Blindfolds

[BePearlCritic]

DD’s school have sent a letter home stating that they are going to start doing team building activities and the children will be blindfolded for most of them. It will involve things like sitting on a chair and trying to work out where the noise is coming from and having a sighted child guide a blindfolded child around the school. They are then going to Kingswood in a few months where they’re doing a blindfolded assault course.

DD told me she’s really scared (and I could see it on her face) about not being able to see as she’s never been blindfolded before but her friends are actually all quite excited about it.
The head teacher mentioned it in assembly and a lot of the children squealed ‘YESSSS’.

I think her fear comes from the fact that the school are very strict at removing girls’ nail varnish and come round most mornings doing ‘nail checks’ whilst holding a bottle of nail varnish removed and cotton wool which has made her a bit scared of them.
DD loves nail varnish but I always make sure hers is removed before school (which deflates her) so the school doesn’t take it off her themselves.
A few of her friends have been given disciplinary action for reapplying nail varnish after they’ve had it removed in school.

I think she’d be fine when she has the blindfold on but do you think there’s anything I can do to help her leading up to it?

Complete non-issue then, she doesn't wear it to school.

Has she any other hobbies than...nail polish? Might be worth expanding her interests.

Not that she can’t wear nail varnish.
I said she’d feel deflated if she was made to remove it at school with everyone watching.

Too much deflating IMO

I think if she’s never been blindfoldedI can see why she might feel apprehensive. That’s very easy to overcome. Apprehension at something that’s never been done before is entirely normal. No need for fuss. However, the nail varnish nonsense needs to stop. She’s not allowed to wear it to school, it gets removed if she’s found with it. There’s a natural consequence to defiance and if she doesn’t like other people seeing her having nail varnish removed then the way to deal with it is not wear it in the first place. If the lack of nail varnish is something that is truly incompatible with your feelings around school rules then for everyone’s sake, find a school that does allow it.

Alternatively, assuming she’s at school because she’s under 18 and therefore a child, you could try parenting her and saying no.

Flipping heck .... has the school nothing better to do!?

Some people are misinterpreting my point.

I said she wouldn’t like other people seeing her having her nail varnish removed which is why she doesn’t wear it.
My DD understands it needs to be off for school. I said it was her friends who don’t.
They have theirs removed by the school and they’ll just repaint them again that evening and the cycle continues.

One of her friends even put up a Facebook status saying ‘I don’t understand why school makes me take my nail varnish off every day when they know I’ll just put it back on for the next day.’

The only loose link between nail varnish and being blindfolded was the strictness of the teachers coming round with remover (for the other girls as again my DD doesn’t wear it to school) was part of the reason why my DD doesn’t feel safe blindfolded around the teachers as she’s very shy and timid.

Her friends obviously aren’t afraid of the strictness of the teachers doing the nail varnish checks like my DD is or they wouldn’t wear nail varnish every day knowing it would be coming off.

That was my point.

This is ridiculous, it really is a moot point

Right so flip her perspective on this then. If her teachers are strict then they won't put up with poor behaviour. If they don't put up with poor behaviour then there won't be people being idiots when blindfolded which is a good thing for her.

She needs to understand the teachers strictness is actually working in her favour as she is not a rule breaker and that strict teachers will actually have her back and keep her safe . At the minute she is feeling us (children) Vs them (teachers) she needs to feel us (rule following students + teachers) Vs (poorly behaved / risky choices students).

Yeah I agree and this is what I’ll work on with her including blindfolding her at home.
My DD definitely thinks it’s all children vs teachers as you said and not really taking into account that her friends are only having their nail varnish removed because they shouldn’t have it on.

I do believe girls should be allowed to wear it but I obviously won’t tell her that as she’s good with removing it for school.

I've never known anyone so interested in the nail varnish rules for a secondary school.

Why not move to another area if being able to wear nail varnish is so very important to you and your daughter?

My dd had to move schools in year nine as she wanted to do textiles at GCSE. That was her priority over friends and travel convenience.

This is not your first thread about the nail varnish rules and you seem to think it very important indeed.

I agree it is very odd.
I think the blindfolds part of the post is irrelevant and this is really just another post to talk about the unfairness of her daughter not being able to wear nail varnish.

I think this is the kind of fear I'd be jollying out rather than reinforcing by giving it any bandwidth.

I think the blindfolds part of the post is irrelevant and this is really just another post to talk about the unfairness of her daughter not being able to wear nail varnish.

It's very strange that every update from OP just has to mention nail varnish. Such an odd thing to be obsessing over. School is for education, not beautification.

Haven't they done these types of team building games in primary school? Or pin the tail on the donkey at a party?

I highly doubt it’s real tbh (and yes, I have reported it).

What an odd post. I understand why your dd might be embarrassed if she www publicly forced to remove her nail varnish at school. The remover might not be good quality and it might take a while to remove it completely. Deflated sounds like an odd reaction unless it’s the sort of school where rules are applied inconsistently so others get away with the same infraction.
The fact that the teachers are strict work in her favour. There will hopefully be no pranks played on the blindfolded kids (I assume that she’s scared and feels vulnerable blindfolded) and she hopefully has friends that she can trust to keep her safe from falling down the stairs etc rather than having to trust people that she doesn’t know well.
I would encourage her to blindfold herself and have her walk around at home with you as an assistant. Didn’t she play games like doing trust falls at primary school?

That is exactly what I’m going to do at home.

Her primary school was boring and they hardly ever did anything other than lessons.

The people finding this thread ‘odd’ are the ones focusing too much on the nail varnish side of things.
I only made a loose link about this as I thought the fact that the teachers are so strict in removing it is what has made her feel scared blindfolded around them.

She has never worn it to school so it’s a non-issue for her.

I’m going to reiterate that it’s good children and teachers vs bad children and not all children vs teachers like she thinks it is.

Nothing sinister about it.

Hi OP,

Back in the 80s and 90s when I was at school they never did weird things like blindfolding kids. It seems entirely inappropriate to me that they would do this, and I can understand why your DD doesn't like it.

My DS found all these things really hard and unfortunately I had to withdraw him from school in the end.

Could your DD just skip the blindfold activity? It doesn't sound essential.

I’m sure you posted about the nail polish before?

I agree, however the other children were all really excited about it and there’s a place called Kingswood where one of the activities is a blindfolded assault course.

I’m going to see how she goes blindfolding her at home but if she genuinely doesn’t like it I’ll let the school know she won’t be doing the blindfolded ones.
There are a lot of non-blindfolded ones they’re doing as well.

What an excellent idea. Teach her that rules don't apply to her and that she's the special exception to everything and never has to feel sad (sorry, "deflated") or do anything that she finds difficult. That'll make her resilient and flexible.

Back in the 80s and 90s when I was at school they never did weird things like blindfolding kids

Maybe not at your school…

I didn’t mind the blindfolds. I did freak out on the nighttime trek we had to do at an activity centre when they made us put actual bags over our heads. I’d like to hope someone would do a risk assessment on that these days.

Back in the 80's and 90's they did plenty of weird things in schools. I recall being made to have naked cold showers after PE where PE teacher would watch us to ensure we went in. At primary we did PE in our knickers and vests. I can also remember doing team building with blindfolds.

I remember naked showers but the teachers stayed away until the last person said they were finished and back ‘decent’.

I’d definitely withdraw my DD if she had to put a bag over her head instead of a blindfold.
That sounds scary.