the “normal” round of admissions.

If a school doesn’t have spaces you still might get accepted on appeal, but then you really need to live within catchment and as close to the school as possible to stand a chance of winning the appeal (and you will need to prove your address).

Also, I would think carefully about moving your partners boys from Charters to Windsor Boys. Charters is a very oversubscribed school and if the boys don’t settle at WB the chances are they might not get back into Charters as their places will probably get snapped up. Most schools fall in and out of popularity,
but Charters always seems to be very popular.

I don't usually comment on someone's family situation when that's not what you've asked, but I really think you should reconsider moving in with your partner and her child right away. (Not to mention it sounds like it's going to be hard to find school situations that are fair and best for all of the children.)

Given that you've lived in Aus and your partner's children live in the UK, how much time could they really have spent together? They don't even have the same summer break. Holidays are fun but day to day life is a whole different thing, especially for children who will be anxious and traumatized by everything that has happened and trying to get used to a new normal and rebuild their lives from scratch halfway across the world. At least for the first 2-3 years their home needs to be with YOU and only you. If your ex-wife moves in with her partner right away that's a shame but all the more reason they should have at least one home that is just them and a parent.

Your priority has to be the kids. I know how hard it is to have no family or local friends but you will be amazed at how quickly local relationships can grow if you make the effort. Your kids will no doubt make friends and you will meet their parents, you will have neighbors, you can get involved in the community, volunteer, join a gym or adult footie league or herpetology society.

I get that they love your partner but sometimes you have to make decisions for children that you know are best, even if it's not what they want.

I would think if your Ex has a court order allowing her to move across the world with children. Then her home will be deemed the primary residence. So for the next 3 years your daughter if at state school will be at one in St Albans.
I also suggest you look at private school fees including the VAT they now incur. They also increase by 5% a year on average (for about the last 30 years).
So you have the choice of moving close to your daughter and being there for her 50% of the time. Or being more every other weekend and more of the holidays. But as a teen she is likely to want to see more of her friends, and UK courts will start to listen to her wants and needs over residency and contact.

Very good points from all the above posters. Private education in the UK is really very expensive - somewhere around £25k per child per year. Again, it relies on there being spaces (and presumably in the same location for two children)

If I were your partner’s DCs, I would also feel resentful if I was happy and settled at charters and in walking distance of my friends, then got moved to a different town, had a long commute to a new school, so my step siblings could walk to their school.

No that’s not correct. The court has awarded 50/50 custody on a week about basis. Neither parent is the primary and neither parent can unilaterally decide to put the kids in schools near them.

The Australian court or the uk court?