What is wrong with my child?

[ByOliveReader]

or maybe something is wrong with me and I am being overly dramatic.

We live in an area where the 11+ test is still in place. Your child will sit the exam unless you raise an objection, and 95% of children sit the test.

DD goes to a good state school and is doing well. Her reports have always been good: 'meeting or exceeding the required level.'

Like most of her class, she attended an after school 11+ prep club at her school, and we did the required homework / reading etc. We had tapered our expectations because it is so very competitive, so we were realistic that this was going to be a challenge for her and didn't want her to be disappointed.

She failed the exam. She was ill when the results were published and by the time she returned to school (10 days later) no one was talking about the 11+.

I didn't pay any attention to her score - which was low - until a month later when the subject cropped up during a parent Whatsapp chat.

The local grammar schools post a list of anonymised test results for all entrants and based on this DD's score was in the bottom 2 percentile.

Among the cohort of 5000 students, who took the test, there will be children who would have received no tuition; children who are 1 year behind their peers in terms or reading; children who've been neglected.

I still done understand how she could have scored so poorly. I checked with the exam board and there are no issues with the marking.

However, in the past few weeks, I've been asking her to complete CGP Maths 10 minute workouts and she is only getting half of them correct. Which is in contrast to a year ago.

What could be causing her to perform so, so poorly?

Following a meeting with her teacher, where I discussed the results, they did a screening test and think she might have borderline / mild dyslexia. She has an assessment planned for next year.

I cannot help feel I have let her down because I don't know how to help her. Has anyone gone through anything similar? I am really anxious for her and want to help her any way I can.

I’d be quite worried that school have been saying she’s meeting/exceeding expectations if you’ve found she struggles at home and have only looked at her when you flagged it. You could start workbooks for the year below and have her go through them? Did she complete the reading scheme?

Perhaps she has test taking anxiety, and this has knocked her confidence? My DD has always been awful with exams- she knows the material back to front before the test but gets so anxious in the exam she forgets it all, performs poorly, and this knocks her confidence so she gets it into her head that she can't do the material.
I presume that DD knows her score? I know that you've said nobody was talking about the exam, but it's likely it might have been brought up by a couple of friends ('Oh DD, what did you get?')
Also, it's worth getting her assessed for dyscalculia at the same time as dyslexia. My DD has dyscalculia and it really knocked her confidence, because she just assumed that she was bad at maths/science/pattern recognition etc, when in reality she had a genuine reason for struggling.

11+ success, apart from few lucky ones isn't for kids " meeting expectations" but " exceeding expectations". You have to be fast and detailed to perform very well at 11+

Also, many are tutored for a year or two. Many are tutored by their parents. Some are born gifted. It is a hars work to pass 11+

@SometimesYouWinSometimesYouLearn that is true in many areas, but OP is in a fully grammar county where all children take the test unless they are withdrawn, and OP's DD was at a good school and doing well, and did the 'normal' amount of preparation. OP is right to be surprised that their DD scored in the 2nd percentile.

@ByOliveReader I don't think you're being overdramatic, and I agree with @User37482 that the school should have spotted before now that your daughter was struggling in some areas. I don't have any advice other than to make sure you reward your daughter's efforts and be positive and encouraging as you explore how best to support her.

Hi
Yes, she has completed her reading scheme. She enjoys reading, and reads for each day.

She does get flustered and frustrated easily. I guess its a circle.

The assessor said she would only test for dyscalculia if she suspects DD has it, as she was conscious of over testing.

I understand just how hard.. but DD was tutored and we did support her for a whole year, and during Y1 - Y4 she was encouraged to read, learn timestables etc.
On this basis, I am very disappointed with her score - not her because she has tried her best.

There are many able children who are able to mask their learning difficulties by expressing themselves fantastically verbally, asking brilliant questions during lessons and being well behaved and engaged but not really hitting the mark with their written work.

Or it can be a processing or working memory issue, common for dyslexics and those with other ND but can be stand alone too.

If you gave her a set of instructions would she be able to carry out a set of 3 or even 5 correctly or will she do the last one as she's already forgotten?

Teen DD cant reliable tell the time on a 24hr clock or do maths with time scenarios and often uses her fingers for simple mental arithmetics, but also gets 9 in her Further Maths tests - she gets the complicated things but struggles with the speed and working memory required for the others.

