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Secondary education

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Original poster

Private sixth form?

31 replies

Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 11:47

Hello
My DS is currently year 11 and he got accepted to a private sixth form in SW London. His current state secondary has an outstanding Sixth form and he was always clear about wanting to stay here.
DH really wanted him to apply to a private sixth form and do the entrance exams, never really expecting him to get in as he's never had a tutor in his life. Now that he was offered a place, DH is trying to convince him to go even though DS still wants to stay where he is.

He is a very bright boy, if a bit lazy, and has a huge potential. DH thinks a private sixth form would help him reach his full potential, get into Oxbridge and "set him up for life". DS wants to stay where he is, he has good friends, is doing well, has predicted a couple of 9s and mostly 8s for his GCSEs and he thinks he could still get into Oxford (to study Maths or Physics) even from the state sixth form.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to pressure him into going and risking him being unhappy but on the other hand I don't want him to regret not taking this opportunity.

The deadline for accepting the place is in 5 days...

Any advice, what would you do?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 08/12/2024 11:50

I’d let your son choose, it’s his life

redskydarknight · 08/12/2024 12:25

He's likely to do better in a sixth form where he's happy and wants to be. Let him choose.

BrassyLocks · 08/12/2024 12:27

My advice would be to leave him where he is. He's settled, happy and achieving. There's no reason he can't get into Oxbridge from his current school. If you force him to move he may resent it forever, especially if anything goes wrong.

theotherplace · 08/12/2024 13:26

Depends what the 6th form is.

If it's a city / Westminster type school, then I would consider it.

If it's just a private school that takes in wealthy kids with no academic rigour, leave him.

mitogoshigg · 08/12/2024 13:27

At 16 it's his choice for sure. One of mine chose state the other private

LittleBearPad · 08/12/2024 13:28

Depends on the schools in question. Medicine is hugely competitive so if it’s a high performing London indie then it probably will help him to go.

clary · 08/12/2024 13:29

I agree with others it surely has to be in the main your son's choice. He'll do better where he is happy.

Also your DH says "a private school" will get him to Oxford- but they vary, just as state schools do. Does he actually mean "this school will" (worth consuderibg) or just "any private school will" (probably not the case - it's not that simple.

enoughalexa · 08/12/2024 13:42

Maths at Oxbridge is unbelievably competitive so it's a long shot which ever school you go to. It's a lot of pressure to put on DS- what happens if he moves school and still doesn't get into Oxbridge? I'd leave him where he's happy.

HBGKC · 08/12/2024 14:16

He might actually have a better chance at getting into Oxbridge applying from a state sixth form... contextual admissions and all that.

Ubertomusic · 08/12/2024 14:31

HBGKC · 08/12/2024 14:16

He might actually have a better chance at getting into Oxbridge applying from a state sixth form... contextual admissions and all that.

This.

Werecat · 08/12/2024 14:33

He wants to stay where his is. Let him.

HawaiiWake · 08/12/2024 15:58

Look at leavers destinations for Maths and Physics with your DS from both schools. Besides Oxbridge, where do they study for Maths and Physics? The school timetable and teachers teaching these subjects should be on staff list. Also, A levels exam boards for both schools in his A levels subjects and maybe get him to check on student room website. Let him decide. Besides academic is he interested in sports, music, drama etc?

Original poster
Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 16:53

It's Emanuel School, so not hugely competitive, just average I would say. Their students go on to study Maths and Physics in Bristol, Bath, Edinburgh but not Oxbridge.

Also, Oxford is his idea, there is absolutely no pressure from us for him to go there, I don't think he'd get in anyway, he's not that competitive. He is just naturally quite bright and gets good grades with minimal effort. That's why DH thinks he would have a better chance with the private school because they would push him more and make him work/study harder.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 16:56

mitogoshigg · 08/12/2024 13:27

At 16 it's his choice for sure. One of mine chose state the other private

Thanks for this. Also worried he would regret his decision when/if his younger brother chooses private in a couple of years (he is very different and keeps saying even now he'd go private).

