Independent schools that except pupils with ADHD

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It’s been on my mind & wondered other’s thoughts, if any. Our DS is year 5 in a non selective yet highly driven, competitive prep in the suburbs. Early last year he was privately (the NHS wait was too long) diagnosed with combined ADHD. We have decided not to medicate at the moment & with lots of support put into place both at home & at school, he is improving on all aspects. Our concern is the transition to senior school & with a (sort of) understanding at how competitive winning a place at a desired school can be, we are unsure how children fair in a senior school environment with ADHD. I’ve heard that some schools advertise at being all inclusive & that diversity is welcomed but with exceptions. We also heard that dyslexia & dyspraxia students are welcomed where as hyperactive neurodivergent kids not so much. Please note these are not my views & perhaps the google search has spooked me! But also if there is truth to it, it’s worth knowing to navigate. My question is, are there Indie Senior schools that really do consider children with ADHD? That have a good support department? It would be good to know other’s experiences on the topic. It is a challenge when all the open days seem wonderful & welcoming, but when it comes to finding a good fit it really does feel tricky. TIA

In many it depends whether the symptoms manifest as educational or behavioral. If the child needs a bit of extra help to learn, they have resources for that but if they are disturbing the class and causing problems, it goes down like a lead balloon.

My DC is at a very highly rated selective independent and has adhd.

There are lots of kids there with ADHD. But if it manifests in bad behaviour then that would absolutely not be tolerated. The discipline levels are high. Any behaviour causing disruption would not be accepted.

Both my DC have ADHD and both are at independent schools. In fact that’s why we sent them privately, because they need more support than the comprehensive we were offered provides.

I’d be upfront at the outset when you apply, if the school won’t support your child’s needs it’s just not the right school anyway.

The school will look carefully at the reference from your current school, in particular whether there are significant behavioural problems. If there are that might be an issue. But in general, from my experience at least, there are plenty of ND pupils in the private sector.

Maybe if you say what county you are considering schools on, people could suggest if they are open to all children or not? It narrows down where you are a bit, but a county is big.

In my experience as a prep school teacher there are definitely schools that cater better than other for ND children. They do tend to be the less academic ones with strong pastoral teams. I would ask your prep school where they would recommend - they know your DS very well and will have an in-depth knowledge of all of the senior schools. As a teacher I was in constant contact with all the local senior schools requesting info about scholarships, sharing best practice etc so I knew which school would suit each child.

There are plenty of independents that will take children with ADHD - I know a number with a diagnosis and academic/other scholarships to very selective indies.

However, you should be upfront with the school about the diagnosis. In our experience, ADHD becomes more problematic as children get older (have 15 year old with combined ADHD and dyslexia) and so you want a school that is accepting of this and who have appropriate support.

But, independents are a lot more accepting of ADHD where the issues are mainly around executive function and focus, and very much not accepting when it's behaviour issues, impulsivity etc, so be honest with yourselves about where your child's issues lie in the regard.

Yes my DD went to one.

If you want specific recommendations you'll need to be clearer as to area.

This chimes with my experience. There can be lots of support for various neurodiversities in indie schools, but if the pupil disrupts learning for others that is a problem. If the classmates' parents are paying thousands for their kids' education they want them to be actually able to learn.

And to be fair they have a point.
It would be like paying a lot to go to the theatre and having someone ruin it with bad behavior.

It all depends how their ADHD manifests. There are the day dreamers who aren't listening but they're not disrupting the class. But those who verbalise their completely off topic thoughts all the time are really disruptive for the rest of the class who all deserve a chance at a good education. The honest answer is if a private school are marketing their school based on its awesome academic results, a child who disrupts others learning is not helpful to this. You'll never be told that of course from the school.

And typically those children who are admitted but are then disruptive and badly behaved are asked to leave so that they can learn in a more suitable environment.

My child has significant difficulty with executive function and focus and also has a visual processing disability. He is however well behaved (although was probably viewed as one of the sillier ones in terms of behaviour whilst in prep). He's now in sixth form. About 25% of the children in his year have some sort of exam adjustment which gives a very broad indication as to the number of children in the school with some sort of ND or disability issue.

And, you must be very careful. A friend of mines child, had been in his private school from nursery. They've happily taken their money every year. He does have ADHD and even friend will admit he is disruptive to the others. They've kicked him out, end of year 10. Essentially it means there's no GCSEs for him. They don't want it affecting their results (both his own results were on track for low, and the others he disrupts). Didn't say that of course, they went with 'we can't help him any more.' They would have known all along and this was their plan.

Which area of the country are you looking at? I know of 2 schools in Kent.