There are many different forms of dyslexia and many dyslexics enjoy reading but you may find she prefers books with larger texts or space around the words, old yellowed pages instead of high gloss white pages etc.

Children who are starting 11+ should already know times tables by heart.
This is too late to learn such basics

Also, your tutor is not fair as he/she should assess her regulary, do mock up tests ans give you the realistic picture from the start ans then about the progress benchmarking with expectations

and OP's DD was at a good school and doing well, and did the 'normal' amount of preparation.

"Expected" is not " well enough" and promising result for a very competitive grammar.
But look at it like that, if she was taking 11+ to any average private school she could have got a good score and got in. Grammars are very very demanding.

Did she have exam practice? Was she used to working to time?

My understanding is that to be sure your child achieves a place at a competitive grammar school, they need to be working two years ahead. There is a facebook group for parents putting their kids through the 11+ and it is shocking how much pressure they put them under and how many hours of additional study they do.

The chances are that your daughter panicked in the exam because of the pressure to pass, but also she might not have been working at quite the same level. Your typical UKS2 comprehension is waaay below the 11+ standard, which tends to be texts from the likes of George Elliott and Dickens, for example, and in maths there are questions which involve using pi which is not in the primary curriculum.

What has her tutor said about this? It's horrible having to have that conversation with a parent that their DC is not working at expected standard no matter what the school says, but I hope they were honest with you. (As an aside, most schools will not accept teacher assessments that show a child is falling behind. A local school to me had writing moderation last year and the % of children meeting expected standard dropped from almost 80% to below 40%).

Other than asking for the papers back to go through them yourself, I think the only thing you can do is move on and just let her enjoy her last year at primary school. There is nothing wrong with your child. If the highly competitive, pressurised environment didn't suit, they are best out of it. I understand that in grammar school areas, the 11+ is such a big thing, but well supported children do well in any school environment and they all end up at the same universities.

My DD did a test at that age and got flustered with the format. She answered 2 questions and then skipped a question, but in the answer booklet forgot to leave a gap. She therefore filled in the wrong question on the answer sheet for all other questions. She got 3 out of 40 and obvious didn’t get accepted!! She’s just passed her GCSEs with an average grade of over 8, so it didn’t hold her back.

Teacher.

A couple of points - firstly some students really really fall apart in exams. I mean to the point of not being able to write anything because they are so anxious.

How sure are you that something did not happen in the exam like this?

This would be my first thoughts as to what has happened.

Secondly, even in fully grammar areas the top 25% are going to grammar. You say your child has always been meeting/exceeding expectations.

If your child has been usually at "meeting expectations" then that usually indicates they are below grammar level. Very few children are below expectations to the extent that most schools will start (or would in the past when there was more money) investigation for SEN if a child is consistently below.

For ks2 sats, 100 is the age related expectation. I taught at a comprehensive and many primary schools made massive efforts to get kids over the line.

In each individual subject, maths and reading and writing 75% of kids get meeting expectations. If you look at them all together 61% do. So some kids get expectations in maths but not in reading or vice versa.

If a grammar is taking top 25% realistically that's kids who are all exceeding expectations.

Some kids don't test well and it's as simple as that

Be proud she even sat the exam

Get her tested for dyslexia

Do all homework and maybe a little extra every week and let her be a kid

Make sure there's support put in place for her with the school as she may be struggling

And not give the 11+ another thought

If it’s dyslexia, the 11+ is virtually not doable unless she has support in place. I’m the opposite, probably slightly hyperlexic, and so when I did my 11+ I have excellent quick decoding skills, which dyslexics are not naturally good at. It’s probably been masked because dyslexics often have excellent comprehension skills.

You haven’t failed your child, OP.

I understand your concern here - you didn’t particularly expect her to pass the 11+ and aren’t upset about it, but you’re absolutely right that in a location where almost all students are sitting the exam there is a big discrepancy between the 2nd percentile and where you would expect a “meets expectations” student to fall (roughly towards the middle). A few posters do seem to be missing your specific worry.

A lot of mild to moderate issues like dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, and processing or working memory issues can be masked early on, especially for relatively bright girls. If assessments do show one or more of these it absolutely doesn’t mean anyone has missed something that should have been caught long ago.