OP posts:
Original poster
Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 16:58

HBGKC · 08/12/2024 14:16

He might actually have a better chance at getting into Oxbridge applying from a state sixth form... contextual admissions and all that.

he won't qualify for a contextual offer anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 17:12

Thanks everyone, I agree that it's ultimately his choice and honestly I'm not at all bothered where he goes - he's smart and will find his own way in life, with or without a private education and top universities.
I can also think of 100s of better ways to spend 50k 😆

DH is the only problem so we just have to ignore him for the next 5 days and then a few more when he will sulk for being ignored. He has always been very competitive and ambitious, was always top of his class and thinks that his children have to be the same but they are not. Oh well, he'll get over it.

OP posts:
Tiredalwaystired · 08/12/2024 17:14

HBGKC · 08/12/2024 14:16

He might actually have a better chance at getting into Oxbridge applying from a state sixth form... contextual admissions and all that.

it’s not a given that every state school entry leads to a contextual offer. It depends on the postcode/no of kids on free school meals etc.

redskydarknight · 08/12/2024 19:04

Tiredalwaystired · 08/12/2024 17:14

it’s not a given that every state school entry leads to a contextual offer. It depends on the postcode/no of kids on free school meals etc.

Show quote history

I think it's a given that attending an "outstanding sixth form" won't attract a contextual offer.

w10mum3 · 08/12/2024 19:11

My caveat is that I haven't had a child at Emmanuel, but looked at it, admittedly one or two heads ago, and have several friends whose kids are there or have been recently. It seems like a nice, happy school, but I don't believe it's such an academic powerhouse it would be worth pushing your son to do something against his will. Have you asked to see their university admissions?

Additionally, moving at sixth form, I think, sometimes has drawbacks. It can be distracting having to make all new friends, figure out the social structure, re-integrate into extracurriculars, etc. in the years where the intensity of academics is really ramping up.

grumpyoldeyeore · 08/12/2024 19:25

DS sounds similar and went private with bursary from 11. The benefits of private 6th form are smaller classes, more individualised feedback, more contact time,
more presentations / confidence building, more exam practice, trips etc. The downside with a bright child who can coast is they are spoon fed at private. Revision notes are handed out and you can get by with just doing revision in school time. The school does a lot of the work. Even extra curricular and ucas it’s all done in school. With DS this meant he underperformed at uni as he’d never had to work that hard and had no discipline or motivation. It had all come too easily. A lot of state schools are more exam focussed - DS school was much more about developing the whole person not just exams - which I prefer. But if your DH wants him to be pushed and less lazy then somewhere he has to put in more effort himself may actually be better in long run. At that age they should choose. A huge part of 6th form is the socialising (fake id’s, pubs, clubs, parties, relationships etc).

enoughalexa · 08/12/2024 19:53

Where is he now? I don't think I'd bother moving for Emanuel- especially if he really doesn't want to! They are getting a new head as well so will be a lot of change for a short sixth form.

HawaiiWake · 08/12/2024 20:16

Maths and Physics A levels what would be the third option? Further Maths A levels available in current school?

Original poster
Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 20:49

Yes exactly, it's a nice enough school but not worth moving for it.

The top 3 universities their students went to in 2024 are Bath, Exeter and Manchester. Only 5 went to Oxbridge last year.

@grumpyoldeyeore thank you that's a good point - staying at the current state school he's probably going to be forced to be more independent which is good in the long run when he goes to uni.

@HawaiiWake yes Further Maths is available so it would be his 4th A level, the other 3 are Maths, Physics and Computer Science.

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 08/12/2024 20:54

Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 16:58

he won't qualify for a contextual offer anyway

Show quote history

Oxbridge don't make contextual offers anyway but look at the context of where GCSEs were sat. However they are seeking (and have been already) to improve the percentage of state school entrants. So if he is likely to work well at his current school he does potentially have a better chance where he is

Original poster
Fallenstar123 · 08/12/2024 20:55

enoughalexa · 08/12/2024 19:53

Where is he now? I don't think I'd bother moving for Emanuel- especially if he really doesn't want to! They are getting a new head as well so will be a lot of change for a short sixth form.

He's at WLFS.
Yes I got a message about the new head at Emanuel...

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