Thank you all for your honest responses. Sorry, I forgot to add that we live in SE London. DS is already in an Indie prep school & is doing very well as he is supported. It’s more that he struggles with his executive functioning skills, misplacing things & retaining instructions when his focus wains. He is bright, kind & popular & although has bags of energy, his is definitely not a bad child He is offered movement breaks when his work is complete & swims regularly to burn off all the extra energy!! Everything is heading in the right direction as he is gaining confidence but I just wanted to know how school life gets for neurodiverse children in Senior schools? When more is expected of them & things move at a faster pace. As bright as he is with good CAT scores, the pace of learning needs to slow down for him to grasp concepts. Do these schools have streamed classes for pace? Do admissions take into account their challenges in all honesty? I’ve read other threads on similar topics & it’s putting me off! Some positive info would be good to read. We do have an ‘individual future schools’ meeting at some point this year, but thought to get other’s thoughts as time is flying! TIA

We went for state because DD has a very similar ADHD profile and I thought independent or grammar would not mix well with her SEN needs (she's also dyslexic).

It's needed very careful tweaking of sets to deal with the issues around grasping concepts while also being in a class aligned with her ability levels (you would normally expect her to be the kind of child who picked everything up extremely fast and who can retain infomation). It's become increasingly harder for her as she's got older and got closer to exams.

We did find one that ticked all the boxes in the independent sector and had great SEN support, but it was boarding and the fees were well beyond our reach. To be honest we have been extremely happy with our state option although their SEN department is increasingly overwhelmed.

My DS was diagnosed with ADHD while in Year 8 at a co-ed prep., then moved to a single-sex senior school in Y9. One of the unexpected benefits of a single-sex boys' school was that DS's more "energetic" ADHD behaviours didn't stand out so much in a cohort of active boys, so he got into trouble less and his self-esteem improved. This was a significant change from his co-ed prep - when half the class were relatively quiet well-behaved girls, DS's behaviour was more of a contrast and attracted a lot more negative attention from teachers.

Secondary school is a big step up - I say this as the parent of a child who coped until about Yr8 in a selective independent school and then the executive function issues really started to hit. So you may want to reconsider the medication at some point in the future - for us it was a total game changer and the only way of getting through.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow it is a worry when the support is understandably stretched & the department is bursting. As the diagnosis is still quite new to us, I sometimes feel uncomfortable reaching out for the support at school & checking in to see if all okay time to time. Still getting use to that. I guess it’s a learning curve for most of us really. I hope your DS finds ways to navigate the big exams & feels alright about it all. Our DS having combined ADHD, is inconsistent with approach to assessments & exams which we find tricky to support him with. Some days he is bursting with enthusiasm & has the energy & will for us all! & sometimes he sort of shuts down & gives up. Best of luck to your daughter

@Tallaght Glad to hear your DS is thriving in his all boys school & that his confidence grew. Our DS is at an all boys prep which we moved him too after one term in a co-ed State primary. There were various other reasons, but a big factor was that the girls use to call out to him to chase them every day lol I would see it at drop off (waiting in the playground before the doors opened) & when he did chase them, he would get shouted at by the teachers. I explained to the teachers what was happening & they just said ‘that’s girls for you’! 😳 it’s good to hear that your DS has found the right fit for him. Do you mind me asking if it is an Indie or State setting? We are keeping open about both but have no clue in regards to SEN support in State schools. Do you feel that there is support for him?

@thefamilyofthings thank you for your response. Thanks for the heads up in regards to the leap from junior to senior school. I am a bit worried about it tbh as DS is rather delayed with a few things like organisation skills & he is rather immature & ‘young’ for his age. What age did your DS start taking the medication? It is something we are not ruling out. We decided to put other things into place first but we’ll see. It is good to know it is an option & to hear that things are better for your DS. How well did the senior school handle your DS’s diagnosis & did your son feel supported? Thanks so much

I would say ask for help early and often.

Medication has hands down been the biggest game changer for us and I wish I had started it years earlier.

If there was no Covid and I could start again, I'd have done the diagnosis and an EHCP in Y5/6 rather than waiting until we had problems (it was very obvious she was ADHD from a young age and I was already talking to primary about it by Y5).

We're very lucky that DD has a specific interest that she's also very good at, so she's off to specialise in that in the Autumn, but we have had to do a reduced set of GCSEs to cope and even then, her grades will in no way be in line with her CAT scores or targets - despite her working extremely hard. She just cannot retain information - we have done a BTEC as one of her options and she's on track for almost full marks (ditto with any course work) but while she does very well in classwork, she completely falls apart in exams.

Good luck to you and your DS, I hope you find the right school/path. And definitely have a think about meds - they make DD an easier going, more rational, more focused and organised version of herself but she's still very much her... just easier to live with!

@OhCrumbsWhereNow thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really is most helpful & reassuring to hear your DD is thriving, especially after finding something that she loves in her specific interest! We too, always knew DS had ADHD from the get go & the confirmation received in year 4 has enabled us to research & push forward with different eyes & expectations. Our DS is the same, finds it very challenging to retain certain information & can get frustrated with himself. This is why we are thinking that maybe a good state school would be a better option. Although the Indie school smaller class sizes & it being an all boys school seems to work in his favour… gosh, it really isn’t straight forward! Thanks for the tip re meds. You are the 2nd poster that has shared the benefits & I have already had the chat with husband this eve about it. Thank you & good luck to your DS for her Autumn adventure!