But as a PP said, some children absolutely go to pieces in exams. Others are fine in exams where they feel confident and know a majority of the material, but when faced with an exam like the 11+ that is pitched at a level above them they start in and after a few questions that just feel impossible they get anxious/frustrated/discouraged and suddenly they’re not answering even the questions that they would find workable in an exam that felt more approachable overall.

You’re doing exactly your job as a parent right now by gently investigating. You’ve spoken to the school and she’s scheduled for assessments. Have you had a no-pressure conversation with your DD about her testing experience? Did the exam feel harder than she expected? Was she nervous or having a hard time concentrating? Did she just not want to do the test or think it was worth trying?

11 plus is not the be all and end all.

Regarding fees lots of private children are entering the grammar sector for free more competition than ever. These kids are whipped into shape for a year at least maybe more. They are drilled at school. Plus atom. Plus lots of parents get tutors in. Timetables nailed by at the latest year 3.

10 mins will not cut the mustard for 11 plus - competition is crazy.

Maybe you had a “bad” teacher this year. Some teachers are better than others regarding explaining concepts.

Your tutor sounds a bit rubbish to be fair - they should have told you if there was any issues - I would be more annoyed at the tutor.

11 plus questions are hard it’s a skill for the child to get the correct answer with all the worded questions.

She might be above the level at your current school but wasn’t enough for the competition
At least your child tried and you should be super proud of that

I think there's got to be more to this. Even a bad performance on a bad day doesn't really account for being in the bottom 2% if the majority of children sit the test I'm the first place. It sounds more like there was a massive error like the pp whose child filled out the answers in the wrong boxes. How does it compare to practice papers that she did? How has she done in her autumn term assessments at school?

You have my sympathies, OP.

My DC1 failed the test. I was really upset about it for a long time because I knew DC1 was very bright and the score was not even anywhere close to a pass. And yes DC1 had exam prep classes at school too. It turned out in the end that DC1 was very bright. They have just graduated with a 1st in a STEM subject from one of the world's best universities. They could have equally studied a humanity.

So this tells me that the 11+ is not a good way of selecting the brightest kids . And I I was in a grammar myself and there were certainly kids in my school who shouldn't have been there.

As for the dyslexia, it's good that you have an assessment organised. DC2 is also mildly dyslexic but we didn't work it out until after they had done their A Levels. Another year down the road, DC2 was at uni and both the family and many friends came to the conclusion that DC2 has ADHD - and that has now been confirmed in a formal assiessment. If anyone has asked me when DC2 was growing up if they were dyslexic or had ADHD, I would have said a firm no. So, it might be worth considering this with an open
Mind.

DC2 gets 25% extra time in their university exams due to their dyslexia. The uni doesn't know about the ADHD yet.

You’re completely focusing on the wrong test. The 11+ is a very specific test. It all boils down to how they do on one day. And lots of children are tutored to within an inch of their life.

You know grammar school is not the correct place for her so why are you so focused on this one test? She may have just had a very bad day and panicked. And if she did, again grammar school isn’t the place for her. It’s a pressurised environment.

I’d keep an eye on her test results at school and speak to her teachers. But I wouldn’t give the 11+ another thought.

If you gave her a set of instructions would she be able to carry out a set of 3 or even 5 correctly or will she do the last one as she's already forgotten?

• I haven't really tested this with her, but I think she would be able to carry out all 5 correctly.

There are many different forms of dyslexia and many dyslexics enjoy reading but you may find she prefers books with larger texts or space around the words, old yellowed pages instead of high gloss white pages etc.
I am starting to realist how complicated this all is. I am struggling to get my head around the various terms and who to speak with.

She knew the timetables by heart, it was an example of the work she had put in to get to this stage. Some children doing the 11+ test probably didn't know their tables yet performed better than her. This is what I am struggling with, she did the work and we provided the support but in the end it was for nothing.

I'm not concerned about her not getting a grammar place. My concern is that she achieved just a low score, and I am worried this type of performance will follow her across in high school. What will she do if she cannot pass any GCSEs.

Why was it for nothing? Just because she performed badly on one test. The 11+ is not the be all and end all.